Nursery went home and left dd!

[lookingfortheanswer]

Posting here for traffic, I don't have an aibu.

Went to pick up dd from nursery this afternoon and found the whole place locked up and nobody there. After frantically calling, banging on doors, checking nobody else had picked her up we managed to contact the neighbouring school. The staff who were still there were amazing, helped us to get into the building where we found dd on the toilet, on her own, lights off and doors closed, staff gone home. It took us half an hour to get in so she was there at least that long. She was obviously very upset but is now home and fine and drinking lemonade as a treat while I try to stop shaking.

Obviously this is a huge safeguarding issue and there is no way she is going back. The head of the neighbouring school has been in touch and is organising a meeting for the morning.

Any advice on where to go from here, who to complain to? Should we get legal advice? I am so so angry!

I would really, really want to know about this. I am a parent who used a nursery for 4.6 years and while I wouldn't (I think) automatically whip my child out if I heard this, I would be wanting a meeting with the nursery management pdq.

If you don't want to go to the press (don't really blame you) can you let a couple of other parents there know? It will only take a couple for the jungle drums to start.

I agree with TeenandTween that this nursery is now the best safeguarded around, as the staff/management will be on high alert, and they have someone in there to keep a check on everything, so other parents would be less inconvenienced by keeping the nursery open - BUT they should still be told about it and given the chance to change their care arrangements for their own child(ren). Some may decide that this sort of thing couldn't happen again, now that it's happened once, as everyone will be super careful now; others will be horrified that it ever happened in the first place and remove their child(ren) forthwith - but they need to know so they can make an informed decision.

I don't know if it's worth you going to the papers yourself, Looking - it could have some unpleasant repercussions - but I hope that the story does make it into the public domain. Do you know any of the other parents, could you let them know yourself what has happened?

Forago - at DS's nursery I've also known them to shut early if all DCs are collected early on some afternoons, usually the days they don't have many in. As others have said, some nurseries work differently.

I would push for charges to be brought. And also would make sure eveyrone in the town knew about this. If you are able to get word out yourself, do it, if not, I'd go to the local paper.

oh and as a parent who's used a nursery, I'd definately want to know, I would remove my DCs, not because I fear it could happen again, but the lack of basic care and attention would make me worried that while this situation might not happen again, some other problem could happen due to lack of care and attention.

Please tell local paper. I'm a former reporter for local paper and I would not get the story all wrong as someone earlier suggested.

What would actually be achieved by going to the local paper?

What do people want to happen from such publicity.

The shit has already hit the fan at the Nursery.
Ofsted will be crawling al over it.

OP needs a new nursery / childminder place.
No nursery will take her DD on if she has gone to the press.

She is best to let Ofsted do their thing and quietly let other parents know why she has moved her DD.

Thanks op fir the update, I am astounded on the troll hunting on here, some people have been awful. The Nurseries reaction is unacceptable, yes I would go to the local paper, see a solicitor. Parents have a right to know, so that at least they are informed, I am glad other agencies are taking it seriously, even more your dd is ok.

Actually talkinpeace has great advice, good idea ignore some of my post

Agree with talkinpeace.

Thanks for the update.I think the nursery are being really short sighted here. They need to tell the parents before everyone hears by word of mouth. A letter going out saying what happened that there will be an investigation and that they have put emergency procedures in place in the meantime would go some way to reassuring parents.
Ironically that nursery is probably a pretty safe environment to be in now as they will be making sure everything is done by the book. A bit late for OP and her poor daughter.

Something happened at my DS's nursery which resulted in a child being injured. The nursery put a whole load of new measures in place and it was a much better set up.

What would be achieved by going ot the local papers is the other parents would all know. Other parents who were thinking of using that nursery would know. The issue with nurseries is parents pick up and drop off at other times, I know 3 of the parents of the other 20 DCs in DS's nursery - I recognise some of the others, we drop/pick up at the same time, I'd nod hello, but I wouldn't know how to contact them other than via the nursery. It's not like a pre-school where you all drop and pick up at the same time and get chatting. And DS only goes 3 days a week, there are DCs who go on the other days we've never met.

Also the main subject of a story in the paper will be you and your dd. Would you really want that?

It's awful, and I still think about how bad you must have felt. Well done for getting through today with everyone.

I think word will get round locally, yes tell other parents

If I had a child at the nursery I would want to know what happened.

Going to the papers isn't priority at the moment but those other parents at the nursery need to know what happened.

What would be achieved by going ot the local papers is the other parents would all know.

They would know that there has been a failing.
They would know that it is being Investigated and sorted.
But they would also know that nursery places are limited and they would have to stay there anyway, or jeopardise their own jobs.

So what do you expect to happen
other than crucifying some minimum wage staff and a manager who was probably physically sick when she got the phone call last night.

OPs DD is OK
She will forget all about it.
OP will not, but in a few years will add it to the anecdotes pile.

What is to be gained by letting the comments section of a local paper website loose on it : look what happened on here last night

I would tell the other parents, word of mouth spreads faster and is believed better than a paper report

Agree entirely with tobiasfunke and talkinpeace.

As a parent I would be much reassured by a statement from the nursery along with assurances about supervision, assessment and new measures. I would be furious to find out about this down the line or word of mouth.

