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Original poster

To be so upset about abortion protesters?

179 replies

CundtBake · 13/05/2014 16:06

I have posted a few times about my pregnancy and my decision to have an abortion. I had medical treatment a few weeks ago that didn't work, and I had to return to the clinic today.

I've been an emotional wreck ever since I found out I was pregnant, it's not a decision I have taken lightly at all and the fact that my first treatment was unsuccessful has made it all the more traumatic.

On my way in today I was faced with protestors holding up huge pictures of unborn babies, shouting at me that my baby has a heartbeat and stuff like that. By the time I got into the clinic I was sobbing and haven't stopped.

My situation probably isn't an unusual one, it hasn't been easy and I will probably always feel guilty and upset. I feel so violated that these people think it's appropriate to make me feel worse, to judge me for a situation I assume they haven't been in (especially since a lot of them were men).

I then also thought, what about girls and women who have been raped? What about girls who have been abused and are way too young to carry out a pregnancy let alone give birth? How can they justify what they are doing without knowing every single persons situation walking into that clinic?

Their pictures are still haunting me. I just don't understand how people can do that and think it's ok. I understand everyone has their views on abortion which they are entitled to. But to actively go out and try to distress people like that, how can they think that's ok?

OP posts:
avianaz · 14/05/2014 11:43

I live in a place where abortion is illegal, so I had to have pills sent to me. I hated kids, am just one of those people who just wasn't very maternal. But in the waiting for the pill to arrive I found myself coming down with lovely warm, happy feelings. When the pills eventually came it was the hardest thing in the world to take that first one.

So how much harder is it for those who have to walk past those sociopathic protesters.

How the HELL is it not illegal.

dawndonnaagain · 14/05/2014 12:33

Thanks Kate.

MoominAndMiniMoom · 14/05/2014 12:41

I would definitely support some kind of nationwide clinic escort service, and would volunteer for it too.

jellybeans · 14/05/2014 12:41

jelly I agree but I do think we have to be careful to not cast a theme of 'abortions due to bad things are OK, abortions due to contraception failure or because you simply made a mistake and don't want to be pregnant aren't'. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, I just mean it's important to say it is OK to have an abortion for any reason, at any time (subject to the law, of course). No guilt, no shame.

I agree with you WilsonFrickett wasn't my intention to make out only abortion for the above acceptable. Just wanted to point out that being 'pro life' is easy to be when you haven't been faced with the above. I agree with you that abortion for any reason should be down to each women full stop.

workhouse · 14/05/2014 18:50

I would volunteer too, I am in London,

I had a good search on the internet last time there was a thread about protesters, about three weeks ago, and I couldn't find anyone organising it in the U.K. Reading stories about what they are allowed to get away with in the States though is absolutely shocking.

dawndonnaagain · 14/05/2014 18:51

I too would volunteer.

Original poster
CundtBake · 14/05/2014 20:16

I'd volunteer too. Wouldn't want anyone else going through that.

OP posts:
Original poster
CundtBake · 14/05/2014 20:17

(But I might find it hard not to shout at these 'protestors')

OP posts:
ravenAK · 14/05/2014 20:30

I'd volunteer too.

Glad sassysally has been suspended.

Hope it was on a windowcleaner's cradle over a cliff & every seagull in 5 miles is crapping on her head.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2014 20:48

From my regular email update from Abortion Rights about a local group being set up in Cardiff:

"Abortion Rights Cardiff formed primarily in response to 40 Days For Life picketing the BPAS clinic in Cardiff in March 2013. Abortion Rights Cardiff came together out of a shared concern for clinic patients and staff being harassed on a daily basis. While smaller in number, 40 DFL have again been picketing clinics in 2014."

So people are organising against these pernicious zealots, thank goodness.

MyrtleDove · 14/05/2014 21:05

That's good to know, Surburban. I would volunteer if there was one near me (I am in East Mids).

PacificDogwood · 14/05/2014 21:05

Oh gosh, yes, I'd be part of an escort as well.

Nobody is saying that somebody who has not been pregnant or who has not had children, does not have a right to an opinion on the very emotive subject of termination of pregnancy. But some opinions are worth keeping to oneself, particularly in some situations. Like, oh, dunno, when discussion painful choices that a pregnant mother might make.

