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Original poster

Nursery went home and left dd!

999 replies

lookingfortheanswer · 28/04/2014 18:36

Posting here for traffic, I don't have an aibu.

Went to pick up dd from nursery this afternoon and found the whole place locked up and nobody there. After frantically calling, banging on doors, checking nobody else had picked her up we managed to contact the neighbouring school. The staff who were still there were amazing, helped us to get into the building where we found dd on the toilet, on her own, lights off and doors closed, staff gone home. It took us half an hour to get in so she was there at least that long. She was obviously very upset but is now home and fine and drinking lemonade as a treat while I try to stop shaking.

Obviously this is a huge safeguarding issue and there is no way she is going back. The head of the neighbouring school has been in touch and is organising a meeting for the morning.

Any advice on where to go from here, who to complain to? Should we get legal advice? I am so so angry!

OP posts:
TheScience · 29/04/2014 09:22

That poor kid CMOTD!

Falconi · 29/04/2014 09:25

CMOTDibbler Good on you for reporting. Did you find a good nursery in the end?

The amount of parents who are fooled by beautiful websites and nice settings, without actually going round for proper visits or asking relevant questions/observing the right things are staggering...

I know parents who chose certain nurseries based on the most superficial reasons.

not saying this is the OP's case

Dancergirl · 29/04/2014 09:26

I'm just wondering - shouldn't what happened be communicated to other parents using the nursery? Surely the nursery should be closed today pending further investigation?

Goldmandra · 29/04/2014 09:26

CMOTD?

Forago · 29/04/2014 09:26

I can't believe people saying they don't believe this incident happened. OK it could be trolling or made up (though why would any normal person bother?) - but all sorts of bad things happen in the world and there have been a few incidences in nurseries (well reported in the press) eg the paedophile nursery nurse. I don't see why its so unbelievable that there are truly crap nurseries out there, as well as the very good ones. also one shutdown where a baby was strangled in their cot by a dangling blind cord. hence why now they aren't left dangling, and why risk assessment procedures are in place.

please cone back and let us know what the nursery say op

CrystalSkulls · 29/04/2014 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

500smiles · 29/04/2014 09:29

There are two schools and two nurserys in close proximity in our village, they all have disaster / contingency measures that involve relocating the children to each others sites, so I can well imagine the OP running to the school as a logical step, assuming that that is where her DD was taken to.

They are all managed by the same caretaker team too.

OP I hope you and your DD are ok today.

BornOfFrustration · 29/04/2014 09:30

I can see how this could happen. I have called and looked round a nursery at 5pm and upstairs where DD would have gone was locked up and in darkness, with all remaining children rammed into one room. Not just a few children either, about 20. Some nurseries like to save money by sending staff home early.

Toddlers are slippery little things and that combined with a staff member not doing proper checks and sign out procedures being wishy washy can give you a missing child quite easily.

Hope your DD is ok and none the wiser.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 29/04/2014 09:30

"I'm just wondering - shouldn't what happened be communicated to other parents using the nursery? Surely the nursery should be closed today pending further investigation?"

It's clear from the OP and her DP's posts that the council is aware of the incident and yes, they may well make that decision, or send over someone to supervise all day.

Sigyn · 29/04/2014 09:35

The reason I think there is a good chance of it getting to the press is that if the nursery is shut, even temporarily, there will be a LOT of parents involved and a lot of shock and I'd expect at least one of those parents to have a chat with their local paper/know someone/etc.

I wouldn't necessarily expect the OP to go to the press but I'd be surprised if no one did. Especially if the nursery does not handle itself amazingly well in PR terms, and possibly even then.

The other parents will certainly find out what has happened and I'd be quite surprised if many who had a choice kept their kids there (although I actually agree that its probably going to be the safest nursery in the UK for the foreseeable future!).

I seriously doubt that many parents using the nursery will be saying "oh yes, mistakes happen, forgetting a child hadn't gone home, no biggie" Hmm

Groovee · 29/04/2014 09:36

When I worked in the baby room, one of the parents told me of a nursery nearby where ours was, who'd gone to a country park and left a child behind. The park ranger remembered the name of the bus company and called them, who called the nursery, who dispatched someone to collect the child, then told the parent that the child had got lost, but the child kept saying they were left behind and the park ranger had looked after her. She called the bus company to clarify and they told her and the nursery were reported. A few days after, it appeared in the press.

