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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

soft play area toilet accident

130 replies

harrasseddotcom · 17/05/2014 11:19

Just a quick one. My friend took my (usually toilet trained) 2 year old daughter to one of the local soft play areas and my daughter had a toilet accident in the ball pit. The owners have now sent me a cleaning bill. AIBU to not pay it considering I wasn't there and responsibility for my dd lay with my friend, (although dont think she is liable neither, surely this is hazard of running a soft play area and should be calculated into running costs?). Plus atm I am living hand to mouth so don't have the money to pay anyway.

OP posts:
TheScience · 17/05/2014 12:04

YANBU!

If you run any business targetting small children, you have to accept that there will be wee/poo/sick involved. They should be thoroughly cleaning the ball pit regularly anyway!

Floggingmolly · 17/05/2014 12:09

It was poo. Does it make a difference?. Seriously? Hmm. Would you want your child jumping around in another child's shit?? A non reliably toilet trained two year old should not have been in the ball pit without a nappy on.

Goes with the territory indeed Hmm

Floggingmolly · 17/05/2014 12:10

And yes, I'd expect to pay.

Charliegirl21 · 17/05/2014 12:10

I don't think YABU.

Funnily enough our local soft play removed their ball pit as there were so many poo accidents in it. They started off with a good humoured sign illustrated with Winnie the Pooh asking parents to be vigilant and if their child was red in the face and grunting then to remove them as quick as poss.

The accidents continued and the owner (who was a nice guy) said he just couldn't afford to keep having it professionally cleaned, and obviously by their deign ball pits are hard and timely to clean so it was expensive!

Still a hazard of young children though, I would write a polite letter and explain you won't be paying.

MrsWinnibago · 17/05/2014 12:13

I agree with other.their insurance should cover this type of thing! Imagine if nurseries and playgroups did this!

TheScience · 17/05/2014 12:15

Even toilet trained children have accidents. It happens. Softplay, nurseries etc have to factor in cleaning.

redcaryellowcar · 17/05/2014 12:23

i think in your situation i would be mortified and have offered to pay for cleaning it, you have to take responsibility for your child so either put nappyor pull ups on if you are not confident she will remember to go or go with pants and accept you know her best so you will have to clear up or pay for any accidents. do think they should put a note on terms and conditions though.

Mybellyisaneasteregg · 17/05/2014 12:24

If there was a sign clearly displayed saying that children who are potty training need to wear nappies then yabvu. Our local one has this.

If however there was no sign then I would contact the soft play and tell them that they should display a sign about potty training children/nappies and the clean up costs associated with a child having an accident.

However t&c and signs aside, I think you were unreasonable to not ensure a 2 year old was wearing nappy/pull-up in the ball pit Hmm I don't think a 2 year can be trusted without one in a ball pit environment.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 17/05/2014 12:30

At my local softplay (it's a Wacky Warehouse) you have to give your surname, house number & postcode as part of the check-in procedure when you arrive & pay.

If it happened to me (I currently have a 99% toilet trained 2 year old), I would clean up the best I could & probably be way too embarrassed to go back! I probably wouldn't be expecting a bill for cleaning - but would probably pay for it if I did. If it was just a wee I would feel differently - but a poo is obviously worse to clean up (depending on where it's gone, consistency etc. etc.).

Accidents happen of course & I would never blame or judge anyone who's toddler had done this - it's just life.

3bunnies · 17/05/2014 12:36

But the OP says that she is usually fine - at 2yrs 4 months dd2 took her nappy off and had no accidents day or night. Ds and dd1 were different children! I think that a normally reliable 2yr old would not need a nappy in a soft play area although of course now the OP might need to be more cautious.

As the t&c don't make it clear that you are liable I would doubt that they can take it further. Nice to know that the balls have actually been cleaned (assuming you have proof that they have been) - I've often wondered how long they go between cleaning them. I am sure I heard somewhere about the number of germs in ball pits.

TheScience · 17/05/2014 12:41

Loads of children are potty trained at 2 Hmm Would you really put a nappy or pull up on a potty trained child at softplay just in case? What about at the shops or playgroup or nursery - when should a child be allowed out of the house without a nappy?

My DS is almost 4, has been out of nappies since 2, and like many children still has an occasional accident.

AuntieStella · 17/05/2014 12:42

It's like the fine cleaning charge for throwing up in a taxi, isn't it?

It's to dissuade as much as to cover the actual costs of the cleaning. So for soft play it's to encourage parents to bring only children who are still in nappies/pull ups or who are normally reliable (not the 'nappy just off, still having accidents, especially when bouncing' stage). Yes you'll still get the odd accident, but not to the extent (or effluvium level) that there might otherwise be.

I think it is the adult in charge at the time who should be responsible for anything to do with cleaning up or cleaning charges, not a parent who was not actually present.

