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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel uncomfortable - additional parking permit

128 replies

ParkingPermitWoes · 13/05/2014 14:07

Name changed for this and it could out me!

DBIL is in the process of buying a campervan and has said that we can use it whenever we want to. Lovely, except that I dont think well use it a huge amount as we're not great campers (and we've just had a new baby) but great to have the offer there of course.

DBIL came over last night and talk turns to where it will be kept. It transpires that he is looking at keeping it in storage for around four months of the year in storage and then outside our house for the rest of the year (including during summer time).

There are practical reasons why he can't keep it outside his place and he lives about 30 minutes from us.

It's been stressed that he would pay for all the running costs and that we wouldnt have to contribute at all, just petrol etc when we used it. We are in the middle of town so have parking restrictions and so it would need a permit. It was casually thrown in that this would mean that it needed to be registered in our names. If we do that then we have to be the registered owners and then the insurance, MOT, tax etc will all be in our names. I dont really want to do that to be honest if he has an accident in it then while we wont lose our no-claims bonus if I'm right then I think our premiums could be affected?

Also, I just dont want to be responsible for another vehicle and it will be our fault if its not taxed or insured etc. I suspect DBIL is just as disorganised as my DP when it comes to paperwork so yet another thing for me to be responsible for and worry about.

I feel really uncomfortable with it. But I dont know though whether Im being unfair and should just go ahead with it or say no. If we say no then for other reasons I don't want to go into it will be difficult for him to get it and keep it.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 14/05/2014 00:21

What kind of weird family is this where you can't just say 'no' to a request that impinges on YOUR time and YOUR resources but have to come back with a fully referenced rationale including points of law?

They sound a nightmare tbh and it's a bit odd you're giving into them.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 14/05/2014 00:28

Why is it in your name not DP's, if this has to be done at all (which I don't think it should)?

ZenNudist · 14/05/2014 00:29

Practise putting your foot down OP. This is a stupid plan that's going to be one more headache for years to come for little or no benefit.

I'd say its a shame your dh's family are horrible but worth pissing them off on this occasion.

OddFodd · 14/05/2014 05:35

Someone on my street leaves their ugly campervan parked outside my house rather than their own all year round and it really pisses me off. Don't do it if you value your relationship with your neighbours

angelohsodelight · 14/05/2014 05:55

The insurance thing is illegal. Parking is a bugger in my road and if you parked a campervan for 8 months I would be very peed off. never underestimate peoples feelings when parking is concerned !

MinesAPintOfTea · 14/05/2014 06:33

Will he drive to you when wanting to take it out? Where will he leave his car and how many of your guest passes will that use up if he's going away every other weekend?

KatieKaye · 14/05/2014 06:43

Presumably your street has permits because parking isn't plentiful?
One thing a resident having a campervan parked there, different when it is a non-resident and could really piss neighbours off if it's taking up a space and a resident cannot park.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/05/2014 07:02

Unless I've missed the reason why it can't be in your DH's name, why is this decision falling to you? If you make it absolutely clear that you will be having nothing whatsoever to do with it, then it's up to him to help his brother/sort it all out/have the points on his license/pay fines etc.

Sounds to me like he expects you to be the one to do the donkey work and be the grown up.

It seems a stupid plan to me, but if he wants to do it, tell him it'll all be his responsibility - and stick to it.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/05/2014 07:12

And make it clear that any financial hit will have to come out of his personal money not family money.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 14/05/2014 07:22

So you're considering it now? Why can't you just say no?

winklewoman · 14/05/2014 07:28

Dumpylump, not a thick query at all. Council regulations very hugely. Our 'main' council just allocates one permit per household plus books of scratchcards for visitors in periods varying from two hours to a week. When they are used up I think you can buy more (we have our own ample parking so not sure). This would not work for a permanently parked extra car.
On the other hand we have another house in another city and there you have to be on the Council Tax register and prove your car is your own and registered to that address. However they give you one extra permit for visitors which only runs out when the main one does. Maybe the OP's system is like this.

Bunbaker · 14/05/2014 07:41

Another point is that if the camper van is outside your house for most of the year it will be a clear indicator to burglars that you are away when the van isn't there.

Andrewofgg · 14/05/2014 08:31

Never seen such a unanimous response!

Tell BIL No (and tell MIL to MHOB) and mean it. Quite apart from the legalities it's never sensible to leave neighbours feeling rightly pissed off - you may need them one day.

Best of luck.

Andrewofgg · 14/05/2014 08:32

Never seen such a unanimous response!

Tell BIL No (and tell MIL to MHOB) and mean it. Quite apart from the legalities it's never sensible to leave neighbours feeling rightly pissed off - you may need them one day.

