Nursery went home and left dd!

[lookingfortheanswer]

Posting here for traffic, I don't have an aibu.

Went to pick up dd from nursery this afternoon and found the whole place locked up and nobody there. After frantically calling, banging on doors, checking nobody else had picked her up we managed to contact the neighbouring school. The staff who were still there were amazing, helped us to get into the building where we found dd on the toilet, on her own, lights off and doors closed, staff gone home. It took us half an hour to get in so she was there at least that long. She was obviously very upset but is now home and fine and drinking lemonade as a treat while I try to stop shaking.

Obviously this is a huge safeguarding issue and there is no way she is going back. The head of the neighbouring school has been in touch and is organising a meeting for the morning.

Any advice on where to go from here, who to complain to? Should we get legal advice? I am so so angry!

OP, what a truly horrifying experience for you and your DD. I have a 2yr old DGD who attends a pre-school and the thought of that happening to her or any other child makes me feel sick.

I hope your DD is ok and soon forgets all about what happened and that you soon find a safer place for her. If something like this happened at my DGD's school I would certainly want to be told about it so we could decide whether to keep her there or not.

We trust these people to take care of our precious little ones and any failure to do so should result in serious consequences.

Good luck to you and your family in getting a happy outcome.

I'm glad the nastier posts have been deleted. Cruel and selfish to put their need to be clever and penetrating above your need to be heard and supported. Not what makes mumsnet great. But I suspect the people involved will have no problem with their own behaviour. Ugh.

Anyway, so glad you're ok and I suspect your little one may have already forgotten, not knowing the risks and danger she was in.

Shocked the nursery are hiding this from other parents.

Thanks for the update OP.

I believed you all along and said so. I have worked in daycare in the past.

I hope you and DD are okay. You are bound to be still angry and upset today.

sorry OP. Missed your update in my haste to rant.

I'm glad the nursery were mortified. That at least is satisfying. But it's a mistake for them not to tell the parents - it will come out anyway.

I'm glad you and DD are ok. What a fright - what a horrible, horrible fright. I can't imagine what you must have been thinking while you tried to get in. But thank god DD safe and sound. She sounds v calm and will no doubt be right as rain. But that's not to let anyone off the hook here. I'm sure it will take some time for your blood pressure to go back to normal. Good luck with next steps and finding a nice new place for DD.

Interesting responses on here. I think by somehow apportioning some blame to the parents involved we, as parents, try to make ourselves feel safer with regards to our own childcare providers. eg. that will never happen to my DC because I'd never be late

Hope it works out OK OP

Looking - I really hope the nursery gets prosecuted. Another vote for telling every single person you know.

I think that if the nursery is otherwise sound, it is likely now to be the best safeguarded one in the area.

Can't see the point of sueing as mentioned above.

• you haven't suffered monetary loss or injury
• it will only put up nursery costs/fees for everyone else (even if insurance pays, the costs of insurance will go up)
• its not like they wanted to forget your child
• Ofsted/LA will now make sure their procedures are watertight

Put it behind you and move on. Your DD was OK, that's the main thing.

Forago - surely the nursery staff going home after all the children had "gone" is the most mundane/ordinary bit of the whole thing?

Hello Looking. Thanks for coming back, ignore the arseholes. I hope the worry and stress abate soon.

OFSTEAD reports rarely reflect the seriousness of incidents or thr details. If you want other parents to know you need to either tell one to tell the others or go public.

We recently found out there was much more to an incident a while ago but we've still lost trust in the Nursery and pulled our child out.

no its not. a load of staff going hone before a nursery's published closing time (before 6pm by the sounds of it) is very odd. In my DC nursery they would still be clearing up, taking bins out and if all children had gone before published closing time of 6.30 pm they would take the opportunity to catch up on planning/paperwork or just sit in the office and have a chat.

Hope you get a good alternative childcare sorted soon.

I believe the other parents have a right to know (I'd certainly want to) and decide if they feel 'it will be the best safeguarded nursery around' or can longer trust the staff there with their children.

Could you text, facebook or indeed leaflet as an earlier poster suggested?! Word will soon get round, as it should.

What has happened is terrible but if they were shut today you wouldn't suffer. It would be other parents who use the nursery. If you want them to know you could ring them but why don't you give the authorities the chance to sort the nursery out before phoning the media?

Did they give an explanation as to what happened?

Thanks for updating op, glad you all managed to get some sleep.

You sound like you are handling it all brilliantly. Like you I would be tempted to let other parents know.

Glad dd is OK and that the nursery heads and early years heads are horrified and apologetic.

Hope you find another place for your dd somewhere a lot better very soon.

Appalling that they are being dishonest with the other families, though. Lying by omission. Parents should be told so that they can make their own judgements about whether they believe this nursery will be extra-careful from now on or not.

Please do not get lawyers involved.
All that will happen is that the lawyers will get richer and everybody else will suffer.
The nursery will shut, people will lose their jobs rather than learn from the experience.
Other parents will be up a creek without a paddle.

Of course Forago, if that's what happens in your DC's nursery then that must be the case in every nursery.

ffs have you no shame?

Forago - plenty of people who have worked in nurseries and parents who use nurseries have said on this very thread that it is common practice for nurseries to close once the children have all gone home. If the OP's DD had been the only child left for the final hour or so, the staff would have had plenty of time to finish up for the day. Why, just because it's different to your personal experience, are you so determined to dismiss the experiences of others?

The point of shutting the nursery is not to inconvenience other parents.

It's to make sure the nursery is genuinely a safe place and check the standard of their other procedures.

Personally I wouldn't want my toddler in a setting that was unsafe while the authorities 'sorted it out'.

OP, sorry to bold, but I'm worried you've missed my post upthread. I know you are okay with this thread being outed as you, but are you okay with it being linked to your posting history as G... As i said, your partners posts link to your usual (i assume, as it is old and also currently used) posting name?

'The nursery have no plans to tell the other parents, and are open this morning, which I find pretty awful.'

How bloody unsurprising.

I hope you yell your tale from the rooftops OP.

Quite, PoI. I'd be horrified if I discovered this about a nursery my child was attending.

OP thanks for the update and I don't think anyone would blame you for being angry and bewildered. Right now it's your job to protect you and your family, and secondary to that to try to ensure that this is taken seriously by investigators. It sounds like that ball is rolling now so take a deep breath and try to let go of the panic a bit.

Personally I wouldn't go to the papers - anything that would pick up the story is likely scaremongering and not too faithful with the truth. It's unlikely to be a decision you'll be happy with down the line. I would, however, want to tell every parent I know, and all the childminders, so people can spread the word. While I don't doubt that this is a horrible accident I would want to know about this if it happened at my child's place of care. I don't think that would be unreasonable. I certainly wouldn't sue - more stress, uncertain outcome, and in my opinion not appropriate at all to the situation. It could affect your credibility as things move forward too.

Good luck.

OP do you not have the option of making the choice if you want to press charges? Rather than the LA making this call.

I believe this can happen. A five year old boy was left behind after a school trip in the town I used to live in, everyone else got on the coach, and it drove off without him. Some tourists found him walking along the beach in tears and called the police.

Glad your daughter is okay OP!