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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

soft play area toilet accident

130 replies

harrasseddotcom · 17/05/2014 11:19

Just a quick one. My friend took my (usually toilet trained) 2 year old daughter to one of the local soft play areas and my daughter had a toilet accident in the ball pit. The owners have now sent me a cleaning bill. AIBU to not pay it considering I wasn't there and responsibility for my dd lay with my friend, (although dont think she is liable neither, surely this is hazard of running a soft play area and should be calculated into running costs?). Plus atm I am living hand to mouth so don't have the money to pay anyway.

OP posts:
slithytove · 18/05/2014 15:48

I got drunk and pissed myself when I was 19... Should I have worn a nappy the next time I went clubbing?

differentnameforthis · 18/05/2014 16:04

Poo is completely different to wee, sorry! YABU.

differentnameforthis · 18/05/2014 16:11

I think the not putting a nappy on the child is a red herring.

A child is only reliably potty trained if they are able to vocalise or signal EVERY TIME that they need the toilet. Does she do this?

Or do you put her on the toilet at regular intervals or watch her for signs (straining etc) Either way, she is not reliably trained.

Also, if she isn't asking 100% of the time, your friend should have been aware to watch her & take her as & when necessary.

I think poo is completely different to wee. You will probably find that it has to be properly/professionally cleaned due to the fact that is bodily waste, therefore classed as hazardous & can't just be mopped up like wee. Then the whole pit has to be closed for the duration, all the balls cleaned & sanitised, as well as the pit itself.

I don't think they are being unreasonable.

differentnameforthis · 18/05/2014 16:19

I got drunk and pissed myself when I was 19... Should I have worn a nappy the next time I went clubbing?

No, but perhaps control your drinking a little better? Hmm

AWombWithoutARoof · 18/05/2014 16:30

Shock Children shit in ball pits?

Agree that unless your child only has accidents when they are ill, then they are not potty trained. My friend's DS is supposedly potty trained, but has pissed in my living room twice, on of those coin operated rides in the shopping centre, and whilst sitting on a cinema seat.

boak

tobysmum77 · 18/05/2014 16:42

professionally clean a ball pot Grin

yanbu op there are some crazy people on here. I thought most children found poos harder to get than wees.

NoodleOodle · 18/05/2014 17:50

Don't pay, I wouldn't even reply to their letter.

SpandexBallet · 18/05/2014 18:15

It's insane to even suggest that she can't go out because she 'might' have an accident. Accidents happen, that's life. I work in an opticians and when a child squatted and pooed in the shop we still didn't contemplate making the parent clean it up.
Shit happens Grin

Putting her back in a nappy would be cruel and possibly damaging for her development!

Aeroflotgirl · 18/05/2014 18:20

Even if a baby is in a napoy, sometimes it leaks out. When you provide facilities for young chikdren, this is part and parcel of it!

ICanSeeTheSun · 18/05/2014 18:28

I think it insane to charge for this.

Dd is almost 5 and rarely has accidents, DS never unless unwell.

To make my DD wear a nappy would be cruel.

slithytove · 18/05/2014 18:47

Yes different because noone does silly things at that age that they don't go on to repeat.

I hardly think I need to "control my drinking" due to one occasion. And I don't recall saying how much I drank either.

Floggingmolly · 18/05/2014 19:53

Greetings from planet lalaloopyland, zoemaguire.
On this planet, toilet trained 6 and 7 year olds don't shit in ball pools, so no; no need for a nappy. Are you deliberately missing the point? Confused

Dayshiftdoris · 18/05/2014 20:06

My son, aged 6 touched cloth half way down a slide at soft play... He came off the bottom of it waddling like John Wayne...

He is not very reliable even now at 9yrs old - he gets the warning very late and likes to be at his own loo (ASD) plus at times he soils slightly with constipation...

I take it I should have him in nappies permanently then? Just in case... Or never take him to soft play, swimming or even school?

I would say a bit of poo is part of the occupational hazard unless they want no business left

zoemaguire · 18/05/2014 22:19

Molly, you haven't been in a primary school recently if you think that. Some 6 year olds do have poo accidents occasionally, and many many more of them have wee accidents. According to you, they should all be in nappies just in case?Hmm. Yeah, planet lalaland, sorry!

