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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to wonder what's wrong with quiet drinks in the pub to wet your baby's head

79 replies

Whitewaters · 30/04/2014 13:27

DH has just been invited away for a weekend to wet his friend's baby's head. AIBU to think this a bit odd?

It's something I've noticed a lot of colleagues and acquaintances seem to be doing (thankfully no close friends until now).

I don't mean just a drink down the pub or whatever (totally fine with that) but a massive do seemingly to rival baby showers and almost stag like in proportions!

For example, someone at work had a baby about 6 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago he took a Friday and Monday off work for his 'wetting the baby's head', he went away Fri-Sun with 15 mates - night out on the Fri, day at the races on Sat and then home Sun, with Mon off work to recover. Like a stag do, his mates bought his drinks all weekend. This is just one of several examples.

I've even heard people referring to it like an event everyone should be aware of, i.e. 'I've got my wetting the baby's head on Saturday' or 'my husband's booked his wetting the baby's head for the 12th'.

I know IABU, I should just mind my own business, but it seems like everything these days requires an over the top/elaborate celebration. What has happened to low key events?!

OP posts:

fairylightsintheloft · 30/04/2014 13:36

is it maybe the bloke's equivalent of the baby shower? Nothing wrong with it if all concerned are happy to go / be left etc. Equally there's nothing wrong with a quiet one. Might be tricky for the new mum to be left that early but if she has lots of supportive relatives grandparents around she may not mind, in which case, no problem. If she is likely to be alone with a newborn for the whole 2-3 days then its less ideal.

Mouthfulofquiz · 30/04/2014 13:36

That is ridiculous!!!! One evening in the pub is completely sufficient. A weekend away is so over the top! and I bet this guy's wife would rather he was at home helping her!

squishysquirmy · 30/04/2014 13:36

YANBU to find this odd - I have never heard of people doing this (quiet drink down the pub - yes, weekend away with mates - no).

Your colleague who went away for a whole weekend - was this when his baby was just a month old? I would be if dh left me and our baby at this age to get pissed for a whole weekend with his mates!

trolleycoin · 30/04/2014 13:37

YANBU. One evening in a pub with your mates showing off photos and passing comment on how baby has more hair than dad is proportionate. Weekend away? IMHO its too much, who is helping mum while he is off galavanting? I haven't been out to celebrate wetting my baby's head - he's not a baby anymore, he's 2! I never had the luxury of time.

DH was pestered by his mates (think there is a peer element to wetting baby's head - any excuse for a piss up), but he said he wasn't going out until a) I was fully recovered and comfortable from CS and b) DS was properly settled and sleeping through as it was unfair to me.

And you are spot on about the OTT celebrations. I've just got over the flu, lets have a big party

Each to their own

squishysquirmy · 30/04/2014 13:39

"Monday off work to recover"
I hope his newborn screamed through his hangover!

bragmatic · 30/04/2014 13:39

Really????

Bloody hell.

ViviPru · 30/04/2014 13:47

No no no nooooo please tell me this isn't a thing now? We've just about recovered from 5 solid years of financial ruin due to endless stag dos. Don't say we've got another 5 years of this nonsense to contend with now?

I'll be keeping an eye on this thread. Many friends and family of ours have had children in the last couple of years and I certainly haven't come across this phenomenon whatsoever.

drivenfromdistraction · 30/04/2014 13:47

Weird. Just an excuse for going off drinking wath mates, I think. A bit immature.

Original poster

Whitewaters · 30/04/2014 13:53

From what he said when he got back on the Tuesday I don't think his wife was too happy, the baby had been hard to settle over the weekend, he did say screaming one month old baby + Monday hangover meant he wasn't really on top form.
I did wonder if maybe there was a peer element to this, the one DH's been invited to the baby hasn't even been born yet so I did wonder why he was organising it already. Perhaps his friends are asking him.

OP posts:

BubbleButt79 · 30/04/2014 13:59

"I don't mean just a drink down the pub or whatever (totally fine with that) but a massive do seemingly to rival baby showers and almost stag like in proportions!"

Hmmm......
A day out is fine, when baby and mother are settled/recovered enough to cope. Also, please bear in mind that whilst child birth is very physically tortuous for the lady alone, the emotional impact felt by both parents is a joyous occasion, fair do's for the dad's wanting to celebrate.

I never had a weekend away to celebrate either of my kids births, but we had a Saturday afternoon/evening out in the local city to celebrate - nothing wrong with it.

