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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

soft play area toilet accident

130 replies

harrasseddotcom · 17/05/2014 11:19

Just a quick one. My friend took my (usually toilet trained) 2 year old daughter to one of the local soft play areas and my daughter had a toilet accident in the ball pit. The owners have now sent me a cleaning bill. AIBU to not pay it considering I wasn't there and responsibility for my dd lay with my friend, (although dont think she is liable neither, surely this is hazard of running a soft play area and should be calculated into running costs?). Plus atm I am living hand to mouth so don't have the money to pay anyway.

OP posts:

petalunicorn · 17/05/2014 13:23

I think it does make a difference that it is poo actually. Much more disgusting to clean and they have to get every bit. It's a health hazard in a way wee isn't.

Hand on heart, when did she last have a poo accident? If it was months ago, it's one of those things, it it was weeks or days then not so. Did friend make her go before she went in soft play? Wee accidents I can understand, especially when busy playing but lack of control over poo unexpectedly is not as common?

Aeroflotgirl · 17/05/2014 13:26

Norks has said it's the same cleaning up wee as it is poo, balls still have to be removed and cleaned

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 17/05/2014 13:41

Norks that is hilarious

mamma12 · 17/05/2014 13:49

ignore it it's ridiculous. Legally they don't have a leg to stand on. I wouldn't even grace them with a response. Also, how do they even have your details? If You do respond, write a letter saying you do not consent to them holding your contact details and if they don't remove it and stop contacting you, you will report them to the Information Commissioners Office and point out that legally you are not liable. I'm sure if you were there you would have cleared up. What a cheek.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 17/05/2014 13:49

I think poo accidents are uncommon too. Most toddlers give plenty of warning. When mine were that age, though, they sometimes didn't want to stop what they were doing even though they knew they needed to go to the toilet so those were the times that accidents (mostly wee but poo one time) happened. I can imagine that the excitement of a ball pool would mean that many reliably potty-trained 2 year olds would deliberately ignore their toilet urges because they're having too much fun so I would always have put my toddler in pull ups to go to soft play at that age. It's not worth the risk to have them mess themselves - I would have been mortified, OP, if that had been my child.

All those asking if nurseries should be charging for cleaning too then - how ridiculous! In a nursery setting all staff are regularly asking if children need the toilet and taking them regularly. They are more likely to notice one of them grunting in a corner. THEY are responsible for noticing when 2 yr olds need the toilet. It's not the responsibility of soft play staff to look out for that in all the children playing - - it's up the responsible adult who are with them. And as a responsible adult you should know that you can't see what's going on below the waist in a ball pool so can't see a big lump in knickers. So 2 yr olds without safety net of a pair of pull ups shouldn't be anywhere near a ball pool.

Indith · 17/05/2014 13:53

How can anyone say that the child should have been put back in nappies? Sticking a fully toilet trained child back in nappies just to go play in a ball pool is extremely degrading! FFS .

YANBU, accidents happen. Wee, poo, vomit etc will all happen. Your friend sounds as though she was very polite and responsible and cleaned up as best she could as well as notifying staff. I don' think they should expect anything more.

OwlCapone · 17/05/2014 14:01

A healthy fully toilet trained child does not poo themselves in a ball pit.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 17/05/2014 14:05

Pull-ups are not nappies.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 17/05/2014 14:05

Norks - I can just imagine the fun you must have had cleaning that up!

The thought has just occurred to me that I always put DD in trousers or leggings for soft play - which would also be a good way of containing an accidental poo or keeping a nappy on.

Floggingmolly · 17/05/2014 14:07

A fully toilet trained child would not have crapped in the ball pool, Indith... A wee accident would be a little more understandable, but very few properly trained kids actually poo themselves without warning.

Indith · 17/05/2014 14:08

How is a pull up not a nappy? They are nappies marketed as non nappies in order to extract money from parents.

children have accidents. They just do. My dd is 5 and trained herself around 22 months. She still has accidents around once a week at school because she is too busy and she forgets. Should I put her in a nappy/pull up when taking her to soft play?

MrsWinnibago · 17/05/2014 14:18

Curly pull ups ARE nappies. They just don't have velcro!

TheScience · 17/05/2014 14:19

My DS is 3.9 and has occasionally had poo accidents from holding it in rather than stopping what he is doing - should he still be in a nappy at softplay too? He was potty trained by 2.2 btw.

JonathanGirl · 17/05/2014 14:20

Of course pull ups are nappies!

My dd would be extremely upset if I tried to put her in one to go to soft play, and I'm sure lots of other children would be the same.

You can't keep putting a child in a nappy "just in case" - when would you stop?

Indith · 17/05/2014 14:25

Bloody tempting to put my 5 year old and 7 year old in them on long car trips though! Avoid the whole just making progress will hopefully pass the notorious traffic black spot before rush hour "mummy I need a wee!" stop .

Original poster

harrasseddotcom · 17/05/2014 14:30

TheScience, i think this is what happened to my dd. She is nearer 3 and has been out of nappies/pull ups for going on 6 months. It didn't even occur to me to put one on her.

OP posts:

whatever5 · 17/05/2014 14:34

I don't think that you should pay. If your child had damaged/soiled equipment because they weren't being supervised properly it would be reasonable to charge you but that wasn't the case here. You and your friend are clearly not at fault.

Softplays must/should expect their equipment to be soiled occasionally as they are used by very young children. They should take the cost of cleaning into account when setting admission prices. Charging people for unavoidable accidents will just put people off informing them when equipment is soiled which will ultimately cause them a lot of problems.

mumontheroad · 17/05/2014 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuntyCollocks · 17/05/2014 15:28

I shat in the ball pit when I was 2, and my parents weren't expected to pay to clean anything.

To be fair, my dm shouldn't have given me a fucking laxative before sending me on my merry way, but thems the breaks.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/05/2014 15:46

Owle some do, she is still a toddler. It's expected that young chikdren will soil themselves at times, even fully toilet trained ones, who may ignore the signals as they are having too much fun.

PrincessBabyCat · 17/05/2014 15:57

What? Toddlers have accidents in ball pits? No. Way.

This is why I avoid McDonald's play areas like the plague.

Even if they didn't have toilet accidents, they're still touching god knows what and getting their germs and snot every where.

I am dreading the day I have to chase my toddler through tunnels in the name of letting her have a good time.

And.. no you shouldn't have to pay. Those pits should be cleaned daily (imho), considering most kids don't report accidents and those that do don't always have parents that go up to the workers and tell them their kids peed in the ball pits.

windchime · 17/05/2014 16:12

I think they are just trying their luck. I would be extremely surprised if they got the ball pit professionally cleaned. Soft play is usually minging dirty under the equipment anyway. YA only BU for allowing your DC to go to soft play in the first place. They are all the work of the devil himself. I think you should name and shame.

mumontheroad · 17/05/2014 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

softlysoftly · 17/05/2014 16:22

DD1 pooed her pants at the beach just 2 days ago. She is 4 and a half. She has never had an accident since being potty trained at nearly 3 and wasn't ill.

Its total balls sorry that children who are reliably trained don't have accidents.

takeiteasybuttakeit · 17/05/2014 16:36

I really avoid ball pits since I talked to a friend who has worked in three or four and she told me how under all the balls is often found a brownish liquid, the collected accidents of the kids who use it. So gross.

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