YesIcan · 18/05/2014 23:37

I puked while pregnant in a swimming pool - at first it was in my mouth as I rushed to get out, but on the 3rd retch, some escaped Blush
When I got back from the loo and shower the lifeguard was cleaning us with one of those netty things. I apologised and he was lovely - 'no problem, happens all the time'.
Nappies leak. Accidents happen. If we were going to be 'punished' by having to pay, why would you fess up? Concealing it would make it a much more serious health risk

Evoke · 18/05/2014 23:40

I think they should be used to accidents in those places, sure they sell crap from and you usually see kids eating and drinking non stop in them so that's a recipe for disaster.

AngelBaker · 19/05/2014 01:23

Whoever wrote the letter probably just thought 'why not?' They might aswell try and get money out of you! For all they know you could be do completely mortified with a load of desposeable income and just send a cheque back!
I wouldn't though, I managed a nightclub and had cleaned up plenty of fully toilet trained adults poo and wee and never once thought of sending off a bill, maybe I would if we had a ball pit? Just like children drunk adults are prone to accidents and do it was accepted it came with the territory!

SpamTroll · 19/05/2014 09:00

Whoever wrote the letter probably just thought...... I know they won't pay but at least they will know what happened and will be more careful in future. Cleaning up their kids poo was revolting and took me hours of work. It was everywhere and we couldn't take any chances.

SpamTroll · 19/05/2014 09:06

I think the argument that anyone who may possibly have the tiniest chance of soiling themselves should be in a nappy is not helpful.

The main issue is who is responsible and who should bear the cost if the child soils themselves. I think it's the parents/carers responsibility.

AngelBaker · 19/05/2014 13:28

Well then Spam you would be one of the people sending a cheque back and the owner would be very pleased he bothered. I on the other hand wouldn't and he would have to just accept that. Nothing ventured nothing gained, if it were me he wouldn't be gaining anything!

CrohnicallyHungry · 19/05/2014 14:10

I think it's the parents'/carers' responsibility too, if they were negligent and failed to prevent an accident. Not sure if I've explained myself very well there. But for example, allowing a child who they know has diarrhoea to play in soft play. Or taking their child nappy less on their very first day of potty training. Or in any other case where there is a high possibility of an accident occurring. But if a child has a genuine accident that could not have been foreseen then I'm afraid it is just one of those things.

In reality though, it's not going to immediately be clear if the parents could have prevented the accident or not, and in the grand scheme of things I think it's better that there is a no-blame culture and parents are encouraged to alert staff rather than hide the fact that their child has had an accident to avoid having to pay.

isthereanynameavailable · 19/05/2014 14:19

My son is still in nappies (SN). He had an accident at soft play and some poo squeezed out of his nappy and left a brown trail all down the slide.

The staff could not have been more considerate or caring. Nothing was too much trouble for them, despite having to close the slide and try and clean it. They went out of their way to make sure I was ok as they could see how embarrassed I was, both for my son and me.

They even looked after my elder son (not that he needed looking after) while I changed the younger and give them both some juice and offered me a tea or a coffee on the house.

That is customer service, being charged for an accident in the ball pool is one sure way to quickly lose customers.

AgaPanthers · 19/05/2014 14:21

Name and shame TBH.

Legally I suspect:

(a) you don't have liability for your child anyway
(b) since it was her that took her and probably didn't notice what was going on, the blame might be on her.

Either way, they are being bloody ridiculous. I certainly wouldn't go back there.

SpamTroll · 19/05/2014 16:20

AngelBaker Of course I would pay. I wouldn't expect anyone else apart from a nursery to clear up my kids poo for free. I would pay and I would be extremely apologetic. I wouldn't be embarrassed though, some kids have accidents, it's just one of those things.

If I genuinely couldn't afford it then that would be another matter. I'd suggest paying slowly or offering to do some work for them.

GreenPetal94 · 19/05/2014 17:03

I'd pay it. I think a child should be in pull ups at soft play until they are guaranteed dry and perhaps you were a bit risky. I potty trained at home and the nursery did it. That was after watching my friend deal with her little girl weeing small puddles right across a large café to the loo with one hundred eyes on them. Not the little girls fault but put me in to pull-ups in public mode.