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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be so upset about abortion protesters?

179 replies

CundtBake · 13/05/2014 16:06

I have posted a few times about my pregnancy and my decision to have an abortion. I had medical treatment a few weeks ago that didn't work, and I had to return to the clinic today.

I've been an emotional wreck ever since I found out I was pregnant, it's not a decision I have taken lightly at all and the fact that my first treatment was unsuccessful has made it all the more traumatic.

On my way in today I was faced with protestors holding up huge pictures of unborn babies, shouting at me that my baby has a heartbeat and stuff like that. By the time I got into the clinic I was sobbing and haven't stopped.

My situation probably isn't an unusual one, it hasn't been easy and I will probably always feel guilty and upset. I feel so violated that these people think it's appropriate to make me feel worse, to judge me for a situation I assume they haven't been in (especially since a lot of them were men).

I then also thought, what about girls and women who have been raped? What about girls who have been abused and are way too young to carry out a pregnancy let alone give birth? How can they justify what they are doing without knowing every single persons situation walking into that clinic?

Their pictures are still haunting me. I just don't understand how people can do that and think it's ok. I understand everyone has their views on abortion which they are entitled to. But to actively go out and try to distress people like that, how can they think that's ok?

OP posts:
x2boys · 13/05/2014 21:59

I am so sorry op I have not seen your previous threads but whatever the reason you are having a termination it can't be easy and protestors should not be allowed to make you feel this way my thoughts are with you.x

TitusFlavius · 13/05/2014 22:01

windchime take your sanctimonious arguments elsewhere. This is a support thread, not one in which to make your ill-informed assumptions about other women, or start an intellectual debate. This is a real woman's life we are talking about, someone who has already been upset.

CundtBake sorry, there's always one like that. Big support to you, and have some more flowers. Thanks Thanks

sassysally · 13/05/2014 22:02

This reply has been deleted

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roguenight · 13/05/2014 22:02

It must have been hard but this country is a democracy and they are entitled to protest

PacificDogwood · 13/05/2014 22:05

sassysally as you sound like you don't approve of termination, don't have one.
Other than that, this is not the place to air your views, just as a termination clinic is not the place to democratically protest about them either.

This IS entirely about Cundtbake, it is about her.

goodasitgets · 13/05/2014 22:05

So sassysally what do you propose women do then that can't continue with the pregnancy? Or women that are raped?
In fact you don't even have to answer that because it's a completely inappropriate thread to post what you posted

Shallishanti · 13/05/2014 22:08

particularly cruel and thoughtless post sassysally which I have reported
if you really want a debate about women's reproductive rights, go elsewhere for it

sassysally · 13/05/2014 22:09

aibu is a debating board

goodasitgets · 13/05/2014 22:10

You can debate and be thoughtful to other people's feelings, the two aren't mutually exclusive

basgetti · 13/05/2014 22:10

Well done sassysally for demonstrating live on this thread the mentality of the protestors. Ignorant arseholes who are obsessed with the fetus and couldn't give a shit about the distress they cause to the woman going through it.

foslady · 13/05/2014 22:10

Sassysally why do you think women have terminations?

I hope to God no close member of your family are ever in the OP's position and having to have a procedure. It's bad enough having it with your kind of help

PacificDogwood · 13/05/2014 22:11

There is debate and then there's emotional assault Hmm

Shallishanti · 13/05/2014 22:12

maybe don't engage with sassysally? s/he will only come back with more crap and it doesn't help OP

kali110 · 13/05/2014 22:17

Im so so sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine how you must have felt.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 13/05/2014 22:17

CB I am sorry you had to face protesters, both on the street and now on this thread.

You have done nothing wrong. Abortion is entirely the choice of the woman, with input from her partner if she wants, and if the choice is right for you, then it is right. You are making one of the hardest decisions, and it does not need to be made harder by other people.

I wish you courage. Which sounds odd, but I can't articulate it any better.

busyboysmum · 13/05/2014 22:18

I just wanted to post to support you. We live opposite what must be a clinic but I didn't realise until last week when we were going out one day and drove past a whole load of this idiots with their stupid placards. It got me so mad I wanted to beep at them but dh said they might think we were beeping in support.

All I could think about was what a terrible thing it is to have to go through and probably one of the worst days of a woman's life and to then have to encounter these stupid stupid smug people who just have no idea what they are on about. Abortions are not something women have lightly, there is a whole backstory that they know nothing about that has brought the woman to make that decision about her body that it is the best option for her. It is none of anyone else's business.

Do they really think that the world is so empty that we want to bring unwanted children into it? Surely there are better things they could spend their energy on.

It got me so mad, I am so sorry you had to go through this.

dawndonnaagain · 13/05/2014 22:18

aibu is a debating board
I'll debate the merits of you fucking right off. Hmm

Finney2 · 13/05/2014 22:19

OP what a horrendous thing to have to go through.

FWIW I'm not pro-choice and I'm a Catholic but I don't know any people who would even think about protesting outside abortion clinics. In fact, a true Christian would only feel ashamed and saddened that you had to face such a vile group of people in order to do something that in itself was upsetting for you.

The pictures are definitely photoshopped too, for maximum 'impact'.

I hope you are feeling a bit better now x

Wantsunshine · 13/05/2014 22:23

The type that stand outside and protest are just not normal. Hope all went well for you and you can relax and know you did what is right for you.
How do these people have the time to spend rather than contributing to society is beyond me. Wouldn't their time be better spend at a dementia unit to befriend or pretty much anything else.

kali110 · 13/05/2014 22:24

Reported too. Even if i didn't agree with op's decision i would never have been as cruel to put something so horrible and inappropriate.

TheBabyFacedAssassin · 13/05/2014 22:27

Fucking hell sassy, you really are a piece of work.

kali110 · 13/05/2014 22:29

Finney :-) nice post

CundtBake · 13/05/2014 22:34

Ugh wish I hadn't read sassys post.

And to clarify, I am not using abortion 'as contraception'.

Thank you everyone else for support.

OP posts:
TheBabyFacedAssassin · 13/05/2014 22:37

Ignore sassy. And you never have to justify your decision to anyone. You made the right decision for you and that is what matters. You are in my thoughts xxx

WaitingForMe · 13/05/2014 22:39

I don't believe I could abort a child no matter how conceived but I would fight without hesitation for any other woman to make that choice safely and without duress.

Because my feelings on abortion are simply my feelings. The right to determine what happens to ones own body is bigger than that. For an equal and fair society, safe and supported abortion must be an option (regardless of whether you personally would take it).

I like the idea of the exclusion zones. And I'm actually pretty angry over this thread. Has anyone (MNHQ?) any ideas on how we could help make that happen?