Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To feel completely embarrassed and to be crying after a driving lesson?

96 replies

sophierose1 · 13/05/2014 16:20

I have finally started to learn how to drive after many years of not having the funds to. Unfortunately I am not able to get insurance on dh's car because its a lease from work so I am going to have to rely on lessons alone. Today I had my third driving lesson and it could not have been more of a disaster.

For this lesson we went into town instead of quiet country roads like the previous two. I did everything wrong and I mean everything I couldn't even remember to put the handbrake completely down. Once I started to do things wrong I completely panicked and that really set the rest of the lessons tone. My driving instructor made several comments about how this was really embarrassing for me and told me how a man behind me was getting annoyed and was shaking his head because I was holding him up making me even more self conscious. As the lesson went on he was getting more frustrated and became snappy when I wasn't grasping what he was saying. I know he was joking and was just trying to push me but I became nervous about asking him questions and I don't think this is a good thing. I've come away from the lesson not even knowing what I did wrong at some points :/

I am really worried, upset and just really embarrassed and feel like I have completely lost all the little confidence I had. I honestly can not see how I am ever going to be able to do this I just don't think that my mind can concentrate on that many things at once. I know its only my third lesson but I can just see me getting worse and getting myself into even more of a flap. Has anyone else had any similar problems on lessons? how many lessons did it take people before it 'clicked' as people say it does?

OP posts:

MrsMaturin · 13/05/2014 16:22

You need a new instructor!

GingerRodgers · 13/05/2014 16:24

Yep, had one lesson exactly the same. Had to stop talking to the instructor as I was in tears. Asked to go home early.
Wa just a bad day!
Have a and next week will be loads better. I'm a bit at your instructor though, not very professional.

Dropdeadfred2 · 13/05/2014 16:24

you are paying for instruction not humiliation!! Change instructors

MarysDressSways1 · 13/05/2014 16:24

Really, don't worry. It's nerve wracking to begin with and it is still very early days for you! If you would feel more comfortable with another instructor, swap if you are able.

If you can get insured on anyone else's car for a day (offer to pay etc), do that and drive around a deserted industrial estate at a weekend (what I did!) with them to get the basics of the controls.

YellowStripe · 13/05/2014 16:24

Firstly I think you need a hug different instructor!

My daughter is just learning - I think she went through a similar dip on her third-ish lesson, talked about giving up, then had a great next lesson. But she has a lovely instructor

Sort out a new driving school with more empathetic instructors and you'll be fine.

eurochick · 13/05/2014 16:24

Change instructors. He sounds awful.

MrsMaturin · 13/05/2014 16:24

I can't remember how long it took to click but my wonderful instructor never once made me feel crap. Yours should never have told you somebody behind was annoyed. Who the hell cares if the driver behind needs to work on their patience!

Binkyresurrected · 13/05/2014 16:25

An instructor that gets frustrated and snappy is not a good instructor, get another one.

Also I think most people when learning anything have days when it seems that all they have learnt has left their brains.

DonaldWheres · 13/05/2014 16:25

Ditch the instructor. If he can't sense that his humourous remarks are winding you up then he's not a good instructor. Honestly you need to feel encouraged at this stage. Maybe you need to take it more slowly. Every learner is different and if he was genuinely winding you up about holding someone up behind then he's a charlatan, and as for getting snappy? I would really advise you try and find someone else before you waste any more money.

Redcoats · 13/05/2014 16:25

I think your main problem is a crap instructor.

If you don't understand what he's telling you, then he isn't explaining it properly. I'd look around for someone else if I were you.

fwiw, i regularly drive halfway down the street with the handbrake on and I passed my test 20 years ago.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 13/05/2014 16:26

I cried after my first driving lesson. But I can drive - just kept telling myself that some really stupid people I knew could drive so I must be able to.

Your instructor sounds like a right tw£$. Find someone more gentle.

HappyMummyOfOne · 13/05/2014 16:26

You need a new instructor! I recently relied solely on lessons and it took about 15 to click and many more after to practice and learn the extras. My instructor was amazing and without her i would have given up. She never once shouted, made me feel embarrased or silly. She must have the patience of a saint.

