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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Vaginoplasty

98 replies

LittleTurtle · 07/05/2014 13:50

Hi all, someone from relationship has asked that maybe I get more responses here, so here is my advert.

Was just wondering if anyone has done Vaginoplasty, before and how it affected your sex life. Was it better after.

I am going for an op tomorrow and I hear it hurts like hell in the first week after. After 3 natural births, I had a huge cave down under, which was affecting our love life. DH has always been polite and said all is fine, but I am simply not enjoying sex with him anymore. He is average size and though we went on to have 2 other DC, after the 1st one, things were not the same. They were not even that big babies.

The gyna said he could easily fit 6 fingers in there, he has done hundreds of this operation and says it's a common problem. Seriously, I did not feel uncomfortable when he did fit the fingers.
DH has a hard time keeping it up nowadays, and aside from the conception of the last 2 DC, sex has been pretty much off the table, and I don't mind as I am not enjoying it at all. No friction.

The Gyna said he would do me 2 fingers, I said, 1 and a half, and he said sex should not be painful, and though lots of women ask for a pencil fit, for all they care, he feels it's a failed procedure it things are too tight. I want a vice grip to be honest.

Not many people talk about this, and though in the marriage I guess you have to abide by it, surely not all women who date later have not had natural births, or did everything just go back into place after?

I am mostly doing this for me as I cannot imagine a sexless or unsatisfied sex life for the next few decades.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleTurtle · 07/05/2014 13:57

Also should mention that I did lots of Kegels etc. and have researched this for over 5 years now. Really would like to do it. Please look at relationships for more.

OP posts:
FrigginRexManningDay · 07/05/2014 14:02

Yes it does sound as if you have had some damage to your vagina, certainly if your gynae can fit six fingers up. Loads of women have natural births and go back the same afterwards. Did you have an episiotomy?

VerucaInTheNutRoom · 07/05/2014 14:02

"6 fingers", "vice like grip"? Is this a joke?

nameuschangeus · 07/05/2014 14:04

Where does the gynae with 6 fingers work? Is it a private practice?

Nancy66 · 07/05/2014 14:04

Six fingers would be a bit awkward to perform wouldn't it?

Lagoonablue · 07/05/2014 14:05

Is this post real?

softlysoftly · 07/05/2014 14:05

Erm well ok

the Dr I assume is private and therefore it pays him to advise women they have bucket fannies.

Have you been to an actual NHS GP/consultant to see if you have damage from labour?

Nancy66 · 07/05/2014 14:06

Lagoon - I doubt it.

kukeslala · 07/05/2014 14:07

The OP has also posted this in relationships, it was a suggestion by another that she may get more responses here or chat.

UnderIce · 07/05/2014 14:10

You're quite right to address it. You deserve a happy and fulfilled sex life and if this is the way to get it, go for it.

Original poster
LittleTurtle · 07/05/2014 14:16

Have to say, I am shocked that by the women who think this is a joke. Did you have natural births, and everything was tight like before? Doctor told me this is comorn and I believed him. wtf?

Glad to hear a few women who experienced the same thing though.

OP posts:
CinnabarRed · 07/05/2014 14:30

I appreciate that you're an established poster, but I think it's a really crappy idea to ask people to share details of their flappy fanjos and sex lives online. You must see why this makes you look hairy handed?

Nancy66 · 07/05/2014 14:33

I think it's the use of language and how many fingers someone can get inside you.
I now think that's prob how a vaginoplasty is talked about (i.e in terms of fingers) it's just a bit odd sounding

CinnabarRed · 07/05/2014 14:34

That and wanting a vice-like grip Hmm

SecretSpy · 07/05/2014 14:35

I bet he's really good at playing the piano. The Dr with six fingers.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 07/05/2014 14:36

I think the gynae's opinion is worth listening to.

And the choice of language you have used is odd.

UnderIce · 07/05/2014 14:38

Why are you "glad" some people have experienced the same thing. And nowhere on this thread has anyone shared that with you anyway.

I repeat that you deserve a happy and fulfilled sex life and if this is the way to get it, go for it, but your posting style is a bit odd.

Original poster
LittleTurtle · 07/05/2014 14:48

OK, so it seems that most people on MM are qute conservative, and i should not have been so open...............I DEEPLY APOLOGISE..............

Just 'glad' that some people are happy to share, not that they had the experience.

Quite taken aback that that I am the only one with '6fingers', on here though I have heard of more.

OP posts:
ICanSeeTheSun · 07/05/2014 14:52

I think you are one brave women, no way would I have that op done.

TillyTellTale · 07/05/2014 14:52

Well, if MNers told you that they wouldn't recommend this procedure, what would you do? Seeing as you're booked in for tomorrow?

MrsKoala · 07/05/2014 14:52

I think it's pretty normal in this kind of medical/clinical situations to measure in terms of 'fingers'. But it sounds dodgy on here. When i was working with midwives many moons ago i seem to remember this is how they measured dilation - is that not the case?

Anyhow. OP i think if this will make you feel better and get a more fulfilling sex life then have it done. I have no idea how common it is tho. Possibly more common to someone who specialises in the issue and who gets all the referrals than most lay people. But, it doesn't really matter does it? it's not really relevant to you. It's your experience and happiness that matters. If this will make you happy then only you can decide if it's what you want.

shouldnthavesaid · 07/05/2014 14:57

I had vulval surgery and was climbing the walls with pain for a week. Can't imagine vaginal surgery being any easier. Ask before you consent what sort of pain relief they will offer. Do you know if that needs paid separately, for example? Have they discussed am epidural being placed pre op or a
PCA (I was offered both for my surgery, and took the former but as a full long acting spinal).

You'll probably want kept in as well - I couldn't go home that night and I imagine vaginal surgery would be just as bad.

Have they explained whether you'll need vaginal packing/ catheterised as well etc?

Basically, before you consent make sure anything offered is exactly as what you'd expect from the NHS in terms of after care. Don't accept any less than that.

PrincessBabyCat · 07/05/2014 14:59

Yeah, that's the first I've heard of someone becoming that loose after childbirth.

It doesn't matter how common it is, if you want to get it done, do it. Life is to short to be miserable in bed.

Original poster
LittleTurtle · 07/05/2014 15:01

ICan, this is the last option.

I have researched for years now and this is the best thing for me now. The fingers issue seems a bit odd now that people are so negative with it as it'what they use when measuring with child birth. Quite surprised with how icky they are with it

Did wonder if someone already did this before and would like to share.

Girls with big vag would understand I gess. Or those who did the op.

OP posts:
Shallishanti · 07/05/2014 15:05

I know you say you've researched for years but I am concerned that the first advice you have had is from someone who has a financial interest in you having surgery! Did you ever consult your GP for example?

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