PIL's winter fuel allowance

[Worriedkat]

PIL have just received their winter fuel allowance, late due to an admin oversight apparently. They want to use it to take us and DHs siblings and partners out for a slap up expensive meal.

I don't feel quite right about it. Probably having worked for a well known advice organisation and remembering all the clients badly affected by austerity measures. I suggested to MIL that we buy a meal to cook in our house and donate the rest of the money to charity, she got all offended and said her and FIL had never been eligible for any help when their kids were small overlooking child benefit and the fact they have significant savings and they're not going to refuse handouts now they're finally getting them.

Would IBU to not go on this meal? Am perfectly open to being told I'm being way too precious about this.

YANBU. It's in very poor taste, but I don't think there's any way of getting out of it without causing ructions.

"most of it is kept offshore so they tell us."

To avoid tax?

Yeah, they don't really sound like the kind of people who'd give their WFA to charity.

At 54 I am really looking forward to (providing they haven't been stopped by then):

Bus Pass
TV Licence
Free Prescriptions
Winter Fuel Allowance

And anything else that's going.

We are very comfortable but we have also paid huge amounts of tax since we were 21. If I ever have a DIL who tells me how I should spend one penny of any income that comes into our house I shall be extremely disappointed in my son's taste in women. End. Of.

"most of it is kept offshore so they tell us."

Sounds as if they don't need it then.

When I said my dad doesn't "need" it, I meant in the sense that he would always budget to make sure he can pay bills.

Not in the sense that he is sitting on a pile of savings/living off interest!

I don't get it - do you NEVER go out for dinner, or go on a holiday or go out for a drink or a coffee? If you are claiming Child Benefit you may well earmark that money for clothes, activities etc (as did I when we got it!) - but you are still fortunate enough to have some money for "treats", (in our case it was just that we didn't allocate the CB money to our "slap up dinner out and babysitter" - that was effectively just as important for our family as our children's activities to preserve our marital relationship)

Ok it may be a bit odd to specify that this is what they are using their WF allocance for but it doesn't change the fact that they don't "need" the money, just as many CB recipients, even now, don't "need" that money. And maybe they are saying it to make you all feel better about being taken out at their expense.

My suggestion wasn't telling or dictating to them what they should do with the money. It was a simple casual suggestion in conversation. Just as those on this board are suggesting that we donate our child benefit, and it raises a fair point which I'll consider with DH.

Just do what Gary Barlow would do.

A 'simple casual suggestion' so simple and casual that you're prepared to back it up by boycotting a meal out if they don't agree with you?

Whatever...

If as Uk residents (which they must be to get fuel benefit) your PIL are evading tax by keeping it offshore, then thats a way bigger issue. UK residents are taxable on their worldwide income (simplifying matters hugely but basically) though they will get double tax relief if they have incurred any in many tax jurisdictions.

Why are you worried about them spending £200 of legitimate benefits but apparently unconcerned about them implying they are committing tax fraud?

sorry I not implying they are committing tax fraud if they are declaring it, just that it seems to be your implication that they live frugally here becasue they can't bring the money into the country.

next time someone asks me out for dinner I'm going to just casually suggest that I'd rather have a new frock.

I wouldn't go on a meal with my parents if they told me they were using the winter fuel allowance on it. They wouldn't say that though as it's in poor taste. If you don't want your children to comment on how you spend benefits that you don't need, don't tell them about it.

They are robbing peter to pay for Paul, whats wrong with that?
When my dc were little I'd spend their CB on clothes for me and dh as I got the cash from PO then.
I still had to pay or nappies and milk, using other money.
Your ils will still have to pay their heating bill.

Agree with the vast majority. It's their money and you would be being quite rude to 'boycott' the meal because you don't think it's right that they are spending what's just appeared in their account on something you approve of.
As was very well put on about P2 - they have "borrowed" from their 'treats' money to pay for the fuel over the Winter, and this payment into the account has now enabled that "borrowed money" to be paid back into their treats account for them to be as frivolous as they want with it.

You would be being very hypocritical if you accept your Child benefit when not on the breadline - as you say, your dc are 'treated' to luxuries such as out of school activities with that universal 'benefit', so if you boycott this meal because your PiLs are spending their universal benefit for the treats they have chosen, then you really are being two faced.

"MIL got all offended and said her and FIL had never been eligible for any help when their kids were small"

May be some truth in that, they didn't have child tax credits although maybe had married couples allowance.

I wouldn't much like an expensive meal out because I'm not into wasteful spending. But it's a treat for them more than for you, let them if it makes them happy.

It's rude to refuse a gift that's offered from the heart.

If he wants to take you out, let him. It's his money.

YANBU. Its your principals, and its valid principals at that, and you are entitled to stick to them. Too few people actually stand up for their moral principals and instead vent nonsense on social media.

BTW.. 'keeping money offshore' does not make them fraudsters or tax evaders. Plenty of legitimate tax-efficient offshore investments in existence that HMRC are quite aware of and happy about.

Thing is though Chelsy - OP has admitted the principles only apply to the money her PiLs have received (Fuel Allowance) , and not the money she receives (Child Benefit) - surely that makes a difference?

All well and good if she donates her Child benefit to a worthy cause each month, then it wouldn't be being hypocritical.

guess who's getting a charity goat for Xmas?

I actually got one of those from my parents one year. We were a bit disappointed by it because we expected a picture or something of the family that the goat was going to (like when you fund a child), but we just got a generic card from the organization.

But yes OP, if you are so insistent on them spending money on charity, you should ask for that as a Christmas gift when it's money being spent on you instead being "generous" with their money.

Hmmm maybe I'll phone them later and see how the land lies (apologise?).

I suspect they think it's another one of my silly misguided ideas. They were disapproving of my voluntary work (waste of time working for free) and shocked that DH's cash in hand work is being declared so that he can pay income tax on it. DH says they'll chalk my donation to charity idea up to "another ridiculous idea". We just see things so differently.

I will update if anything interesting is said.

Oh and I would love a charity goat! That would be right up my street. We have asked for similar in the past but they refused, they like us to have tangible presents to open.

This is exactly why well off pensioners should not get the fuel allowance and it should be means tested. The ones that keep it should be ashamed of themselves.

Yabu. My ils use their winter fuel payment each year to pay for their grand children's presents and to out a little away for a holiday. This is despite our best attempts at getting them to use the money to turn up their heating over winter. They see it as money they wouldn't otherwise have in order to treat us and their dgc. They were both very poor growing up and are still stuck in that lifestyle when it comes to themselves.

Perhaps the ones that keep it see it as payback for all the thousands of pounds in tax they've paid during their working life?