Much more entertaining and genuinely enjoyed than a forced baby-shower, attended by people forced to buy presents, and people either jealous you're having kids before them or not arsed about having kids (and turning up for the booze)....

Coumarin · 30/04/2014 14:00

It's a weekend away for everything now isn't it? Stag and ahem dos, engagements now babies being born. Talk about any excuse. I think the father needs to do some growing up and fast.

Coumarin · 30/04/2014 14:01

Hen dos not 'ahem dos'

ViviPru · 30/04/2014 14:04

OP Do you think it could be a regional thing? I'm really surprised I've not heard of this. Most of mine/DH's friends have had epic full on weekend-away stag and hen dos and many of our friends have had utterly pointless full-on Naming Days for their offspring. Any excuse for a big self-indulgent hoo-har it seems. But never a wetting the baby's head weekend, I have the fear there's one around the corner....

DaisyMasie · 30/04/2014 14:04

Jeeze, b hen and stag weekends, baby showers, gender reveal parties - is there any event now that doesn't involve all of your friends having to give up huge swathes of time and money to help you 'celebrate' every milestone.
YANBU, a couple of drinks in the pub should be sufficient.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 30/04/2014 14:13

YANBU how weird

We (DP and I) took our pfb with us when she was 4 days old to the pub to wet the babies head with all our friends. met up at round midday passed the baby around like a joint in the pub garden everyone had a lovely time.

think DP went out to the pub in the evening when DS was born with a couple of mates for a few but didn't get really drunk and certainly not enough to have a hangover. I wouldn't be happy for him to bugger off for an entire weekend when either DC was tiny to celebrate their birth

BubbleButt79 · 30/04/2014 14:13

Yeah - the weekend aspect seems unusual, I'd imagine it's some kind of "southern" thing.

But people - it's at most a weekend, it's not a big deal overall - if this is the worst thing that is happening........ jees.

BubbleButt79 · 30/04/2014 14:14

Oh - YANBU for the entire weekend thing, but YABU for the "few quiet drinks only" aspect.

Melonbreath · 30/04/2014 14:15

I've never heard of this. If dh had left for a massive one for a weekend leaving me with my screaming colicky velcro newborn I'd have ripped him limb from limb

Davsmum · 30/04/2014 14:16

It's just an excuse to go away and get pissed with mates.
It has NOTHING to do with the baby whatsoever. Totally unnecessary.

They should be honest and say they feel like going away, a load of lads on their own to get rat arsed.

Sort of makes it more acceptable to use the baby as an excuse because what new Mum would agree to her husband 'rewarding' himself this way after he has had the 'hard work' of watching her go through labour....?

bigTillyMint · 30/04/2014 14:18

What Melonbreath said

BubbleButt, why would it be a "southern" thing? When I was a kid UP NORTH, dad's always went out for a few (one evening!) to wet the baby's head

Trooperslane · 30/04/2014 14:18

I'd have been majorly pissed off if DH had buggered off for a weekend when dd was that young.

Really selfish. Couple of pints in the pub - a few hours - no problem.

Endymion · 30/04/2014 14:21

I'm southern, have 3 kids and lots of friends with kids, and have NEVER heard of such a ridiculous thing as a baby head wetting weekend. Crazy! And bloody inappropriate if is relatively soon after the baby has been born, when the priority should be for all hands to be on deck to adjust to having a newborn. Not for going out on the piss.

BubbleButt79 · 30/04/2014 14:22

people are so precious in here!

Yup - the mother has done the hard work, but (apart from the physical recovery part from the actual birth), the first few weeks are certainly as draining for both parents - my wife had an emergency section with our son, she actively sent me out for a day on the booze when she was physically fit enough to have him, by herself for the day - "i deserved it for all of the hard work".

Full weekend is too much, but what happens when the mother and her friends head off for a nice weekend of Spa's and Shopping after 6 months "to recover" - same situation, bet it's not shot down.....!

AnnaLegovah · 30/04/2014 14:22

"southern" thing. What bollocks.

davsmum has the measure of it. It's just another excuse for a piss-up.

HecatePropylaea · 30/04/2014 14:24

So the woman carries the baby for 9 months and either pushes a small human being through a very small hole or gets sliced open and the man gets to go on a jolly?

I don't bloody think so.

Wet the baby's head my big hairy ARSE.

If anyone deserves something fun and relaxing, it's the person who pushed an orange through the eye of a needle / had major abdominal surgery.

Tell him to piss out a grapefruit and then he can go have a lovely weekend trip.

there's a tiny possibility the idea of this may have hacked me right off

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