PIL's winter fuel allowance

[Worriedkat]

PIL have just received their winter fuel allowance, late due to an admin oversight apparently. They want to use it to take us and DHs siblings and partners out for a slap up expensive meal.

I don't feel quite right about it. Probably having worked for a well known advice organisation and remembering all the clients badly affected by austerity measures. I suggested to MIL that we buy a meal to cook in our house and donate the rest of the money to charity, she got all offended and said her and FIL had never been eligible for any help when their kids were small overlooking child benefit and the fact they have significant savings and they're not going to refuse handouts now they're finally getting them.

Would IBU to not go on this meal? Am perfectly open to being told I'm being way too precious about this.

I think that you were wrong to suggest that they give it to charity, but I can see how it would rankle if they don't need it.

That said though, my dad gets £300.

It could be argued that he doesn't "need" it.

But that's only because he's bloody careful.

I wouldn't begrudge him treating himself tbh.

It isn't the feeling uncomfortable thats sanctimonious its trying to insist her PIL donate the money to charity. She wasn't asked - "how should we spend this money?" but "would you like to come out for dinner?" I doubt MIL was expecting a lecture on it.

I doubt that anyone who thinks the fuel allowance will pay for a slap up meal for 6+ adults is well off. It will be a nice meal down the local italian paid for out of their own money.

Do you think anyone hard up should be allowed to go to Bingo once a week and get a fuel allowance? Its probably about the same money over a year. Basically you're saying - if you can scrape together more than £200 a year to pay for some non-essential or other then you shouldn't be allowed a fuel allowance.

I wouldn't presume to even vaguely hint about what I thought family members should do with their own money. How rude is that?

Sounds like a slap-up meal would be wasted on the OP. I wonder if the PILs would like to invite me instead? I'd be gracious, grateful and good company, too. And I'd mind my own business

Do you tell her what she should do with her pension too?

That would up to more money particularly if they have other sources of income than the state pension so you could really get a decent amount scraped together that they don't need and could make some charities very happy.

OP suggested, not insisted.

Sounds like you want a medal. Fgs let them do what they want. How self righteous are you.

If this was anyone but pensioners saying they were taking "handouts" whether they needed them or not, they'd be annihilated. They clearly don't need it though.

Thanks for all your replies. To be fair I haven't told PIL what to spend any of their income on, nor made any insistences. It was a casual suggestion.

Yes we do get child benefit, it gets spent on things like swimming lessons, school trips, kids clothes off eBay or from asda, that sort of thing. So yes we could not claim it and give up these things, look for second hand clothes bundles etc.

PIL have a lot of money. Serious amounts, but they live modestly in this country as most of it is kept offshore so they tell us. I don't know how much fuel allowance they get but they live in an area of the country that is a lot cheaper in general so perhaps it does cover a meal for 8.

Its an automatic payment. My neighbours don't need it. They rang up to say they didn't need it but they were told they have to receive it and can't opt out so it's not a case of people claiming what they don't need.

I assume your PIL pay for fuel in the winter? So they are entitled to the WFA - it's not means tested - get over it

My very wealthy parents use theirs to buy extra booze ( well a weekends worth) with theirs...

How strange of you OP.
If they had used this money on fuel over winter and bought you a meal with their own money would you have had a problem then?
It's their money now, to do as they wish, and I, personally, would not be thinking kindly of somebody who told me how to spend my money, especially if I were to be treating them with it too!
The mind boggles!!

There's some harsh posts on here. If the OP had said they were using their DLA to take her for a slap up meal, would you have posted the same way?

I hear you, Worriedkat. Unfortunately it's not a means tested benefit so they can do as they please with it. It's up to you whether you go for the meal or not, but I wouldn't if every swallow if going to make you feel bad though.

Sorry, OP I think you're being very self-righteous and if you were my DiL you would have been told that too.

I don't care if they're as rich as Croesus or as poor as church mice, what they spend their money on is none of your business.

Either graciously accept their invitation or graciously decline it.

yes LadySybil I would - since the same principle applies - it is THEIR money to spend how THEY choose

What if it was JSA and was spent on a wide screen TV (not insinuating anything or trying to offend)? I've seen many posts over the years which are critical of people claiming benefits and what they spend it on, why is this different?

I have to go to work so I'm not running off, just curious.

You could of course argue that by taking the family out for a meal they are actually helping those less well of than themselves.

YABU. Very insulting to dictate to others how they spend their money.

but I wouldn't judge anyone on what they chose to spend their money on - just because someones main or part income is benefits doesn't make it less theirs

I can understand what you mean. I wouldn't be very impressed if my parents suggested they we go out for a meal with their winter fuel allowance. They know that I'm not impressed by the fact that they get it though so they wouldn't dream of telling me how they spend it. I think I have suggested that they find out if there is a scheme near them where they can donate the money to people who really struggle to afford fuel in winter.

LadySybil posts that are critical of what people are spending their JSA on generally get met in much the same way with the overwhelming response being that once the money is given then it is the receivers to do what they wish with it.

Despite the label Winter Fuel Allowance there is absolutely no legal obligation on those receiving it to spend it on fuel in the winter.

my dad get this doesn't 'need it' but he worked for 50 years so I reckon he is due it, he uses it on his grandchildren, let them take you out for a meal, they have paid their fuel bill and worked, have fun with it.

"I've seen many posts over the years which are critical of people claiming benefits and what they spend it on, why is this different?"

It's not different. It's equally poor behaviour to criticise benefit claimants for their spending choices

Fairynuff, msmoss

I really am off to work.

Presumably your PIL paid for fuel last year?