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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

friend is suddenly demanding property back that I may or may not have mixed up when we lived together

90 replies

SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 14:54

Me and my friend lived together. She moved out first and left a lot of stuff that she gradually picked up.

When I moved out I pretty much packed everything unused into boxes and put it in a friend of a friends garage.

Now fast forward two year later my friend is asking about some tablecloth that I said I might have seen and packed up.

She is now sending messages like "I need this asap", "I've given you ample warning yet you won't give me my property back" and "I won't lend you anything else until you give this back".

Really pissed me off as I never borrowed it in the first place, it was her lack of organisation that lost it and now is acting as if I stole it. Don't really want to spend hours going through boxes as she's all of a sudden demanded said item back. She has visited a stayed at my place 5 times and never once asked about this item.

Not sure what to do, have been ignoring texts as found them so rude and offensive I didn't want to say what I thought back to her.

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 26/04/2014 14:57

If you trust her not to nick your stuff, and your friend of a friend is amenable, can she go and root through the boxes?

ruby1234 · 26/04/2014 14:57

Tell her you've had a look through the stuff and the tablecloth isn't there.

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 14:58

She can, but isn't massively convenient as its 200+ miles away from her and at a location you would need a car for and doesn't have a car.

OP posts:
TheGirlFromIpanema · 26/04/2014 14:59

Tell her you've had a quick look through your packed up boxes and can't see it. Say you assume you must've left it behind at the rented house.

What exactly is she going to do about it do you think? Confused

CoffeeTea103 · 26/04/2014 14:59

Sorry this isn't a friend. Who behaves like that in any case. It's probably more than a table cloth issue.

rookiemater · 26/04/2014 15:00

Is all the stuff in the garage hers? If so then you can kill this dead :

"(Un)friend. When you left all your stuff after moving out I had to parcel it all up. As I did not have room for it, it is stored in Friend Ys garage. If you take all your stuff away then you may find the tablecloth. It would be good for Friend Y to get his garage space back."

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 15:00

I was going to be her plus one at a wedding in a couple of weeks. Annoyed me so much really don't want to do it. She cancelled the night before a weekend away tother last month, so don't feel like I owe her anything.

OP posts:
AuntySib · 26/04/2014 15:01

Well, you could email her back saying you packed up her stuff into boxes as a favour to her as she had left it behind and you weren't sure whether she wanted it, and that she can collect it all from wherever it is stored. Give her the contact details and then wash your hands of it!
She sounds a bit cheeky tbh! Make it very clear that you were doing her the favour!

ENormaSnob · 26/04/2014 15:03

Text back "oh fuck off"

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 26/04/2014 15:03

Tell her she should have thought about the table cloth two sodding years ago when she moved out.

Tinkerball · 26/04/2014 15:04

Why havent you spoke to her and pointed out you didnt borrow it, she left it behind.

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 15:04

Unfortunately the stuff is all mixed up, her tablecloth is 99% going to be there. But seeing as its taken years to miss it, i feel no obligation to root through as a matter of urgency to find it.

OP posts:
Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 15:05

I did tell her I didn't borrow it and don't blame me for loosing things. Since then just getting texts like "you ok? Xx"

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 26/04/2014 15:05

Unless the tablecloth is weaved by fairies out of solid gold after 2 years she is acting like a total loon.

tell her you have no idea where it is, might have got left behind at the flat.

AuntySib · 26/04/2014 15:05

Well, you could email her back saying you packed up her stuff into boxes as a favour to her as she had left it behind and you weren't sure whether she wanted it, and that she can collect it all from wherever it is stored. Give her the contact details and then wash your hands of it!
She sounds a bit cheeky tbh! Make it very clear that you were doing her the favour!

MaryPoppinsBag · 26/04/2014 15:09

Fucking hell it's a table cloth! Is it a family heirloom? Shock

Tell her to bog off!

MaryWestmacott · 26/04/2014 15:09

I'd probably go with Ruby's suggestion and tell her you've had a look and can't find it, so she must have either taken it with her or left it behind.

If there's a lot of her stuff at your othre friend's place, then I'd tell her other friend needs her space back, does she want to go get it all or if not, other friend will be taking all the boxes to the tip. It might not be accessable, but she's not bothered about it all for a while, she can't really want/need it. (I have a pet hate about people who use other people's houses to store all their crap, it's just about acceptable if it's your parents house and you used to live there, but even then, if you don't need something, get rid of it, don't treat everyone else's homes as your storage facility)

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 15:11

Apparently it was her grandmothers.

But still it sounds pretty ordinary. I have a bed spread from my grandmother that she knitted herself when she was a student, and I really value it so have had it years without ever leaving it behind when I move.

OP posts:
Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 15:14

Thanks, think "had a look and couldn't find it" is what I will do.

Wouldn't dare look for it now as I'd probably burn it.

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 26/04/2014 15:15

She's taking the piss OP.

MaryWestmacott · 26/04/2014 15:15

Well if it was her grandmothers and she's suddenly decided it's important, tell her you've look at your house and you don't have it. That you've got some boxes stored at other friend's garage, she's welcome to go have a look there, but you aren't going there in the near future, so it's down to her to get herself organised and collect all her stuff. (Although if you do this and she does go, don't be surprised if she takes a lot of your stuff at the same time.)

Beastofburden · 26/04/2014 15:15

Not worth taking offence over. She's probably just remembered it and is feeling sentimental. Maybe she has got a nice flat or something.

Just a simple, "sure, it's probably with all the stuff that you left behind and got stored in xxs garage, I'm sure he'd be happy for you to go round and have a root through for it". But be prepared, it's probably mouldy by now, you want her to recognise it was her own fault for not taking it earlier.

heymammy · 26/04/2014 15:16

Text her this: "you're being really rude about this [insert friends name], it's like you think I've stolen your stuff. Everything you left behind is packed in boxes at x place, the earliest I can head over there is y date [insert random future date], if you need it before then, you will need to go and look yourself."

She is being weird. Maybe it's her family's and her mum is wanting it back?

TheNewSchmoo · 26/04/2014 15:19

But you do know where it is. Unless I've missed something I think you're being quite mean. Just because the table cloth, to you, is "pretty ordinary", doesn't mean it doesn't hold significance for her.

You know you have it, she knows you have it, why can't you say, it's in boxes in a garage, I won't be able to get it until whenever unless you want to look yourself. It all seems unnecessarily aggressive!

Bloodyteenagers · 26/04/2014 15:21

Phone her back (why do people insist on sending text for everything?) and tell her straight, look, you left the house, you should have taken everything with you. You didn't. I am not responsible for your shit for the rest of my fucking life. I moved out 2 years ago, and you suddenly remember about a mundane bloody table cloth.. You do realise that you can walk into plenty of stores and buy another one. I am not a bloody thief, you are just a lazy ingrate.

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