Best of luck.

squirrel996 · 14/05/2014 08:34

The insurance could still be in his name even if you are the registered owner.

Shewhowines · 14/05/2014 08:37

You neighbours might be nice and not say anything but I can 100% guarantee that they won't be happy about a high sided vehicle being outside their house permanently/regularly. Most wouldn't be happy about a regular car being there that often.

squirrel996 · 14/05/2014 08:41

My car was registered in dh's name by the garage by mistake. It was my car and nothing to do with him! The insurance was arranged by me for me to be the main driver and him as a named driver. It's certainly not illegal!

Bunbaker · 14/05/2014 08:42

It never fails to surprise me at how bad some people are at standing up to their families. Or how unreasonable some families can be.

Our families aren't problem free - we have to deal with illness, alcoholism and dementia, but we don't have unreasonable expectations put on us by either family, and do what we can to help.

emms1981 · 14/05/2014 08:51

I used to live in an area where it was permit parking, I think it was something like £20 for a year and I used to get a bit peed off that one house had 2 vans and the woman next door but one let her b.f park outside ours 90% of the time with no permit and so we could hardly ever park in our street.

AMumInScotland · 14/05/2014 09:34

There are certainly ways of doing it that are legal, so long as you are completely above board with the insurers etc.

But it's still a bad idea, and it's still crap that your DH is pushing you to agree to this when it sounds like you're making it clear you aren't happy about it.

You are making that perfectly clear to him, aren't you?

If your DH is determined to placate his brother over his wife, then I think you need to put your foot down very firmly and say "I am not going to have anything to do with this crappy idea. If you are prepared to do all the paperwork, and take all the consequences if it goes pear-shaped, that's up to you. But don't expect me to get involved." And repeat to him, to his brother, and to anyone else who is putting their oar in, as often as required.

BIL asked a favour. You are perfectly entitled to say "No" without having to justify why you choose not to do him this favour.

SisterMoonshine · 14/05/2014 09:43

You'll be like your BIL's secretary, chasing him up for money and paperwork when they're due. It'll be too easy for him to forget with it all being addressed to you.

ParkingPermitWoes · 14/05/2014 09:43

OK, thanks again all, some things to think about there.

I'm happy to stand up to them and say no - just wanted a feel as to whether I was being reasonable or not (pick your battles and all that). I've absolutely stated that it will not be in my name. I've checked with the Council and we can have 1 permit in one name so it can't be in my name anyway as our car is registered to me and the current permit it my name.

So, if DP wants to go ahead with it I've made it clear that it's not my responsibility, he will have to sort it all out with his DB - paperwork for the permit, payment for insurance, tax etc and deal with any correspondence that comes through the door - nothing to do with me. Given DP not that great with on-line banking and I'm convinced he'll manage to be honest...

His family are not "horrible" as someone above suggested. They are all quite close and help each other out a lot in so many ways. If MIL lived closer then I have no doubt that this is something she would do for any of her children (if legal that is). I guess that's why I wanted to make sure that I wasn't be unreasonable...

Of course I'm not wanting to do anything illegal, I would absolutely state that if DP goes ahead with this then he has to clearly tell the insurance company that while the campervan registered in his name that his DB is the main driver.

I am still worried about the parking situation though, I agree with those posters who have raised concerns on this - not great.

Anyway, he hasn't bought it yet and is going to have another look at it next week I think. I've said to DP to make it clear that DBIL can't buy it on the assumption that it WILL be kept at ours. If we (or he) can help out, great, but not to make that assumption. If it has a negative impact on our own car insurance (i.e. if there is an accident in the campervan then our premiums or no-claims affected) then DP has categorically said that it's a no.

Phew - all this talk about campervans has made me want to go camping now!!!

OP posts:
ParkingPermitWoes · 14/05/2014 09:46

MuminScotland - yes I've made it clear that I'm not happy about it but he thinks I'm being "negative" and seeing all the pessimistic things about it. He's not concerned about the parking situation. I think he sometimes feels a bit pressured to avoid confrontation and could be that he doesn't feel like he can say no and so being a bit defensive with me - not sure.

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 14/05/2014 09:54

It is fraud and will piss your neighbours off, who'll probably report.
We have tight parking here, residents permits and visitors permits etc.
As there is also a hospital close by the council check who is registered at each address and have been known to call and check.
They carry afine of 1k for fraud and they can take you to court.
You need to tell the family this and ask who will pay and if bil is happy to risk a criminal record.

Shewhowines · 14/05/2014 09:57

There may well be some confrontation with the neighbours at some point, unless you regularly move it about, so you piss off a load of them rather than just one or two.

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