ComposHat · 13/05/2014 16:26

Third lesdon seems absurdly early to be negotiating a busy town centre and your instructor's attitude seems appalling.

Ditch.

FunkyBarnYardBroom · 13/05/2014 16:27

Get the right instructor for you. Ditch this one please!

Reenskar · 13/05/2014 16:27

If your instructor is making you feel uncomfortable, I'd just get rid and find someone who put me at ease. It is normal to make mistakes and get flustered when you're a learner and it doesn't help when other drivers get frustrated. Every other driver was a learner once so just ignore them and focus on taking it one step at a time. You'll get the hang of it in no time.

I went through four instructors before I found one that I liked and who got me through my test

Ewieindwie1 · 13/05/2014 16:28

The instructor doesn't sound at all helpful. Mine was calm and quiet and utterly reassuring. I don't like the sound of him pushing you; he's in a position of huge responsibility and he doesn't sound very professional. Don't be downhearted. If my mum could learn to drive at 42 you can definitely succeed!

PoundingTheStreets · 13/05/2014 16:28

Change instructors. He sounds very unprofessional.

IME having a disastrous lesson is a very normal rite of passage when learning to drive. It happens to most of us, and lesson three of four is a typical time when that would happen. It's because your brain-body co-ordination falls apart as you try to bring everything you've learned together and it actually means that you are learning. Provided you don't completely lose your confidence as a result of it, you will almost certainly find that your next lesson is much, much better.

Your instructor's job is not only to recognise when you are ready for a change of pace but to deal with inevitable 'bad day' as it happens. He has done neither.

Good luck and don't give up.

QuietNinjaTardis · 13/05/2014 16:28

Change your Instructor! He sounds like a knob. Every learner has lessons like that, I certainly did when I was learning. My sil when she had passed her test kept forgetting to put the hand brake down in her new car! It's only your third lesson, give yourself a break. You will get there I promise. I'm sure it'd not too early

orangepudding · 13/05/2014 16:29

Agree that you need a new instructor.

I was hopeless. My instructor drove me to a quiet estate for the first few lessons. I had many lesson, over 80 and it was hard work but I got there in the end. My instructor was really patient and taught two of my friends to drive too.

Where do you live, someone may be able to recommend a good instructor.

ConferencePear · 13/05/2014 16:29

Get a new instructor and remember that most people learning to drive will have an experience a bit like yours at some point.
Mine happened just when I thought I was getting the hang of it .........
Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.

Scarletohello · 13/05/2014 16:29

Def get a new instructor!

Also have you considered driving an automatic? One less thing to think about..,

ProfYaffle · 13/05/2014 16:29

I agree, change instructors. Whenever you learn anything new I think it's common to have a couple of lessons, feel like you're getting the hang of it then no 3 is a disaster. It's just part of the learning process. If your instructor doesn't understand that he's not worth handing money over to.

Stepawayfromthezebras · 13/05/2014 16:29

I'm with everyone else on the instructor! Your first lessons will be difficult and cringy, it took me ages to learn how to steer in a straight line! That's why you're in a car plastered with L plates and driving school decals. So other drivers realise you're going to be bobbins. And other motorists really don't mind being held up by a learner, we've all been there

I can't remember when it clicked for me but it was a lot later than the third lesson! And the biggest lightbulb moment for me was when I realised I didn't need to rush. The calmer and slower you take everything, the faster you'll progress. Please ask for a new instructor, it'll make the world of difference. And good luck!

ToFollowJulie · 13/05/2014 16:31

I think everyone goes through stages where you feel as if you've forgotten it all and then it all comes together.

I struggled with driving as a teenager and put it off, but when I lived somewhere where it was worth driving I decided to learn on an intensive course. I found a good instructor, booked a test, and then he would pick me up from work a couple of times a week and I'd drive home. Other days he'd pick me up from home and I'd drive to work, and at the weekends we'd practise manoeuvres. I passed in the third week. I think it was good because I didn't have time to forget all that I'd learned in between lessons and I also knew my route to work really well so it was easy once I'd passed.

Amy106 · 13/05/2014 16:31

You can do this. All you need is a patient and professional instructor and time to practise. Good luck!

Flip

1 2 3 4