It's not inappropriate for the OP to mention it to friends and family. I'm sure news will get around.

I would agree that letting the nursery re-evaluate their safeguarding is the most sensible way forward. While this incident could have had serious consequences, luckily it didn't, and at the end of the day, nursery staff are only human. As long as they took the incident very seriously and put new measures in place to make sure it didn't happen again, I'd probably be satisfied.

When DD2 started a new (otherwise lovely) nursery, I was horrified to find that little round brightly coloured magnets about half an inch in diameter were included in the toys for the toddlers. They could easily have been swallowed by a child and looked like sweets. There were lots of other small magnets, but those seemed most "swallowable" to me. I spoke to the manager, who said that they watch out when the children are playing to ensure none were swallowed, but I felt that realistically, it could happen so fast that staff wouldn't have time to react, I printed out loads of literature on the very fatal dangers of swallowing magnets, the nursery manager went very white and all magnets smaller than a child's hand were immediately removed.

Sometimes even the most well-meaning nursery can unwittingly endanger children. As long as they are prepared to listen, be open, admit their mistakes and fix them asap, I don't think anyone can reasonably ask more.

I would want to know exactly how the breakdown of procedures happened - the last thing you want in this situation is everyone trying to cover themselves and scared to admit to a mistake.

Obviously if it's someone being deliberately lazy who couldn't be bothered to check something, then the investigation needs to find that out and the final outcome will be someone being suspended or sacked.

But maybe it's not that - maybe it's perfectly good staff and a problem with the procedures in a particular situation (two children with similar names? signing out left to someone unfamiliar with procedures? the rare situation where five children are being signed out at once?) and if they can work out what that situation is they can protect against it next time.

You're more likely to end up with a better, safer, situation afterwards if the investigation can happen in a no-fault atmosphere. So I'd stay well away from reactions like sueing them or shaming them. That might help if it was known that the nursery owners had been negligent in a particular way and you suspected they would try to do it again, but if it's not that it could be worse than useless.

Late to this thread, was trying to post this when it was locked (thanks MNHQ for the tidy up) ...

This happened to me when I was 3. A few differences, granted, because it was a parent-run playgroup in a village hall in the early 70's, with probably no procedures in place for anything except returning the key!

Since then all sorts of safeguarding procedures have been put in place to prevent this happening but if they are not followed to the letter of course this is possible!

Has it affected me? Yes, I think it probably has contributed to the anxious person I have become. It's my earliest vivid memory and it has been quite emotional reading this thread.

OP your DD is younger than I was and I hope she doesn't remember it. Part of why it was traumatic for me was my mum took me with her to have it out with the parent whose fault it was so I was witness to this horrendous row about whether it was my 'own fault' or not (I was 3 ffs!) so where your DD is concerned I think you are doing exactly the right thing playing it down and acting normal. Kick up an absolute stink (calmy and through the correct channels of course) with the people responsible though.

Hope today goes well and that you get some good quality, safe provision sorted very soon.

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Thanks for the update, I am shocked they are open as usual today but as another poster said, they'll be being watched very closely and are probably the 'safest' nursery in the area right now.

What would be achieved by telling the papers is that present and future parents will be able to make a judgement call about the nursery.

I'm in favour of telling the papers because the nursery doesn't seem to be telling the parents itself. I know its early days, maybe there will be a letter in the bags at the end of the day, but if it turns out they are hushing it up, then I think, if the OP can bear it, the other parents would appreciate knowing.

It seems to me that most posters on this thread would want to know, maybe I am wrong.

A nursery is a business. I don't see any reason to protect them if they are for whatever reason failing to take proper care of the kids. Nurseries charge enough

Glad your DD is ok and that this is all being dealt with properly by the relevant authorities :)

I'm sorry but checking all toilets are empty is basic stuff, there is no way I would again entrust them with my child's care. And I would make sure I had informed every parent as to the nursery's failings.

What do you expect to happen?

I expect it would force the nursery to inform parents of what had happened and what was being done to improve things. Instead of not telling parents anything. If the nursery had sent out a letter to all parents this morning then I certainly wouldn't be advocating a sad face photo in the local paper.

I expect on an individual basis, parents will make their own informed decision on how to proceed

No doubt some parents would just keep a close eye on things. Others, esp if they already had concerns may make the informed decision to remove their child.

Word of mouth doesn't always reach everyone and often loses as much in translation as the local paper.

I don't want to see anyone 'crucified' but I think parents with small children at this nursery are entitled to know when there has been such a grave failing. Because they should know what steps are being taken to ensure it never happens again. Also, in case this incident is indicative of other failings.

I don't agree with talkinpeace at all.

It's about transparency and other parents should know about this fuck up and have the opportunity to withdraw their child if they wish. This incident is big and I certainly would prefer to know about it if I had a child in this setting.

I agree that 'where there is smoke..' And can imagine that if this happen a range of other fuck ups are likely to happen.

Mistakes are human which is why there are systems and procedures in place to minimise the adverse effect of that.

I personally would definitely look into getting legal advice as OP was indeed in a contract with the child care provider who have not stuck to their side of the deal, I.e. Keep a child safe at all times.

I wonder if the nursery nurse who was left in charge of this child will be fired. I seriously bloody hope so.