To think my old schoolfriend should not have brought her family to reunion

[Summerbreezing]

A group of us who hung around together at school have kept in intermittent touch over the years. However, due to distance, family commitments and work we haven't managed to meet up as a full group in years. Recently, however, circumstances meant we were all going to be in our home town on the same weekend and arranged to meet up for an early dinner on the Sat. before one of the group had to catch a train home.

Five of us arrived and were seated with glasses of wine wondering where no 6 was. Next thing in she arrived with a buggy, two other kids and her DH. She was all smiles and 'hope you don't mind, but we were at the art gallery and it was much handier for us all to come. Kids haven't eaten blah blah'. So instead of a nice couple of hours reminiscing and having a good laugh, we spent the time having to try and include her DH, put up with constant interruptions from her DC aged 10 ,8 and 2 and watch our Ps & Qs.

AIBU to think her DH could have taken the kids to McDs or somewhere (there was actually a family friendly pizza place right beside the restaurant we were in) rather than her entire family gatecrashing what was supposed to be a girls only reunion?

[Casmama]

Really idealist??? People you have not seen for years get inconvenienced for your "precious family time"?
I'm guessing with your attitude you probably wouldn't have been invited anyway.

[pictish]

Casmamma - no, you wouldn't. Surely not? Once he/they are there, manners dictate that you accommodate. You can't send people away like that!

[pictish]

I'd be all "of course...no problem!" while inwardly grimacing.

[Only1scoop]

Op said she's always had form for having to take her man ....and now dc with her. Next time I probably wouldn't invite her.... but the I find people like that generally dull and irritating anyway.

[Casmama]

I would actually- not send them out the restaurant but suggest they sit at a different table, yes. I wouldn't press the point and if the dh said they would just join us then would put up with it.
I like to think of it as being direct rather than fucking rude but appreciate others may disagree

[ssd]

I dont think any man in his right mind would think its ok to crash a woman's only meal

most would run a mile

your friends dh is an arse, they are well matched.

[Only1scoop]

Next time ....make it later....child unfriendly place for supper and then if she doesn't get the hint....there's no hope

[IdealistAndProudOfIt]

Yes, precious family time... When dh works full time and has an hour commute each way every day, and dd is at school.... Don't you people like your families? Why stay with the bloke, why have kids if you don't want to be with them? Puzzled. Mine are young though, I might think differently when they're teens (dreading that).

Non-kids wedding invites surprise me too, tbh. I keep seeing threads on here about them, and the practicalitities alone dictate that I would decline such an invitation without a second thought, sod 'em if the inviter got irritated while knowing my situation.

I probably wouldn't get invited with my attitude, you're probably right. We'd all win then wouldn't we.

[angelos02]

Some people really are socially awkward aren't they. How can she have not noticed? Fuckwit.

[MarshaBrady]

Yanbu, that would irritate and is pretty rude.

[ilovesooty]

I don't think you can hint with people like that. You have to tell them that the invitation doesn't include their husband and children or not invite them at all in future.

[angelos02]

idealist nothing wrong with family time. Just don't rock up to a catch up like the OP's with your family in tow.

[MarshaBrady]

The dc would have annoyed as much as the dh. One thing that is nice is time without any children or family. Just friends.

[ApocalypseThen]

Don't you people like your families? Why stay with the bloke, why have kids if you don't want to be with them?

Yes, but liking my family doesn't mean I must have every meal with them. And if it did, I'd decline an invitation where their presence wasn't appropriate.

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

"I would have been that person. Given that you're only in intermittent contact, you're hardly that close. I wouldn't want my precious family time to be interrupted for a bunch of people from school. I don't do individual gender meet-ups either, they annoy me."

Why would you not just decline the invite?

[Only1scoop]

Love precious time with family....also enjoy the precious time with my friends as it's pretty scarce these days. Maybe that's the same for OP.

Quite happy to attend the odd wedding without dd.

I do enjoy time with DP but would never drag him along to a girls gig like this. Likewise I wouldn't roll up uninvited with our brood if he was having a supper with some 'men folk'

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

That's right Idealist spending the occasional moment to ourselves is because we hate our families and DH's.

Wtf?

[pictish]

Pobble just made me inhale a piece of toast.
Idealist - dearie me.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Sorry!

[Only1scoop]

Yes can't think why I stay with DP ....I obviously don't like him....or my children as last month I sneaked away for a hen night....

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

I real feel very sorry for those who cannot bear to spend time apart from their children, it's like their whole identity is being 'mum' and I find it really unhealthy