To be so upset about abortion protesters?

[CundtBake]

I have posted a few times about my pregnancy and my decision to have an abortion. I had medical treatment a few weeks ago that didn't work, and I had to return to the clinic today.

I've been an emotional wreck ever since I found out I was pregnant, it's not a decision I have taken lightly at all and the fact that my first treatment was unsuccessful has made it all the more traumatic.

On my way in today I was faced with protestors holding up huge pictures of unborn babies, shouting at me that my baby has a heartbeat and stuff like that. By the time I got into the clinic I was sobbing and haven't stopped.

My situation probably isn't an unusual one, it hasn't been easy and I will probably always feel guilty and upset. I feel so violated that these people think it's appropriate to make me feel worse, to judge me for a situation I assume they haven't been in (especially since a lot of them were men).

I then also thought, what about girls and women who have been raped? What about girls who have been abused and are way too young to carry out a pregnancy let alone give birth? How can they justify what they are doing without knowing every single persons situation walking into that clinic?

Their pictures are still haunting me. I just don't understand how people can do that and think it's ok. I understand everyone has their views on abortion which they are entitled to. But to actively go out and try to distress people like that, how can they think that's ok?

I'm so sorry
I wrote this a while ago (taken from a blog piece I wrote) and it kind of sums up how I feel about them

I don’t even know how to start this. I read some things on twitter tonight that really upset me. I believe in choice. Choice regarding a woman’s fertility. People who are against abortion rage at women to not have one. Where are these people after they’ve persuaded the woman to not have one? Are they helping her practically, financially, emotionally? No. Of course they aren’t! They have done “their job” and can pat themselves on the back for “saving a foetus” never mind what that child’s life will actually be like. Or the mothers
I admit, I thought termination was, well not easy, but not hard as such if you had made your decision
Let me tell you, obviously it’s individual but it can be one of the hardest things you can ever do, and these protesters have no idea why or how you have come to that decision.

CundtBake - dear god, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. What a shower of turds the people are that do these protests. They don't give a shit about actual people, actual babies or women, just their bloody zealotry.

I'm so sorry you had to endure that. In the UK they're not supposed to speak to you - maybe call the clinic and let them know what's happened?

I know in the US some clinics have people who act as escorts for women having abortions to support and protect them from anti-choice protestors - does that happen here at all? I would be interested in doing that.

As a Christian and a pro-choice woman I am horrified and ashamed that 'Christians' can be so cruel as to target vulnerable women.

What one needs to do is to walk up to these MEN and say- oh, I see where you're coming from. You're obviously feel yourself to be in a position to comment, could you help me by telling me what you decided to do when you were pregnant? And I'm sure you'll give me your home address so I can drop the newborn I cannot look after over to yours, can't I?... Oh, hang on.

As far as religion is concerned, I see these people as being no different than the taliban, imposing their ignorant, ill-educated views on others as, in themselves, they have no other way of controlling people; people look down their noses at them because they are maggots; lowlife; so they will grasp onto whatever they can to try and validate their impotence and to try and inject some meaning into their meaningless lives.

Ignore, for they are NOTHING. And never will be.

For the record, I am not a cheer leader for abortion when it's used for casual birth control but I utterly uphold the right of any woman to choose to have an abortion because it's her bloody body!

Myrtle - the religious jibe wasn't aimed at you. Your Christian views seem to be those of compassion and understanding! I salute you.

Tansie That sounds good but you can't reason with ignorance and hatred - whichever shape body it's in, and it seems some were female. Women in OP's position need help to get in and out past them without suffering further upset than they are already undergoing.

Stories like this make me think we need compulsory 100 yard exclusion zones outside clinics with no protests allowed in those zones. There is no point treating these people as if they were just peaceful protesters, they are there to harass and upset people and they need to be told to back off - literally.

Agree Pointythings except that there are some who would ignore it and try to go to prison as martyrs. Then what?

Maybe you need to get a politician involved? (a sympathetic one, obviously)

The protestors at a local clinic have mysteriously disappeared following a local politician's partner needing to access their services.

I'd suggest massive fines, only unpleasant people like Christian Voice would fundraise and pay them... Maybe humiliating community service?

I was very pro-choice until I worked on a gynae ward and watched women having terminations purely as a method of birth control. Surely there is enough contraception out there for educated women, who are choosing to have intercourse, to actually stop conception? Or am I missing something

Stop stirring, Windchime.

If you worked on a gynae ward, you clearly know very well the failure % of all forms of contraception (bar abstinence!) and I would imagine treated rape victims too. This isn't the thread to poke a big stick into deliberately.

Stop trying to derail the thread, windchime - this is about the OP's feelings of being harassed over the legitimate choice she made.

windchime, that's a debate for somewhere else- these people deliberately set out to cause distress to OP and others using the clinic
very sorry you had to go through this- maybe take comfort from the fact that most rational people support your right to make the best decision for you?
- even

yes you are missing quite a lot windchime.

You either think abortion is a right or you don't. Do you think there are good women and bad women and only you can tell who the good ones are who have a good enough reason for abortion?

Personally I think any woman who chooses to terminate rather than to be a suboptimal parent to a child she doesn't want is a bloody heroine. Choosing not to be a bad mother - that's the sort of decision that makes me feel proud of humankind.

oh and OP I'm sorry to have got diverted from your thread which I opened because I have been through the same experience (16 weeks, TFMR, encountered protesters outside the clinic). It was very upsetting but now I look back (it was several years ago) and I am fully at peace with my decision and those people seem irrelevant to me now. You did what was right for you, whatever your reasons. I haven't seen your other threads and don't need to.

I sound like a ridiculous hippy but you can let those people go - they are nothing to you, they know nothing about you, they are silly, sanctimonious and unkind to people who could do with some kindness at this point in their lives. Wishing you peace and healing.

you're missing some empathy, windychime. Bog off and find an argument somewhere else.

just to be clear, I was referring in my first post to the women using terminations as a form of birth control, not cundt. Sorry OP - got too cross with windchime to write thoughtfully. I do apologise if that read as if it was to you.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Be kind to yourself

Oh gosh op. YADNBU. Absolutely stupid, cruel, hideous people. I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Ignore it, the world is full of all sorts, not all nice or understanding, or fair. Or kind. I offer my online support and I wish you support and healing. And happiness.

windchime how insensitive are you?
Why don't you start another thread instead of peddling your sanctimonious views on a thread where it is clear the OP needs support?

Aw, Cundtbake, I am so sorry you had to be confronted by that particular brand of self-satisfied vileness when you are already going through such a difficult and heart-breaking situation. I hope you are ok and that the rest of your treatment will go smoothly.

I cannot help but hope that you are not in the UK, because I've always associated this vileness with religious zealots and nutters, the vast majority of which, like you say, have never been in a similar situation.

I've already stated that I'm not 'happy' with abortion being used as birth control, but the fact remains, it absolutely, has to remain the choice of the pregnant woman whether she chooses to terminate or not, regardless of the circumstances of the conception.

We can help, guide and educate, but at the end of the day, a civilised society cannot and should not dictate what happens to another person's body.

windchime, you are missing that this thread was started by an upset and traumatised woman and not as an intellectual exercise about the pros and cons of termination of pregnancy. Read the OP. Apologise if you have the spine to do so. FGS.

cundt I'm sorry you had to go through that. Abortion protestors are a special kind of horrible person.