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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

friend is suddenly demanding property back that I may or may not have mixed up when we lived together

90 replies

SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 14:54

Me and my friend lived together. She moved out first and left a lot of stuff that she gradually picked up.

When I moved out I pretty much packed everything unused into boxes and put it in a friend of a friends garage.

Now fast forward two year later my friend is asking about some tablecloth that I said I might have seen and packed up.

She is now sending messages like "I need this asap", "I've given you ample warning yet you won't give me my property back" and "I won't lend you anything else until you give this back".

Really pissed me off as I never borrowed it in the first place, it was her lack of organisation that lost it and now is acting as if I stole it. Don't really want to spend hours going through boxes as she's all of a sudden demanded said item back. She has visited a stayed at my place 5 times and never once asked about this item.

Not sure what to do, have been ignoring texts as found them so rude and offensive I didn't want to say what I thought back to her.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2014 15:22

How annoying. if the tablecloth was of huge importance she would have taken it with her.
Are you sure all the stuff is still in 'friend of a friend's garage'? Hope they haven't had a clearout.

If a friend of a friend had left stuff in my garage for 2 years I probably would have chucked it by now.

MaryWestmacott · 26/04/2014 15:24

Sparklingbrook makes a good point, I wouldn't store someone else's stuff for 2 years, if you want any of it, go get it yoruself in the next couple of weeks. If her table cloth is there, great, if not, tell her. You could suggest she speaks to the old landlord to see if they've stored it, good luck with that though...

spottydolphin · 26/04/2014 15:24

tbh if you said that you might have seen it and packed it up i don't think it's that unreasonable of her to ask you to have a look for it!

i agree that she's getting a bit worked up about it all, but I can also understand how annoying it is if someone might have something of yours and is apparently utterly unwilling to even check if it's there.

i'd prob have a quick look for it, and then text back if you find it or not.

rookiemater · 26/04/2014 15:25

I wouldn't tell her that you lost it a) it isn't true and b) it gives her (very shaky) real grounds to be annoyed at you.

Tell her where it is, but be prepared for the noble person who has been storing your stuff for 2 years to tell you both to come and collect it. What do you have round there yourself that you haven't needed for 2 years?. To be honest I think it's quite rude to store stuff with someone you don't even know for that long, so perhaps use this as an opportunity to take it all away.

spottydolphin · 26/04/2014 15:26

or yes... tell her where it is and let her go have a look herself?

MelonadeAgain · 26/04/2014 15:26

Its such unreasonable behaviour on her part, I'd be wondering if she didn't have some hidden agenda. Did she accuse you (wrongly) of using her stuff when you shared together? Or do you think she will try and get money out of you to pay for this tablecloth? Why doesn't she just buy a new tablecloth?! Are there any other items involved?

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2014 15:27

I might store it for a v close friend but even then after about 3 months I would have been 'do you need any of that stuff because I want my garage back'.

Are you ever planning to get your stuff back from there SS?

KellyHopter · 26/04/2014 15:29

Don't say you've looked but can't find it. In effect what you'd be doing there is punishing her for being a twat by withholding her property.

She's being an idiot, and you definitely shouldn't put yourself out for her but you say yourself it's in the garage so tell her she can look for it.

It's her fault she left it behind, her fault she's left it so long and was a kindness on your part that you boxed it up and put it somewhere secure - you've done more than enough there is no reason at all why she should be expecting you to do the donkey work here.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 26/04/2014 15:32

How on earth is the OP being mean?

If her friend wanted her stuff she should have packed it up herself when she moved out. It wasn't the op's job to pack it up and sort out storage for it, for 2 bloody years! FFS!

If your stuff is that important you get it straight away. It's not the op's problem.

MelonadeAgain · 26/04/2014 15:41

Does she make a habit of expecting other people to run around after her?

JingletsJangletsYellowBanglets · 26/04/2014 15:41

I'm with the posters who say why do you have boxes of stuff you can't be bothered to open stored in someone's garage for 2 years? What's the plan, store it there indefinitely til you move to a bigger place? You need to go clear your stuff, put all of her stuff separate and tell her she can pick it up by x day or arrange for a courier. Otherwise, charity shop.

sarinka · 26/04/2014 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 26/04/2014 16:07

'I took all the crap left behind in that flat to the charity shop. It's long gone.'

Original poster

SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 16:07

To the people saying I'm being mean by not wanting to look. To look through all this stuff is a big task and would take the best part of a day and I don't understand the sudden rush.

Its in a friends storage as I've collected a lot, downsized and hoping to move somewhere bigger.

The friend that has it lives alone in a 5 bed barn conversion where part of the planning permission means she had to have 4 garages. All of which are too narrow to even fit her car in. She offered to store the stuff as storage was expensive and has all these guarages that are sitting unused. Might give her an email to check if this is still ok.

OP posts:

phantomnamechanger · 26/04/2014 16:09

here's a plan.....

I'm sure loads of us have table cloths lurking in dark forgotten places, that we do not want or need or ever intend using. How about you PM us all her address and we all send them to her with "is it this one?" on a note pinned to it? she will have more table cloths than the queen.

either that or tell her she can't have it back as you used it to wrap the body in

expatinscotland · 26/04/2014 16:09

Why did you bother? If my mate left a load of rubbish behind I'd have told her to either clear it out before inspection or it's going to the wheelie bin.

Fairenuff · 26/04/2014 16:13

Just be honest with her. Tell her you think it's in one of the boxes and you don't have time to go and look but she is welcome to look for herself.

Original poster

SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 16:13

Expact, I'm the guilty one for collecting lots of shit (I've even got a grandfather clock in storage!) and most of the stuff is mine, but there might be one or two bits of hers. Don't know why buy I have problems getting rid of stuff.

OP posts:

maddening · 26/04/2014 16:14

tell her next time she is down with a car you'll go with her and sort it all out but she needs to make sure it is everything this time.

Topaz25 · 26/04/2014 16:14

My best friend used to have a housemate like yours. Moved out quite suddenly then left her stuff in the spare room for about 2 years (while not paying any rent or storage fees, naturally). Every excuse in the book. Then suddenly she wanted to pick it up ASAP and was really rude about my friend on social media when she wasn't instantly available. They're no longer friends. Your former housemate doesn't sound like a friend either. "Ample warning" WTAF? I would simply tell her very clearly that you do not have any of her possessions and you did not borrow them. You did her the favour of packing them up for her and she never picked them up so you assume they are still in friend of a friend's garage but it has been two years. I would text rather than phone because then you won't get upset, there won't be any misunderstandings and you will have evidence of the conversation if necessary, since she is basically accusing you of taking her stuff.

fidelineish · 26/04/2014 16:17

@ phantom

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2014 16:27

I am intrigued as to how her stuff ended up all jumbled up with yours. I would have done separate boxes and told her to come and get it. Or told her to come and sort her own stuff 2 years ago. I think you went above and beyond.

But that's a bit by the by. It's an old tablecloth, not her birth certificate or irreplaceable family photographs or anything.

Original poster

SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 16:30

Sparklingbrook just my lack of planning and raming everything left behind into boxes in the mad rush of moving places.

OP posts:

fuzzpig · 26/04/2014 16:32

It probably belongs to someone else and now she's panicking as they want it back and now she's realised oh shit I left it with SS :o

clam · 26/04/2014 16:34

Who on earth "needs" a tablecloth asap?

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