to give up trying to feed this child?

[ankar]

We had dd's best friend for a sleepover last night. The girls are both 8. My dd has done quite a few sleepovers before but her friend started only recently - a mixture of not wanting to initially and then wanting to but her mum being too anxious about it. Anyhow...she was finally allowed to come and it mostly went fine, the girls got along well and even did some sleeping.

However....this child would not eat anything! We really tried and had them make their own pizzas, decorate biscuits and offered lots of general snacks like fruit, yoghurt, crackers etc. She refused everything at first but then later on was obviously really hungry as she did eat a couple of pieces of apple, but that was all she would eat. I just kind of shrugged to begin with and thought she wasn't hungry, but then I realised that she was, but she wouldn't eat our food.

In the morning I made pancakes which she also refused. She looked at the plate and said "I don't like them". By then I was worried but also a bit fed up of offering different things for her to turn her nose up at, so I just said "Well that's a pity" and didn't offer anything else. When her mum just came to pick her up she asked how things went and I said fine but she didn't want to eat anything so I hope she's not coming down with something as she seemed to have no appetite. The mum looked at me quite cross but didn't say anything, then on the way to the car I heard the girl asking if they could pick up pizza on the way home as she was starving!

What could I have done and should I have offered her something else in the morning?

:) suburban!

TheRealAmandaClarke I like what you've been saying on here but "Evans on Prost or whatever she might be happy to eat that was quick and easy" is I'm assuming phone-spell checker speech for "beans on toast" !

I thought maybe it was some kind of rhyming slang I didn't know about!

how do your know whether to get [whatever variety of pizza]

Well I would ask the mum. Because I know that kids can be funny little buggers and I'd be mortified if someone felt unwelcome in my home.

Really? You're having a few kids over for a sleepover and you ask each of their mums what brand of pizza they want? And then you spend the afternoon going into six different shops to satisfy each of them, find room in your oven to cook six pizzas, and happily throw away large portions of the pizza next day because few 8 year olds can eat a whole pizza?

I believe you, thousands wouldn't.

My DCs never eat "Evans on Prost"

I just wouldn't have it in the house.

zzzzz

I think she disapproved of her based on the posts subsequent to her op.
And it was new ground (so yes, possibly "testing") for her becasue it was the first sleepover at this friends' house, and the op started by explaining that the girl had only recently started going to sleepovers (I mean, they're only 8 FFS, how long can she have been doing them?) after refusing the initial invitations.
The mother's anxiety is mentioned in the op and her indulgent behaviour, which the op disapproves of, is mentioned in subsequent posts.

It really doesn't take much more than a little compassion to notice that the girl might have felt, at the very least, a bit awkward
And fwiw, I don't think it's neccessarily rude of a child to say "I don't like it". It can be a disappointment to not have ones food appreciated, but it's very useful to get over that quickly.

Ds hates Evans.

I never have the non g&t kids over. They wouldn't understand the foreign subtitled films we watch.

I mean, they're only 8 FFS, how long can she have been doing them?

Well, if I remember one of the OP's countless stealth boasts correctly, her DCs started at age 5.

Rhonda, everyone else has gone on about their bloody freezers! And I know full well it's AIBU, hence why I started my post with YANBU!

Honestly it's not a fucking PC freezer, but what is so hard about accepting that not everyone has that stuff in?

No one needs frozen potato or chicken no matter how nice it tastes - which is exactly why we don't have it.

Honestly why deride someone and mock them saying they are pc cos they don't have fucking waffles and nuggets.

brdgrl

caitlin

icimoi Tbh, I didn't realise there were a group of them. But Yes, I'd probably check with each of them that theyd be happy with homemade pizza. If someone was "fussy" id try to accommodate that.
I most certainly would not have got the arse because someone didn't eat my food.
Because my objective would be happy kids and not delivering a lesson in "get what you're given or your go without"

Icimoi in my experience of a group 5/6 will be ok with the home-made pizza and one will make it but prefer to eat fishfingers or plain old cheese on toast.

Why would an adult get shirty over that?

If I was having kids round, I would ask if my planned meal was ok.

I would not ask if it had to be Birdseye as opposed to youngs. I would not ask cod or haddock fishfingers, I would not ask chips or wedges, I would not ask pork or beef sausages. I would not ask brown or white or 50/50 bread, I would not ask what colour top milk.

I would ask are fishfingers/sausages/whatever ok and are there any allergies.

I fail to see how that's not enough.

There's nothing wrong with not having chips in your freezer, slithy

There is however, something a bit odd in boasting about it.

Btw, I would give my right arm to see how you get a whole cow in yours ("no frozen meat not in its original form")

My dd had her first sleepover last aged 5, is that too young then suburbanrhonda?! They were asleep by 9, up half seven, and tomorrow's a bank hol. We had no food issues! Seemed a lot of her pals had started doing them, so like sheep we followed.

Last night*

It's ok zzzzz, I iust realised I lied anyway there is square slice in there but I would never offer that to anyone else, it's all mine

It's not exemplary at all, there is ice cream, pizza dough, ice pops, far too much frost, rhubarb crumble FROM TESCO! I just can't have the ready food in because I would eat it all.

I have no feelings about the contents of your freezer slithy
It was your position on not being accommodating of ppl's pferences that I was (maybe shamefully- sorry) "mocking"
I don't have any "frozen potato products, or non meat, meat in my freezer either. But I do have ice cream and croissants and either of those could be an emergency tea or breakfast.

It's a micropig Rhonda I wasn't actually boasting, just explaining that it is normal to not have these things.

But I think it is accommodating of preferences to ask mum "is this ok" and for her to agree!

If her daughter only eats a certain kind of pizza, I would expect her to tell me.

Rhonda

Anyway. Off to bed. Goodnight all. Thanks for the row chat.
Love MN.

My dd had her first sleepover last aged 5, is that too young then suburbanrhonda?!

Not at all, but again, a bit strange to boast about it, as the OP did.