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AIBU?

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Original poster

Nursery went home and left dd!

999 replies

lookingfortheanswer · 28/04/2014 18:36

Posting here for traffic, I don't have an aibu.

Went to pick up dd from nursery this afternoon and found the whole place locked up and nobody there. After frantically calling, banging on doors, checking nobody else had picked her up we managed to contact the neighbouring school. The staff who were still there were amazing, helped us to get into the building where we found dd on the toilet, on her own, lights off and doors closed, staff gone home. It took us half an hour to get in so she was there at least that long. She was obviously very upset but is now home and fine and drinking lemonade as a treat while I try to stop shaking.

Obviously this is a huge safeguarding issue and there is no way she is going back. The head of the neighbouring school has been in touch and is organising a meeting for the morning.

Any advice on where to go from here, who to complain to? Should we get legal advice? I am so so angry!

OP posts:
bochead · 28/04/2014 21:22

Be very careful about how you make your complaint OP. Complaining is more likely to put YOU under the SS CP spotlight, as discreditiing you is the easiest way for the nursery to cover their backs. I know that seems very unfair but that's life.

It'd be easier simply to change nurseries and let other parents know why when the opportunity arises to do so quietly.

kimlo · 28/04/2014 21:22

Clam there has to be a member of management on site at all time if children are there, so there would have to be a manager there to close up.

Itsfab · 28/04/2014 21:23

FunnFoot's 21:03 could also be read either way.

Canthisonebeused · 28/04/2014 21:24

If this so OP you very much should call the police. The person responsible could face charges of ill treatment if not abandonment or something similarly linked to neglect, causing a child to suffer and iltreatment

LottieAndTheDinosaur · 28/04/2014 21:25

Oh my god OP this is absolutely horrendous.

I'm glad your DD is doing ok. You must be so furious and shaken up by what has happened - hope you are doing ok.

clam · 28/04/2014 21:25

kimlo that makes it even worse then. I think.

Gurnie · 28/04/2014 21:26

How can the op possibly be blamed in these circumstances bochead? No matter whether she was late or even very late, which in any case she wasn't!!!

FunnyFoot · 28/04/2014 21:26

What wrong with my post?

Gurnie · 28/04/2014 21:27

Simply changing nurseries on the quiet and then subtlely telling others why later is ridiculous. This is a serious "mistake" which absolutely needs looking into.

ICanSeeTheSun · 28/04/2014 21:28

Bochead why would the op be in trouble.

She has a contract with the nursery, the nursery is ofstead/eystyn approved place for children.

This is no way the OP fault.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 28/04/2014 21:28

OP so glad the HT is helping so much, even of she's 'just doing her job', she's doing it well and is a reassuring presence in such an awful disaster just waiting to happen.

I can see how this can happen, ds nursery are really slack about their signing sheets - to the point where I didn't even know they had them for the first few months Shock

There but for the grace of god go I...

jackandjilly · 28/04/2014 21:29

I'm at a loss for words here. Hope you are both ok now. More wine for you I think you need it. ????

Zamboni · 28/04/2014 21:30

OP so shocked to read this but glad your DD seems ok.

Has DP spoken to the police now?

bochead · 28/04/2014 21:30

Had comparable safeguarding issues with my own child (SN's) and learnt the hard way. When jobs are on the line closing ranks to cover up is very common. Teflon shoulder syndrome isn't just limited to the banking sector.

phantomnamechanger · 28/04/2014 21:30

I find it incredible that some childcare settings can still be so lax.
Mistakes like this, kids left behind on trips, poor supervision round water, wrong child being handed over to an adult etc SHOULD NOT HAPPEN.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 28/04/2014 21:31

Please ignore this advice from Bochead, which however well meaning is really not the right approach. I think it's safe to say you won't have your family torn apart by the evil ss for complaining about a nursery leaving your child in highly risky circumstances.

"Be very careful about how you make your complaint OP. Complaining is more likely to put YOU under the SS CP spotlight, as discreditiing you is the easiest way for the nursery to cover their backs"

HenI5 · 28/04/2014 21:31

The insinuation that it was somehow suspicious or odd that the OP had only posted the once and then buggered off

No. You misinterpret.
I wasn't insinuating, I was commenting on what I saw and from what I've read since, I wasn't the only one who had a similar lag on updates and I said I wouldn't comment before more information which I didn't.

At the time I posted there was no information about what time the nursery should be open till and no indication of the time parents arrived, or of usual procedure - all of which would've informed the reader from the start.

I can see the updates now. Feel for the OP and her little girl.
Can't begin to fathom how staff would overlook a child in their care and lock up half an hour before closing time, presumably satisfied that everything was OK.

Clearly with the information given this is a very serious situation. I'm glad that the little one was safe and hadn't come to any serious harm.

I'm not quite sure how I'd proceed to be honest. Possibly the Council and/or OFSTED but very carefully worded, perhaps to say less would be more and let them ask their questions to draw out the full failure of care.

Goldmandra · 28/04/2014 21:32

Complaining is more likely to put YOU under the SS CP spotlight

Nice bit of scaremongering there, bochead. There is absolutely no way the nursery could defend themselves by blaming the OP for this. She could hardly have created this situation herself.

scottishmummy · 28/04/2014 21:33

How dreadful.she'll get over it,you'll be troubled for longer. Can you debrief with anyone?
Call children and families team local authority social work and ask they open safeguarding
The safeguarding category is Institutional abuse - their omission resulted in poor practice

Rosa · 28/04/2014 21:33

OMG ...I am horrified for you no apology would be enough for me .....at all. I hooe that the right actions are taken on your behalf.

Sigyn · 28/04/2014 21:34

I really would NOT be put off complaining because of fears you might be put under the spotlight.

I've made a serious child protection complaint (basically, incredibly poor cp procedures which resulted in a guy with actual red flag convictions getting unsupervised access to the kids). NO ONE was interested in me or my kids. FWIW we home educate the older ones, which could easily have been a red flag. Their priority will be to sort this.

Please do go to OFSTED, the police, anyone. This is utterly piss poor and I would personally wonder what other corners are being cut.

BumPotato · 28/04/2014 21:34

Maybe another parent signed out on the wrong line on the sheet (I've done that before). Then a worker noticed the box wasn't signed for the other parent's child and ticked that child out?

Hope you are okay OP, you'd be scraping me off the ceiling.

QOD · 28/04/2014 21:35

Wowow, poor dd!!

scottishmummy · 28/04/2014 21:35

Yes local authority will want to know to hold the nursery and manager accountable

Sigyn · 28/04/2014 21:35

Oh and just to add, you did everything right from what I can see and have the head as a witness. Any mudslinging by the nursery will be recognised as such :-)