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Original poster

Re:Sitting on spare seats at an occupied table in a cafe

336 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 03/05/2014 20:12

Just asking your thoughts really. DD and I were in a small licensed cafe in a local town during the day recently. It is a bit of a 'lovey' type place with lots of showbiz people etc. without outing where I live. The café is quite cramped with lots of little tables seating no more than four people each and that's at a push really.
It is very popular and DD and I got the last available table (the least popular right in front of the door , so draughty) We then observed several couples standing in the doorway yeah thanks for that looking around to establish there were no empty tables and one older couple on being told by the waiter very apologetically that there were no tables and he didn't know how long and would they like to sit at a table outside (fairly decent day) and have a coffee or something till one became available.
But no they decided to stand there in the doorway and gawp round the room assessing how far on everyone was with their meal/drink, including pointing when someone made any sort of move to go to the toilet or whatever. They seemed to be discussing a lady sat in a corner at a table alone reading a paper whilst having her drink /food and the fact she was sat on her own with 'three empty seats' but then decided against it and left.
They came back again five minutes or so later and did the same causing a draught routine again and were again politely told there were still no tables but insisted on waiting again in the doorway. After a few minutes they went over to the lady in the corner and I heard the man say 'Can we sit here , or are you one of these people funny about sharing a table?' They said this as they were pulling the chairs out obviously going for it whatever her response. I think she was too gobsmacked to say anything tbh but didn't seem happy and left soon after.
My DD and I were both a bit Hmm and said we would never intrude on someones quiet time in this way unless it was a long table meant for more than one group and even then would sit at far end. Obviously the water/proprietor didn't want them too as he repeatedly told them 'sorry no tables'. So what do you all think ? We felt it was quiet intrusive and that many people go into a café to have a quiet chill on their own or a private conversation with a friend/family member , not to socialise with strangers (they had proceeded to make small talk with her btw , resulting in her closing her book.)

OP posts:
mumteedum · 03/05/2014 21:54

They were definitely rude but even if they'd asked nicely, you can't say no really can you?

Last weekend I took my toddler to small cafe with outdoor seating. Older couple proceeded to join my table. They sort of asked but had already put bags down. Now I didn't really mind but see what you make of this. There were plenty of free tables. I think they just thought my son was cute or something cos they seemed to make fuss of him. The lady proceeded to tell my son to use his spoon, correct him on his animal impressions (I shit you not) and tell me there were toilets there should I need to clean him up after he was playing on the garden. It was so bizarre! They were perfectly nice just over bearing. The joys of social interaction! :-)

iK8 · 03/05/2014 21:56

I've shared tables loads of times, usually I've been the person already seated. I have never minded. But equally I would never sit on my own at a table for 4 people. That's quite selfish.

Yabu.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2014 21:57

What if you were on your own and the only table left was one for four ik8? But I assume the waiter seated the lady at that table anyway in this case-it wouldn't have been her choice.

Summerbreezing · 03/05/2014 21:59

There's a huge difference between wandering around with a tray of food and realising there are no tables free and you're just going to have to join someone else; and going into a waiter served restaurant and plonking yourself at someone else's table when you haven't even bought something. You tend to pay a bit more in non self service places and expect a table to yourself.

ilovesooty · 03/05/2014 22:07

It is a small place with about a dozen small tables , there are four chairs round each but tables only about the size of a table for two in a restaurant so four people would in reality struggle especially if eating , not just having a drink

It doesn't sound as though she could have sat at a smaller table in the first place, and as Sparkling said, the waiter will have seated her there.

tallulah · 03/05/2014 22:10

I would hate to be forced to share a table with strangers. I can't bear the sound (or sight in some cases) of people eating.

We were having breakfast in a hotel a couple of years ago at a small table for 4 and someone tried to come and sit with me while DH and 5 yo DD were getting toast (one of those serve yourself buffet breakfasts where they grab the dirty plates every time you leave your seat). She seemed a bit put out when I said no she couldn't sit there.

scottishmummy · 03/05/2014 22:13

If youre so sensitive to proximity of others dont eat out publicly in case you share
Yes folk masticate,they slurp.thats simply how it goes

mumteedum · 03/05/2014 22:13

Tallulah I conclude some people are juat weird! I can't believe the woman last weekend thought sharing table meant she could correct my parenting and tell my son to use his spoon! (he had a fork already). Still amused me rather than annoyed.

SatansFurryJamHats · 03/05/2014 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 03/05/2014 22:19

If it's a waiter service establishment where's the evidence that it has "a fast through-put"?

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/05/2014 22:19

The argument just goes back to : if it is a "Wait to be seated" establishment, then that is just exactly what you do. It is NOT the same as a huge chain where you pay your money, then find a spot. Not the same AT ALL. If I had been that lady, I would have given short shrift to the couple trying to muscle in, and to the waiter. I would have paid my money for a private spot for half an hour or so. Private establishments are probably more expensive than chains.

If you go to theme parks and such places, when you pay your money beforehand, then it is a bit of a free-for-all, and you take your chairs when you find them.

Different scenarios entirely

Summerbreezing · 03/05/2014 22:21

But it wasn't a place with a fast through put. It was a place where the management quite clearly stated that there were no tables free. Why are some posters ignoring this. Do they also rudely impose themselves on other people who have paid to have a quiet private meal in a small cafe.?

ilovesooty · 03/05/2014 22:22

Precisely the point, Evans

MistressDeeCee · 03/05/2014 22:26

The elderly couple could have been more polite but I guess they just wanted to get off their feet. The cafe should be better organised. Many nowadays have small tables for 1 or 2, then a larger table with 4 chairs for instance. They need to be more customer friendly, then again if they're that busy I don't suppose more customers is a priority for them

ErrolTheDragon · 03/05/2014 22:26

'Can we sit here , or are you one of these people funny about sharing a table?'

That's plain rude.

There are lots of places where I don't mind in the least sharing a table but I think if someone had approached me with those words I'd have been very Hmm

MorrisZapp · 03/05/2014 22:27

Was it draughty, or a fairly decent day?

SatansFurryJamHats · 03/05/2014 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 03/05/2014 22:28

They could have got off their feet at the outside table they were offered while they were waiting.

Summerbreezing · 03/05/2014 22:29

Mistress the restaurant had clearly stated that there were no tables free. Regardless of how organised they were, the couple were rude and intrusive.

SatansFurryJamHats · 03/05/2014 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Summerbreezing · 03/05/2014 22:31

Satans expecting a table to yourself in a waiter served establishment where the staff had already made it clear to other customers that sharing a table was not part of their policy is not expecting VIP service.

scottishmummy · 03/05/2014 22:31

Op youre spectacularly missing point.youre not entitled to privacy on public
And the cafe had accepted couple as patrons.wanted their money

Pipbin · 03/05/2014 22:33

Asking to share a table at Starbucks or M&S Cafe when you have a tray of food there is nowhere else is fine.
However the OP has made it quite clear that they had not bought anything yet and this was somewhere where you are seated.
Worse, in my opinion is the way that the lady was asked.

ilovesooty · 03/05/2014 22:33

It's a cafe. You don't buy privacy in a cafe. The management can gussy it up all they like, but they aren't going to turn away covers because some customers think they have bought a VIP area with their butty

It's an establishment with waiter service, and the waiter told the couple there were no free tables.

Summerbreezing · 03/05/2014 22:33

Scottishmoney* genuine question. Why do you keep stating that the cafe had 'accepted the couple as patrons' when they had quite clearly told the couple, at the door and before they had bought food, that they could not be accommodated as there were no tables free?