One of the nursery assistants who worked with me, told me once the parent had left, that she went to college with some of the girls who worked there and that she had been horrified by some of the stories which they told, such as being over their allowed numbers and shipping children off when the people who did inspections etc turned up unannounced to the park or for walks with trainees because they would have got in to trouble for it.

We definitely led a sheltered life, in my private nursery and worked by the rule book on everything. So I was shocked to hear all this.

AlwaysLookOnBrightsideOfLife · 29/04/2014 09:40

I hope you and your dd are okay OP. Good luck for the meeting today.

notapizzaeater · 29/04/2014 09:42

Hope you get some answers today

juneybean · 29/04/2014 09:53

Lol at nurseries having a cleaner. Fat chance as soon as ratios were low enough one person was released to go and clean the whole nursery. Back breaking after a long shift in a nursery.

Groovee · 29/04/2014 09:55

Juney, the private nursery I worked in had cleaners. They used to arrive at mine at 5.30pm and start cleaning then go to the other nursery and clean there at about 7pm. They've just opened a new nursery and they have a new cleaner team for there as the cleaners for the other 2 have declined to clean a 3rd one.

juneybean · 29/04/2014 10:02

You were very lucky then!

upyourninja · 29/04/2014 10:02

I hope you, your DD, and your DP had a decent night and are taking the day off today to regroup and figure out what reporting needs to happen.

As the parent of a two year old this thread gave me a visceral reaction and I feel horrified that this could happen. What a relief that she was uninjured - I hope largely unaffected emotionally too.

And this is plain nosiness but I really, really want to know what the response from the nursery will be. I'm amazed that they didn't find out last night - I'm persuaded that no one would ever abandon a child in this setting on purpose so it will be a (well-deserved) shock and horror to them when they hear about it this morning. I hope some major apologies are on the way to you today.

Good luck.

CalamitouslyWrong · 29/04/2014 10:04

We saw some really dire nurseries when we needed to find one for DS2. One memorable one smelt very strongly of damp and had the most chaotic room for 0-2 imaginable. It had kitchen work surfaces down one end piled high with dirty plates and cutlery and stuff and the children were wandering around pulling stuff down off the worktops on to themselves. And there was nowhere for the children to sleep. The babies got put down on some cushions on the corner, while the toddlers wandered around them/climbed over them, etc.

And that was what they were happy to show prospective customers. Imagine what they weren't showing us.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 29/04/2014 10:16

"I'm amazed that they didn't find out last night"

The nursery manager may well have heard from children's services last night and been advised not to contact OP until the formal meeting.

Good luck today OP.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 29/04/2014 10:17

(Nursery staff also gather children in one room after tea at my nursery and start cleaning around 1715)

NeedsAsockamnesty · 29/04/2014 10:21

scottishmummy

I did say that the recording is not admissible but a transcript of that recording would not be.

It is a perfectly legal action.

It's also not a provocative act because only the person making the recording would even know about it.

It can often be incredibly helpful to record meetings and other important things at times of great stress just to help you keep track or make sure you fully understand what has happened what took place and making sure you haven't forgotten anything.

It is neither provocative or a 007 tactic.

Provocative would be saying " I'm going to record this because I don't trust you"

SybilRamkin · 29/04/2014 10:25

OMG, just read the whole thread, your poor DD and poor you! Hope the meeting goes well today.

frankie001 · 29/04/2014 10:28

So glad you dd is OK, hope you bet answers at your meeting today.

upyourninja · 29/04/2014 10:28

doctrine yes, I wondered as I posted if the nursery might have been instructed to stay silent on the issue. Even so, surely first instincts would be to contact the parent and check that the child was ok. How awful for all concerned. I suppose the nursery now has a vested interest in finding out exactly how this happened and wouldn't want to be seen to make admissions when they are themselves unsure how it came about. (Assuming, of course, that they are decent human beings. Am aware that this may be naive on my part.)

WilsonFrickett · 29/04/2014 10:29

Yep, if the nursery manager is the owner she won't be phoning to say sorry, because that's admitting she got it terribly, terribly wrong.