16 Kids and Counting

[Shinyfly]

So I've just watched this (recorded last night). AIBU to think that both of these couples just have stopped at one or two?

These were (just a couple) of the red flags for me.

1. The first family had 11 kids (number 12 made an appearance at the end of the programme). All of their children were home schooled and the only time they were permitted to mix with other children was once a week at boys/girls brigade. Mum Tania has a three year plan to have them living in the country and even more isolated from society very soon.

1. The second family were completely devoid of any rules/routines/boundaries, the house was complete chaos with children sleeping in their clothes and the older children being made to supervise the younger ones homework. Dad's clothes were always filthy.

Bth families seemed intent on having more children.

People who have that many children aren't thinking of them at all, it's about the parents feeding their emotional needs, it's an addiction. I feel very sorry for the children involved, they get very little parenting and attention.

Homeschooling can be necessary if it's to protect a child from bullying or if the local school can't meet their needs, it can be effective with the right parents who are educated enough to teach and disciplined enough to make it work. When it's done by undereducated people it's harmful and when it's done to socially isolate the children to force them to remain dependent on the family, it's abuse and social services need to be involved. You don't have the right to birth your own cult.

I hate seeing these dysfunctional parents being held up as if they were wonderful without any concern for their neglected children.

How can a parent properly home school 13 children all of different ages?
I doubt that even a skilled teacher could do that successfully. They are unlikely to get any qualifications or be employable.

Wow Shinyfly, what a huge generalisation of home schooling you've just made. You've obviously not met many home educated children by the sounds of it.

All the ones I know do a vast variety of activities with children of all ages (so not stuck in a class based purely on their age) taught by professionals or by parents with relevant qualifications, or even sometimes just by someone with a special interest in a subject.

They are all far more informed than most people who accept the norm and send their children to school.

Maybe you are the one who needs to be informed about HE.

Actually SpocksThirdEar up until 2 years ago I worked in the department for homeschooling in my local council.

Both the Radcliffes were adopted I believe?

Which possibly suggests attachment issues. Their first child being born when she was very young (14/15?).

The HS lady was advised against having more children after no 9 for health reasons but carried on even though it could kill her leaving all the other kids motherless.

That is selfish IMO.

The Salims just disgusted me by the squalor and lack of boundaries and chaos they lived in. The only person who was presentable was the eldest daughter but because of her feckless father she's now questioning why she's bothering to study so hard. The man needs to grow up, the way he is so enthusiastic to be solely in the company of children really didn't sit right with me

The home schooling family were just odd and very sect like. Those kids will either rebel in a massive way or lose any sense of self because their mum is such a control freak

The radfords come accross as a lovely family and couple but the middle children seem to be suffering from a lack of 1:1 attention, which is very sad

Home schooling has it's place, sometimes it is necessary in certain situations, but you also have to be careful not to isolate your children, and give them opportunities to interact with their peers. I personally could not, and I do not feel I have the skills to.

The Salim wife looks like she will kill him if he lays so much as a finger on her again never mind get her pregnant again!

I like watching the Radcliffes, think they've got good family values snd do appear to spend quality time with their kids.

Think the Indian family last night were just awful, the house was filthy and they all looked unkempt.

Quite liked the home school family, it's not an option that I would consider. school is so important for social skills.

if you can financially afford to have children without relying on the state then I have no moral issues!

The Radfords need professional help, it's obsessive, like they are collecting children. It was telling, when one of the chikdren said that they would not notice if he was missing . Their children seem more sensible, than them.

Well, Shinyfly, we know how the government and LEA's love home schooling, so I'm sure you got a totally unbiased view.

2 of my friends have DC's who are off to university this year - with qualifications, just like what you get from real live schools! Amazing! You can actually do these things.

I couldn't home educate either, I'm far to unsociable. I would do it if it were necessary, if my child were having such a bad time in school that there was no other option, or if there were no school place while we were on a waiting list.

I have 5 children and I can assure a previous poster that families with more than 4 children do get individual time. Just because they don't show that on TV doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Editing is done to show the most exciting parts, not the bits where they're sitting around doing not much, or sitting with one child for a chat etc.

I watched this when it was originally shown.

I think big families are wrong for numerous reasons. I would never put myself or any children through that.

I now work for Children's Social Care, in this job I've worked with families who have homeschooled. The kids have rarely benefitted from it.

It is impossible to spread yourself evenly amongst 16 children, something has to give. She is now expecting baby no 17, put a knot in it. Her GP should refer them to a therapist.

I'm pleased that someone has started a thread about this.....I thought I was the only one that was watching it and thinking it was, hard to think of the word...troubling.

I just cannot see how families of that size are a good idea. It either looked like total chaos or some sort of mad institution. The part that bothered me most though was the parents that kept saying they were "addicted to babies". I just think that is a worrying thing to say when taken to that extreme. You're not just making babies are you? Your making people who are going to be babies for a very short time. I agree with the relative who said "I hope they stop now....16 is enough. They need to just appreciate the children that they already have".

I didnt know you, or anyone, was in charge of howmany children someone should have. Cool job, bro.

We're talking fgs, it's a forum, mabey somebody should or the Radfords and people like them will keep having children.

I think someone should put a stop to people having baby after baby after baby. It is unfair on the children.

It did come across like that to me too everlong. With the Salim family I thought it was really sad when the wife said that she was really unhappy and didn't want anymore as they had barely any money and it was such a struggle and the husband kept just saying "Oh, I LOVE kids, I just like having fun" and all he basically seemed to do was lark about the whole time talking about how many more he wanted with no regard for his wife's feelings or the fact that they couldn't afford it.

how should somebody stop them, Wandering?

I don't think that non-breeders should get a tax relief, I think that they rely on a positive breeding culture as much as the rest of us. However more than 4 children is not a positive breeding culture, we could probably do with us all having 2 children or less but I understand some people want a big family, child benefits (all of them, including tax credits) should stop after the 3rd child.

then we will see how many people wish to continue to have 10+ children.

I saw this before. I think the homeschool Mum has a family and they are not in touch, dysfunctional. I am under the impression they are a blended family and that they are very religious as well.

Exactly what i was going to say nomorequotes.

Cutting tax credits/child benefit should stop people having 5,10,15 etc children.