AIBU to wonder what's wrong with quiet drinks in the pub to wet your baby's head

[Whitewaters]

DH has just been invited away for a weekend to wet his friend's baby's head. AIBU to think this a bit odd?

It's something I've noticed a lot of colleagues and acquaintances seem to be doing (thankfully no close friends until now).

I don't mean just a drink down the pub or whatever (totally fine with that) but a massive do seemingly to rival baby showers and almost stag like in proportions!

For example, someone at work had a baby about 6 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago he took a Friday and Monday off work for his 'wetting the baby's head', he went away Fri-Sun with 15 mates - night out on the Fri, day at the races on Sat and then home Sun, with Mon off work to recover. Like a stag do, his mates bought his drinks all weekend. This is just one of several examples.

I've even heard people referring to it like an event everyone should be aware of, i.e. 'I've got my wetting the baby's head on Saturday' or 'my husband's booked his wetting the baby's head for the 12th'.

I know IABU, I should just mind my own business, but it seems like everything these days requires an over the top/elaborate celebration. What has happened to low key events?!

If any of the men I know announced their intention to go away for a long weekend, a very short time after the birth of their baby, leaving their possibly still-recovering partner alone with the new baby, and actually using the baby's birth as some sort of bizarre justification for it, I would think they were a massive twat.

I would probably tell them so, as well. Maybe not quite in so many words, but 'Are you fucking kidding me?' would probably be fairly high on my list of responses.

If the baby's arrival is such a big deal, and they're at work during the week, why in the name of arse would they not want to spend that time with said baby? It's not like a wedding or another commitment, where someone else is involved, or it has another purpose. It's just a piss-up because they've had a baby. It smacks a bit of wanting to get away from the broken nights and responsibility for a bit.

I'm also trying to imagine the response of HVs or other HCPs who might come into contact with the mother and baby during that time. Imagine if the baby had to go back into hospital for some reason, or their were problems with feeding.

HCP: So do you have any family support?
Mother: Not right now. My husband's gone to Amsterdam for three days to wet the baby's head.
HCP:

It smacks of wanting to get away from the broken nights and responsibility for a bit
Well, quite.

YANBU.

Wetting the baby's head is a couple of drinks in the local with some friends the day / day after the baby is born and usually when the mother and baby are still in hospital. It's being bought a couple of drinks / showing off photos / getting the piss taken out you a bit (baby has more hair than you /is as bald as you type jokes).

A weekend away with the lads for a 3 day piss up is not the same thing. It's excessive and very selfish.

I can see this sort of arrangement happening before the birth of first child. The father to be is unaware just how much work a newborn is so book up before the baby is born thinking the wife/ partner will cope fine as its just a baby - how much work can it be right? And the wife / partner agrees to weekend away as she is also unaware of just how much work a newborn is. (I know I lived I that happy 'it will be easy. What's all the fuss about' bubble before DD was born). I suspect once the baby arrives then they realise its not a good idea but everyone's paid up and they feel they have to go rather than let everyone down. I would not see the weekend away thing happening with 2nd or 3rd child as by then they know it will be a lot of work.

I hope this is a phase that dies out quickly as I can see a lot of relationships suffering. If my DH had left me for and entire weekend when DD was a couple of weeks old I would have been very upset as I really needed his help and support at that time.