To think my husband ought to have looked after our baby properly

[Mrssodapop]

It's a hot day here and I left toddler aged 2 in the paddling with her dad supervising. The water was cool but a couple of pots of hot water had been added so it wasn't freezing. Toddler had been in the pool for about 5 mins before I went in and left husband to it. 10 minutes later he comes to tell me that he thinks ds ought to come out, gone blue and shivering. I get ds out and he is absolutely freezing cold and shivering so much he can't catch his breath. I took him inside and wrapped him in blankets and even got a hot water bottle to warm him up. I was worried because he kept on shivering and his temperature was 34.4! Over the next five minutes he warmed up and temperature was normal but I am furious with husband. I'm cross because he came to ask me leaving ds alone in the pool for a few seconds, also that he even came to ask me, where is his initiative. When I told him ds should have been taken out as soon as he went blue he started arguing with me that I shouldn't have put him in a paddling pool in the first place but my point is husband ought to have been watching him and taking care of him properly. Furious that he just sat there watching ds go blue and didn't respond, I feel he's a crap dad right now.

I don't find it odd that a small child would become cold in 10 minutes.

I do find it strange that an adult would notice a child is cold, and rather than act would go and find another adult.

My youngest is like this, and even last summer (just turned 7), went blue lipped and shivering in a public paddling pool, heated to warm by the sun . All her same age friends were fine. She just cools quickly because there is not much of her (slim), I can easily see her going blue in 5 mins let alone 10! But I have never worried much, just wrap her up and rub her down and she is fine, have never taken her temp before and it wouldn't occur to do that.

Struggling to understand what the over reaction was for with the dh panicking so much that he has to run indoors to seek advice leaving said children in the pool? Then mum taking temp and using hot water bottles etc to warm child up (all of which the child is obviously witnessing). No panic was needed, simply take child out of pool, wrap up in towel, get them dressed if necessary, if the sun is shining they would be likely to warm up better outside.

I would be very annoyed at leaving a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old in a paddling pool tho.

It sounds like your husband is totally insecure about being a parent. I can be a bit like that, not with children I might add, but when I am subject to constant criticism of the decisions I make. Being the youngest in my family I have had a lot of being treated like an idiot, which just becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

From re-reading the OP the child was in the pool for 5 minutes before OP left the garden, then 10 minutes later the DH came in. So the child was in the water for 15 minutes. Warmed paddling pool water cools really quickly IME. Also, my 4 year old would sit in the water and not realise it had gone cold and refuse to get out. I can easily see how a two year old got into warm water and not realise it had cooled to a point it was too cold.

My dcs go blue and shivery in the paddling pool even on hot days, I don't think its that unusual ? Happens if they go swimming too.

Mine wouldn't get into a freezing cold pool but I have seen him in a pool, cool off until he was shivering and still not want to get out. I can;t beleive its uncommon. He wouldn't put a coat on if he was cold at 2 either. He just wasn;t that aware when he was cold.

My (then) 4 year old fell through a pool cover and breathed in water - took about 3 seconds.

No, he wasn't going to die because I hoiked him out instantly but it was unpleasant in the extreme. I would never leave a 2 year old unattended near water. Surely no-one would .

Please tell me no-one on this thread would leave a 2 year old in water to come in and talk to another adult. 5-10 seconds is enough time for a very unpleasant incident.

I'm waiting on the dripfeed that says op lives in the arctic circle.

He acted like a total idiot but the fact that he didn't take your toddler out without asking you first makes me wonder if he is used to being criticised for every little thing and never does anything regarding the children without asking for your advice/permission first.

Are you a SAHM who does everything for the children by any chance?

Oh for goodness sake, you can't be bleating about hot midday sun and lack of cover in one breath and arctic temp in the next. 6 seconds is not enough time to drown, the child was with it's older sibling and yes, if I had to get something which would take me less than 10 seconds I absolutely would.

*its not it's. Poxy iPad.

Just because your DC dont get that cold in a paddling pool doesnt mean the OP is lying!

Have an almost three year old who can go all day in a cold paddling pool and be fine. I have an 8 year old who is fine one minute then literally chattering with cold with blue lips the next. He needs to get out and warm up every 15/20 minutes or so, was a nightmare when he was a toddler, he couldnt do more than 5, but wanted to stay and play!

So I can quite see how her 2 year old can get that cold.

And yes OP, you DH is a gormless idiot who needs a rocket up his arse.

Oh and for the record, I put our pool up under a gazebo so they are not under the glare of the sun all afternoon, which is only sensible. Out of direct sunlight and in cool water they could chill very quickly.

I hate people being accused of lying on the basis of someone else thinking "It has never happened to me therefore it doesnt happen to anyone"

Why doesn't he feel confident in making his own decisions? Do you bite his head off and criticise when he does?

Jenny perhaps he just doesnt care enough to think about his kids welfare on the basis that she will.

Or perhaps he is a fucking arse.

But hey, why not blame the OP....bound to be her fault.

I'm not blaming her at all bogey, I asked her a question.

It's negligent that he left a small child in or by water alone, regardless of anything else. My friend lists siblings drowned in a paddling pool nd she was much older

I agree with TheScience

The toddler might have got some heatstroke sitting out in the sun. That could lead to hyper-cooling in the water. Also, like some PP, I've known kids who get very cold, very quickly. My own temperature regulation's never been that good, either.

Yes I live in the arctic circle.

On a sensible note why would anyone bother lying about something they post on AIBU? What would be the point of that. At lunch time it was midday and scorching, by 2.30 in afternoon it was cooler with some clouds, you know? the weather changed, is that strange that in the UK it can be warm one minute and overcast and not that warm later. Phew.

Forgot to add, OP, your husband acted like a small child himself. Does he have some cognitive difficulties?

I have to say I never knew children could get so cold (to the point of going blue) so quickly. Every day is a school day on MN.

It can change in 15 seconds here! Sun splitting the stones suddenly turns to rain.

Of course it's not the op's fault that her husband is a twat, why assume ?

There's lots of posters talking about leaving a 2 yr old alone. But he wasn't alone, he was with a 6 year old, for me, that's totally different. Or maybe I only know really sensible 6 yr olds!
I think it's more normal than you realise op for a child to go blue in water. Sure, get them out, but the hysterics aren't necessary.

Do you "bite his head off" feels like a critical way to ask your question.

Baffling how many posters are always ready to scrap. From accusing OP of lying to beind a control freak. Oh and a little "SAHM" comment slipped in!

I'd be cross about 2 yr old being left in water.