How the bloody hell do I stop my cat being such a complete git?

[AtYourCervix]

Breakfast.... 7am .... at least 3 courses.

Sleeps all day (usually on clean washing)

Wakes up and demands lunch 3 or 4 times at 11, 12 and 2pm.

Supper...5pm....eats all his own, steals from other cat and dog. Demands pudding At least twice.

Second supper 7.30pm

Third supper 8pm

From first supper until 8.30pm he will shout, bang doors and windows until someone lets him in or out. Over and over again.

9pm final demand to go out.

Over night...... will shout to go in and out a few times. Leaves assorted rodents strewn in bits over the drive and garden. Has discovered the joys of eating rabbits.

He only wants to be nice and sit on a lap when I am either on the lav or wet from the shower. He smells delicious. But is such a complete bastard. He can't be ignored as he is too loud.

How do I turn him into a nice cat?

... and another thing. Most cat carriers are useless for my cat, as she's so bloody STRONG and I can't get her in. So I bought this big hamper thing. Trouble was, cat plus hamper too heavy and awkward for me (I'm an ancient crone) to haul to the vet for yearly jabs. So I bought this industrial trolley thingie, lash the basket with cat onto it, and trundle it around to the vet's surgery.

I get some funny looks, pushing along a wailing, yowling trolley!

My two say quit your whining and get on with serving your master

He's just had his second supper.

Fur is smooth and shiny.

Will de-worm him again but this is not a new thing and deworming hasn't made any difference before.

Git.

oh my god! they are twins. Sadly my Facey died a couple of years ago. But he really was the most antisocial embarrassing bastard going. He used to go into my neighbours cat flap, eat her cats food, sleep on her bed and piss on her hob . He used to go into another neighbours house and steal her dd's hair clips and bring them to me as trophies. Half eaten dead animals dropped on my head in the middle of the night, par for the course. And i even had to taste some of his bloody wee when he had a kidney infection. I miss the little sod every single day.

He had to jump on the utility room bench (not the kitchen one =doesn't like the arse kicking) couldn't wait until I got unpacked properly and put some to his bowl.

Mrs
ARF @ Pissed on her hob

Is he weeing normal amounts?

If he was mine - cat flap, automatic cat food feeder and one of those toys/bowls they have to scoop food out of :)

I have well behaved cats as they get fecked outsdie for bad behaviour :D

Not just me with a git of a cat then. WelshCakesCat is permanently looking for ways to bring about my demise (figure of eighting around my legs on the stairs is a particular favourite) or wrecking the house by way of a dirty protest.

Git.

Mine once managed to rip the pack of biscuits open and scatter them all over the kitchen...

Tabby1963
Could you pop a note through the neighbours door, asking them to let you know if your cats are breaking and entering. I'd find it hilarious to be honest but would come and tell you what they were up to.

The cat that lives next door to me thinks 'fuck the cat flap' and leisurely tries to pop through open windows for food/a nosey around.

Awww... Everyone in here has such cute kitties! :)

One of mine is currently lying on top of the job, staring at us and being arsey if we try to move her.

HOB

Oldgrandmama your cat is just amazing, and your cat trolley- brilliant

makes me want a cat again, but I would worry way too much, not worth it for me, so keep posting pics so I can live vicariously through the lot of you

Try ear plugs. Our cats only have free reign of the house during the day. At night the door to upstairs is closed, as are the bedroom doors. They have a cat flap and a bowl of water.

But they do bring us pigeons ('cause they love us)

He sounds very lovely. I have a Siamese...all he does is drool and sit on me...all day and all night...literally. I sit down for ONE second and he appears and takes up residence.

Does he eat fresh bird though? I'd rather my cat just stuck to the food I get her instead of leaving sparrow legs and wings around the house. Also, I have thought about having a cat flap installed in my bedroom door so that the cats can come in but I can lock the children out.

sounds like a MAN cat, cute as hell (minus the killing of furry animals, i love furry animals). my cat can be a pain the arse but i bloody love her!! mad as hell at times but that is the best bit about having a cat, when she has her 'mad cat 5 minutes'...

My son and his wife woke up in the early hours, as their sweet cat was playing around on the end of their bed. Nothing unusual about that. But they put the bedside light on, to tell her to go away with suitable frowns and finger pointing. She was indeed having a lovely game on their bed, tossing around a dead rat!

She has a thing about rats - she also dragged in a very long dead rat and put it on 9 year old grandson's pillow. Her 'gift' had left a trail of maggots all the way up the stairs.

She's a small, dainty beautiful little cat - looks like butter wouldn't melt. Ha!

Personally, I blame the parents!

How do you take a photo and put it on here. Last time I messed with photos I gave Facebook access to my whole collection - think! Scared.

This is Litek..

Old gran i love your cat...come here old cat gran cat for a cuddle and a tickle under you chin....