Damnautocorrect · 17/05/2014 12:46

I think to encourage people to come forward 'ever so sorry x pee'd in the ball pond / poo'd in the slide' they shouldn't charge. Otherwise you'd get people that won't say and just scarper leaving kids playing in poo which let's face it would be a whole lot worse.
Surely it's a hazard of the business?

Mybellyisaneasteregg · 17/05/2014 12:47

Yes I think in a soft play ball pit situation 2 year olds should be wearing nappies/pull-ups. How long have they been potty trained for? 6 months? A year? And the temperaments of 2 year olds = unreliable communication when engaged in exciting activities like ball pits.

I think parents should err on the side of caution in the case of ball pit hygiene. I would not be happy to see a 2 year old poo in the ball pit without a nappy on Hmm

Loverofpeas · 17/05/2014 12:48

Is there any small print? Anything on signage to say accidents must be paid for?

ChocolateWombat · 17/05/2014 12:50

Auntie Stella, I disagree.
People throwing up in taxis is unacceptable behaviour. People can avoid it by not being so drunk, or not getting in a taxi in that state. Toddlers who are potty trained, do still have accidents. This is not unacceptable but normal behaviour. A taxi driver should not expect to have to clean up vomit, a place that caters for small children does have to expect some kind of wee/poo/sick...it is normal with children of that age.
One of the features of the job description of people in those places, is to clean the equipment when accidents happen. Insurance is there for large scale damage.
The soft play place needs to include the costs of cleaning and insurance in its admission fees. If they have failed to do that, that is their error.

If childminders or friends looking after children thought they personally would be liable for every accident a small child might have (would you include dropping food on the floor and making a mess which requires cleaning in this) they would never attend. This would damage the business, which is why they don't do it.

Some people do behave irresponsibly. Taking a child who has just started potty training to a soft play without a nappy isn't right, neither is taking a child with a sick or diarrhoea bug. But proprietors need to work on the basis that most people are reasonable and factor into their costs these accidents.

rookiemater · 17/05/2014 12:51

YANBU.

I can kind of see why their policy is to charge for this. If your DC is of toilet training age then it is the responsibility of the parent/minder to keep in close range. However a) you weren't there and b) your DD doesn't normally have accidents.

I'd be very polite about it - run your letter or email past mumsnet. Check out their website as well it may have conditions for entry and part of that may be that you would be held liable for any toilet accidents. The fact that you weren't there is a biggie for me, if anyone is liable it's your friend who took them and I suspect that's where they got your address from.

NorksEnormous · 17/05/2014 12:55

I was deputy manager of a soft play area for years- I've never heard anything so ridiculous!! Accidents happen, tbh a poo is no different in cleaning terms than a wee or even some vomit! Would they expect you to pay if your child threw up?

One time in my soft play place, a child pooed in it's nappy, however was up high, so took the dirty nappy off, flung it, ran to the slide and slid down with a bare bum covered in poo!! There were many shrieks of horror!! GrinGrin

Aeroflotgirl · 17/05/2014 13:11

Well if they expected you to pay then they should be explicit when you pay your enterence fee. Ridiculous, you open a facility for young children, you expect them to have the odd accident. No don't pay, their insurance should cover it!

ChocolateWombat · 17/05/2014 13:13

I think we can say NORKS is the expert on this.
As someone up thread said, what if nurseries or play groups started charging like this.....ridiculous, if the venue is specifically designed for babies and toddlers.

What next? Care homes charging extra when an old lady wets the bed or an old gent is sick on the carpet.

Sounds like the person who sent the letter needs to move into a different line of work, or realise what comes as part and parcel of providi g a service aimed at the u der 5s.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/05/2014 13:13

Mybelly even 5/6 year olds can have accidents if they are enjoying themselves so much they forget to go, would you expect them in a nappy! What about if a child throws up there, should they wear headgear to catch it, stupid stupid stupid!

Gruntfuttock · 17/05/2014 13:14

I'm very surprised that most people don't think you should have been asked to pay. I would expect to pay under those circumstances so I don't think the soft play were at all wrong to ask. I do understand that the OP doesn't have the money, though.

Someone has to clean all that area, which is a revolting job.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/05/2014 13:14

Norms is the expert on this and is tge voice of reason in some ridiculous posts.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/05/2014 13:17

Gruntfog what planet are you on, this is a facility for young children so expect some accidents to happen. If they expect you to pay, they should have you sign something on enterace and have signs up stating that customers will be charged if there is an accident. Yup norks is the voice of reason.

ChocolateWombat · 17/05/2014 13:21

Clearing up is a bit of a grim job, but is part of the job, just like cleaning up wee and poo is in a care home or a nursery. Workers hope they get less rather than more of this task, but it IS part of the job.
Parents should apologise, point out where the accident has happened and perhaps even make some attempt at a preliminary clear up, but the staff have the right stuff for proper cleaning and it is part of their job.
I imagine the man who sent the letter was having an off day and was just tired or it because perhaps there had been several incidents. I don't imagine it is common practice there to send out letters.