To think all the best and most precious times have gone?

[Neverwasacornflakegirl]

My friend had a baby this morning and whilst I'm pleased for her it's bittersweet because my own ds is nearly 5 and we can't have anymore children.
All those early days are so precious and all those milestones -first smile, first word, first steps, the simple joy small children have.

I feel like all the best times now with ds are over, already he wants to be with his friends rather than me and he is also going through a wearing phase (please god let it be a phase) of wanting to play fight all the time. All the magical times seem to have gone and there doesn't seem much left to look forward to.

Aibu to think basically the most special part of his childhood is gone?

I understand your sadness about not being able to have more dc, but your ds is only 5! You have years of happy times ahead.
Mine are 13 and 11 and although I am nostalgic for their baby cuteness, they're always my babies and are growing into fabulous young people.
Be excited for the person you're raising, not an ideal of cute babies to cuddle.

skinoncustard your post made me cry. I hope my two keep coming back to us when they're grown up.

Wilson has is exactly right when she says that it is up to you to create the special moments with your DS.

Your DS is still learning new things and having new experiences, there is nothing preventing you from taking joy from his achievements and watch with pride as he puts his new skills to good use.
I find it incredibly exciting to see my DCs growing up, to see who and what they will become.

YABU. My DS is 5 and it is a wonderful time. Sweet, lovely boy who gives me lots of cuddles and tells me all about his thoughts and dreams.

When they turn into teenagers, I'll be right here commiserating with you, though.

I think you are grieving about the fact you won't have another child. That's tough and needs to be acknowledged.

But don't distance yourself from your little boy due to that sadness. You and he have so much to look forward to.

You wait til you are chatting over a cup of tea at 1.00 in the morning with a gloriously serious teenager telling you how the world works....Just as heart melting as the first smiles.

I'm not having another one either, by the way thank heavens.

It's normal to feel pangs when a period of your life that has been happy ends. I felt this when I left home to go to university that my very happy childhood was over. Also when I left university and another happy period gone for good. At the risk of sounding hippyish life is a journey. If you had 8 kids eventually the youngest would turn 5 and you would be where you are now.

Also you are so needed. A friend of dds also 5 mother died 2 years ago. My friend had this child for tea yesterday out of nowhere she burst into tears and said "I just want my mum". Awful

Your feelings are never unreasonable.

To take them out on your son, your DH and even your friend would be very unreasonable. Why not look into some (further) counselling to be able to handle the grief of not having more, and then perhaps as has been said, would adoption or fostering be a suitable avenue for you?

Wilson has it. My DSs are 7 and 12, and the special moments are still coming all the time... interspersed by the mundane, the everyday, and - just occasionally - the frankly irritating.

Plenty of milestones to come, and that's a wonderful thing!

YABVU! I thought this was going go be about a child leaving home or something (though no reason why precious special times should end then). Your son is only 5! Make some precious times! He's a little person and there's nothing more wonderful than watching your child grow up, whatever age they are.

There are special moments at every stage you just have to embrace them. On bank holiday monday I will be taking my DD to see Fashion Rules at Kensington Palace and then to Fortnum and Mason's for tea. We are both looking forward to it enormously. I anticipate it being a day of many special moments.
Last Thursday my heart nearly burst with pride when she played her clarinet solo in a concert - special moment.

No!!! Absolutely not. My children are 10 and 11 and for me I think all the best times are AFTER about 4 or 5 - I'd have more children on the condition that they arrived ready to go to school! And they just keep getting better and better as they develop their own views and interests and can teach you something you don't already know.

Obviously we're all different. I'm actually quite envious of those who really revel in the baby/toddler stage as I never did. It's lovely to look back with some nostalgia at those precious early years. But it's quite another thing entirely to think that there isn't much to look forward to now and to let that affect your life and your family's. To be honest, if that's really how you feel, and it's not just a passing thought, then I think you should talk to a counselor or therapist as it really isn't how most people feel and it isn't good.

My older 2 are 7 and 6. I love watching their school plays/sports days. Letting them stay up to watch britains got talent and watching them dance along. Watching films that we all enjoy. There is so much to come.

I don't think the tough love stories of "don't you know how lucky you are" are actually any help whatsoever. I rather think the OP knows she is lucky to have a healthy child and to be alive to see him grow.

Wilson - sorry about your friend. That is terribly, terribly sad

Each new stage they go through is different and something to look forward to. Even though my boys are hitting the dreaded teenage years, there are still cherished moments, I find it fascinating watching their personalities develop, having a laugh with them, watching them grow into young adults.

Holding my first grandchild was pretty amazing :)

I agree with AtrociousCircumstance, the most special part of your ds' childhood is not gone, there are just as many wonderful times ahead.

This is not about your ds at all IMO, rather, it is all about grieving for the second child you couldn't have.

Thank you hmc

Believe me, don't be sad, the best is yet to come. Babyhood is a distant memory for my two and no way would I go back to those days of nappies, screaming and no sleep or time for me.

Each age has special times and memories. Learning to swim, to ride a bike, learning to read and write. School plays, developing interest and talents. Starting primary, starting secondary, exams, awards, proms, friends .

My eldest is nearly 18 about to do a levels. She got her school year book yesterday expressing her hopes and dreams for the future. When she leaves home for university it will be the end of an era but I know there will be more special times to come.

I know you're probably all right.
It's crazy because I actually found the baby and toddler years pretty tough, I think it's knowing I will never get those times again that makes it hard. I always thought I'd have more than one child. I constantly feel guilty that ds is an only one and hasn't got a playmate. I feel like I've let him down badly.

I can also feel myself withdrawing from ds because I feel like I'm going to lose him anyway. I feel like I've already lost him tbh. We don't seem to have anything in common.

Then make things in common.
He will adore spending time with you, having your full attention. I can 100% guarantee that you will have more in common with a verbal, curious, excited little boy who thinks you are the bees knees, than you ever did with a pre-verbal toddler.
Do you read together? Cook, go to the park, swim, does he help with chores? What do you do together that is fun?

I know it's hard please don't withdraw from him , the pp
Has some great ideas

Oh I think little boys are amazing at your ds age!