To think that if your feet are small enough to wear these shoes you are too young for high heels?

[unrulysun]

I saw these shoes in a branch of Monsoon today. I see plenty of things for little girls which make me roll my eyes but these actually made me stop and stare and then a few minutes later go back into the shop to talk to someone.

The heel on these is a good inch high. My DD is 3 and her feet are size 9. The ones I saw were in a size 7 which I think DD last had when she was 2. She’s not particularly enormous for her age so I think these shoes are definitely for 2 – 3 year olds. I don’t know what size they go down to. AIBU to think that a 2 or 3 year old shouldn’t be walking around in high heels? This isn’t wearing your mum’s high heels this is ‘these are your new shoes’.

And yy I know ‘you don’t need to buy them if you don’t want to’ and I won’t buy them. But I care about the little girls who they are bought for. I don’t think any little girl should be put into shoes like this. Frankly I’d be worried DD would twist an ankle in heels this high. She certainly wouldn’t be able to run or play. And I’m sad that these are on sale for little girls. Not in some weird online place but in a high street shop.

I’m going to complain to Monsoon. I would have liked to have given them the feedback instore today but the sales assistant shrugged and said ‘I’m just a sales assistant’ and the manager was ‘too busy’ to talk to –annoying people who think girls should be allowed to be children-- me.

Most teen bras do have a bit of thicker material or slight padding - this is generally to avoid having nipples showing through as many girls find this difficult/embarrassing. Growing boobs and nipples can also be a bit sore so the extra material helps to protect them.

Yes you can probably buy really thick padded ones but tbh ime they are few and far between - most are just slight padding (see above) and there are some with no padding whatsoever.

And tbh most girls go on to buying just normal range bras within the first few months anyway, especially if using the bra intervention threads - as ften the teen ranges don't cover the required sizes.

Re. see through tops. Yes, 12y has a couple of these - they go OVER a vest top. They are not designed to be worn alone or even with just a bra under ime.

I wish T shirt bras had existed when I was younger.

I bought DD (11) a 5-pack of plain thongs last week.

She dances. They are a standard part of 'under costume' wear for low-backed costumes, where VPL is not acceptable. For higher back costumes she wears a flesh coloured 'body'.

It doesn't mean that thongs shopuld be 'standard' underwear for an 11 year old (bear in mind that they were absolutely plain, white, black or flesh-coloured), but nor does it mean that buying 11 year olds such things should be a source of frothing.

They look like special occasion shoes to me, like for weddings or christenings really, not for everyday/ longterm wear. I think its a bit over the top to go complaining about them - if they aren't to your taste then simply don't buy them but to complain wastes your time writing it and someone elses time reading it because you wont change it.

Okay so don't buy them then - problem solved.

I get the wider point you're trying to make, OP - but I really think you're trying to fight the good fight via the medium of the wrong shoe.

These shoes are not pointy. And they don't have a high heel; they have a heel.

I'd wager there is not a single 3YO girl who, after possibly being delighted to wear these shoes as part of an outfit for a special occassion, would prioritise sitting quietly with the shoes on, over kicking them off and running around, using up energy.

And that's even assuming she couldn't run in them in the first place. The heel is so modest, that I imagine they're perfectly possibly to play and run in.

Would I but them for my DD? Maybe, maybe not. Would my very own 3YO DD love them? Undoubtedly.

Disclaimer in the interest of full disclosure: I identify 100% as a feminist, but wear actual high heels most days.

of course they don't need heels. No woman needs heels. Nobody needs shoes other than a flat brown laceup, but since this is isn't North Korea we can all choose the shoes we like

Totally agree with this.

No, my pre-teens don't need 1 inch heels, they don't need biscuits, icecreams or chocolate either. I don't operate on a strict need basis.

If you don't like them, don't buy them.

1 inch heels for a special occasion are not something I can bring myself to get het up about

"of course they don't need heels. No woman needs heels. Nobody needs shoes other than a flat brown laceup, but since this is isn't North Korea we can all choose the shoes we like"

But we're not talking about women - grown women can choose whatever footwear they want (well not all can, of course, but that's another debate).

The question is whether it's tasteful / appropriate for small children to wear heels. Okay, the shoe in question certainly isn't one of the worst on offer, but it's a step down the road in a wrong, 'mini beauty queen' type direction. In my own opinion, obviously.

These are one of the Brantano monstrosities:

www.brantano.co.uk/kids/party-shoes/girls-kids-party-shoes-sandals-out-of-school-shoes-party-sandal-lilac-skittles-2208208625

They start in a kids 10, which is definitely pre-teen sizing. (Whether a 15 year old might have size 10 feet is irrelevant).

Just grim. My DD had size 10 feet at 5 years old, and I bet there's no shortage of fuckwits out there that would buy them for a 5 year old.

Just because something is 'feminine', doesn't necessarily mean it is bad.

As a feminine feminist, I really take umbrage with the idea that women should eschew - for want of a better word - 'girly' things.

I do get the arguments about high heels, and I respect other women's right to reject them.

But there is a deeper issue that makes me pretty uncomfortable, around things that are perceived as inherently feminine being seen in a negative light. I think that does a lot of harm. We're effectively teaching our boys and our girls that 'girls' things are lesser.

These shoes are for a special occassion. It's actually OK for girls to want to dress as girls, and to wear a pair of shoes like these (low heel, and with a toe no more or less rounded than any other girls shoes I see out there) as part of a special occassion outfit.

No 3YO girl is going to let her shoes dictate her ability to run and have fun.

MyFeetAreCold firstly these shoes are obviously for a wedding so at many key points no-one is going to be running around having fun.

Secondly at the point that is appropriate she will no doubt take them off-as the vast majority of people of the female persuasion did at the last wedding I was at as dancing an eightsome reel in high heels is not a clever idea

Or do you think that wearing these shoes is going to result in a Hans Christian Andersen Red Shoes scenario where the shoes are welded to her feet?

"But there is a deeper issue that makes me pretty uncomfortable, around things that are perceived as inherently feminine being seen in a negative light. I think that does a lot of harm. We're effectively teaching our boys and our girls that 'girls' things are lesser."

I get that too, I suppose it's a question of what's considered feminine and why. Would you put a Madonna-style corset on a small child in the name of feminine beauty? Personally I think high heels are part of that continuum.

btw I speak as an idiot child one who wore 4 inch wedges to school as a 13 year old. But I suppose the difference is, it was somehow a rite of passage away from childhood. I'd still happily wear heels on occasion, if I only could without bleeding and falling over.

MyfeetAreCold goodness you sound sanctimonious.

I don't even wear particularly high heels but I do like pretty, feminine shoes,in colours other than black or brown worn with dresses.

"Form over function continuum " and here was me thinking I just don't like ugly clothes.

And that is exactly the sort of response I expected.

No wonder young women are put off feminism. That sort of patronising attitude that being interested in clothes equals no brain is extremely tedious.

I rarely wear high heels, MyFeetAreCold but I don't agree with you, I'm afraid. The men at the wedding will take off ties, the women (may) take off shoes. I get your point about bare feet being potentially risky with dancing, but I don't see much difference otherwise. Formal attire is not comfortable for anyone.

I can't believe this thread is still raging 2 days later. What a storm in a teacup. Even the OP has disappeared.

Myfeet why do you think intelligence and a liking for pretty shoes can't go hand in hand?

I've been at weddings where the men have taken off shoes. Formal men's shoes aren't that necessarily comfortable either.

And yet you said

"Sorry I used big words. Back to your pretty shoes."