IME often the same bigots who chant 'every sperm is sacred' and 'life begins at conception' are the ones who are all for enforced contraception for people with LD and are absolutely vicious about non-conventional families who they see as having no right to procreate Angry

Your body, your choice. My body, my choice. It really is as simple as that.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/05/2014 21:45

myrtle, you can contact Abortion Rights for ideas about campaigning if there isn't a local group near you.

And to a PP who said this has nothing to do with religion, read this . The reference to "secular press" in the item about the Cardiff group would be funny if it wasn't so deluded.

scundered · 15/05/2014 15:33

My heart goes out to anyone in a difficult position when pregnant and of course to the op.

Please don't assume though that all the protesters are hateful people wanting to make life worse for the pregnant mother. They aren't.

Many are there to try and show mothers that it isn't the only way and also the reality of what takes place in these clinics. I know all situations are different. And difficult.

When they are praying, often it's for the comfort of the mother and her safety. Not all are judgemental zealots who don't give a shit about the woman.

Many I know have gone to great lengths to help mothers who didn't go through with the abortion and also those who have.

The anger towards those with a different opinion is unnecessary. I see and hear things all the time which upset me/are against my moral beliefs. It doesn't make me want a ban on free speech. I would never condone the harassment of any mother going to a clinic.

HavantGuard · 15/05/2014 15:38

Bullshit.

pommedeterre · 15/05/2014 15:39

They don't know the mother why pray for her?

She may not be religious and almost definitely doesn't want their prayers.

I would bet every woman entering those clinics knows it's nt the only way.

Why not go and find a child in need of help that's alive and help it?

You cannot defend misogyny and imposing behaviors however you dress them up.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 15/05/2014 15:47

What do you mean the 'reality' of what goes on in these clinics?

Do you think that women who have abortions don't know what happens and what the procedure is? Do you not think that many of them have had a hard enough time making that decision without it being shoved in their faces as they go in? Attempting to make them feel worse is an insensitive and horrible thing to do.

scundered · 15/05/2014 15:48

Why pray for someone you don't know?

I imagine out of compassion for a fellow human being who is suffering.

I can't change your mind and I have no desire to do so. I'm only asking you to consider that a majority of protesters/pro lifers don't have a sole objective of hurting anyone.

Perhaps they care about them. You don't have to know someone to care about them or show love

TheCowThatLaughs · 15/05/2014 15:51

Why not stay at home and pray then, scundered??

scundered · 15/05/2014 15:55

Yeah thecowthatlaughs, I'm sure many people do. There have been cases though where the ladies going into the clinics sought the help of the protesters who were able to offer emotional and practical support

TheCowThatLaughs · 15/05/2014 15:56

And does that outweigh the cases of all the women who have made a decision to end their pregnancy being harassed by a load of layabouts outside the clinic?

pommedeterre · 15/05/2014 16:17

The women have not asked for their 'care' and 'prayers' therefore it is imposing and awful.

No you will not change my mind.

Compassion my arse.

Trinovantes · 15/05/2014 16:20

Scundered, you have come on a thread where a woman has talked very clearly about the harrassment she suffered from these people, and the distress it caused her, and you have the nerve to come here and describe what they do as "comfort"?

OnlyLovers · 15/05/2014 16:36

I'm not sure about escorts. I think the protestors need to be sorted out rather than the women using the service protected. To my mind having escorts is a bit like the 'don't wear a short skirt or walk down dark streets' position on avoiding rape.

There was a thread a while ago where the idea was raised of this kind of protest being akin to behaviour that incites hatred –in this case hatred of women –and therefore that perhaps it should be illegal. I probably agree.

Of course, if any woman having to face these people outside a clinic benefitted from some moral support and a physical barrier against them, in the shape of a compassionate, arse-kicking volunteer, that wouldn't be a bad thing. I just think I'd rather get rid of the problem than women having to deal with it.

OP, hope you're feeling better soon. Thanks

workhouse · 15/05/2014 17:04

While the protesters are legally allowed to protest so close to a clinic, and in some cases getting in the way of women trying to enter a clinic, I do think there is a need for escorts.

It's offering support, not all women have real life people to accompany them to clinics. A friendly face, and someone on their side that supports their decision without knowing anything about them. No arse-kicking would be required, just calm determination and no engaging.