How the bloody hell do I stop my cat being such a complete git?

[AtYourCervix]

Breakfast.... 7am .... at least 3 courses.

Sleeps all day (usually on clean washing)

Wakes up and demands lunch 3 or 4 times at 11, 12 and 2pm.

Supper...5pm....eats all his own, steals from other cat and dog. Demands pudding At least twice.

Second supper 7.30pm

Third supper 8pm

From first supper until 8.30pm he will shout, bang doors and windows until someone lets him in or out. Over and over again.

9pm final demand to go out.

Over night...... will shout to go in and out a few times. Leaves assorted rodents strewn in bits over the drive and garden. Has discovered the joys of eating rabbits.

He only wants to be nice and sit on a lap when I am either on the lav or wet from the shower. He smells delicious. But is such a complete bastard. He can't be ignored as he is too loud.

How do I turn him into a nice cat?

Apparently, black cats are harder to rehome as they tend to get overlooked in favour of more colourful ones. [ sad] Our black cat is the soppiest feline I've ever met which makes it slightly easier to put up with him head butting me at 5am. I think you just have to learn to accept your place in the hierarchy.

Every 12wks for worming but more if they're prolific hunters and eat their prey.
It could bethe food brand, we had a cat who was so noisy and demanding, we switched to just dry food (purina) and he was a different cat - much quieter.

We have 2 cats. One just eats. Her food in seconds then moans her bowl is empty. We are guessing as she's a rescue she's got got used to eating very fast but then panics about where her next meal is coming from. We bought a cat it food maze for her, it's great as she can see she still has food so doesn't panic but it takes her ages to knock the food down the tower so she only gets a few pieces at a time. We have also used the treat type balls you fill it with kibble and there's little holes in it as she pushes it round they fall out , means the food she would it in 20 seconds takes 10 mins and then she worn out from pushing round and ready for a nap.

We have a da bird feather toy which we play with them before bed it gets them running and jumping so they are ready to sleep.

Loada you've managed to sleep train cats? That's impressive. I remember someone posting about trying to do controlled miaowing - it failed if I remember right.

If you through in vomiting daily and hanging his backside over the edge of the huge litter tray to pee on the floor he sounds just like me old cat He used to come in, pee all over the floor and then go back out!

He used to beg to be let out at 6am on a sunday by howling and scratting. Once out he would climb up onto the house roof and hang over the edge, hitting our bedroom window He also hated our neighbour and treates him with utter disdain, but would stalk past him, glaring at him and go get in his bed. He was just fantastic!

throw not through

Cats are just bastards...I love black cats as well

This is my cat.....he's a complete TART for attention....I don't know how he manages to manipulate me so much....

He's only a baby...6 months old

You can't i'm afraid.

Huge LOL at 'controlled miaowing'! Nope, they simply don't get tired or bored of it.

Mine is just the same. Demands food all the time. Asks for a meal as soon as he's finished one and wolfs them down in seconds. He also eats off his paw and spreads jelly liberally around the kitchen. Whenever I'm in the kitchen he yowls and pats my legs with his paws/claws until I feed him.

I've put some of it down to insecurity as he was a stray before we had him, but I have to admit that it's probably largely just greed. I don't know how to stop it though. He won't touch dried food but also doesn't drink at all, so I'm reluctant to push it.

Billy approves

My cat catches mice. Brings them in. Lets them go. They hide behind the hot water cyclinder in the airing cupboard and die there from shock and exhaustion ... then slowly rot, and stink. And stink. And stink. I can't reach them. The central heating guy can't reach them. When they eventually stop stinking (takes about two months), because they've become just dried up bits of bone and fur, my cat retrieves them and leaves them in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Nice.

My barstard cat always has muddy paws. I think he must tiptoe upstairs in order to plant his great big muddy footprints all over my duvet. How else would he avoid it coming off on the carpet?

Is he a bit scruffy looking?
Grumble puss was always hungry, grumpy and howled... She had a hyperthyroid she had half removed and is much happier.

Their fur goes funny too.

I still get woken up in the night and howled at, but it's less urgent and more just coz she can.

This thread has me in hysterics.

Git
Controlled miaowing

Arf :o

Beautiful cats everyone

My cat is 20! Yes 20 years of joy!
He sleeps most of the time.

However, if he sees you sitting down he insists on sitting on you and demands constant stroking.

If you leave the office door open he will shit and piss on the carpet. This is despite having a lovely clean cat litter tray ready for use.

If he can't sneak into the office he will just shit on the patio!

He eats 4 meals a day. However, he will pretend he loves a particular brand of food. He will fall on his bowl and eat it all. He will wait until you then buy a lovely big box of the said brand and then walk away like he's being poisoned!

He is deaf, blind in 1 eye and has really weak back legs and struggles to walk.

Worms was my first thought. Get him off to the vets. Even if it isnt worms a trip to the vet and the thermometer up the a-hole will be suitable patback for the broken sleep.

My cat eats curry given half a chance. Cats are weird.

(Are you sure he isn't hyperthyroid OP?)

Cats are meant to be twats. Its The Rules.

My two tabbies have left me feeling embarrassed in my street. My vet had told me to watch their weight at their last check up, so I cut down on their meals at an amount recommended for their build (they are not fat by any means but are approaching middle age now). However I suspect that what they're now doing is going around the street finding open cat flaps and going in to eat neighbours' cat food.

The reason I suspect this is that I have been finding sachets of cat food in my front garden, bitten open and empty. The sachets are difficult to spot amongst all the bushes but it seems that someone's had enough of their raiding .

I have had to up their food again to try and stop them being so anti-social. No one has spoken to me about it and I am too embarrassed to go around the houses asking. I suspect one particular house though; they are fairly new to the street and I know they have two cats and a cat flap. They seem very nice and are probably too embarrassed to speak to me.

OP, you cat is gorgeous and looks nothing like a psycho-cat (as are all the other cat pics ) and I am afraid that you will have to live with his evil genius ways.

tits does your cat have half rice- half chips and a pint of mild with it?

I really wouldn't fancy cleaning out a post curry litter tray.

When you find the answer, please let me know as my cat is a git too! Seriously though, make sure he hasn't got worms as that is a ridiculous amount of food for one cat to consume in a day!