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Original poster

friend is suddenly demanding property back that I may or may not have mixed up when we lived together

90 replies

SuzzieScotland · 26/04/2014 14:54

Me and my friend lived together. She moved out first and left a lot of stuff that she gradually picked up.

When I moved out I pretty much packed everything unused into boxes and put it in a friend of a friends garage.

Now fast forward two year later my friend is asking about some tablecloth that I said I might have seen and packed up.

She is now sending messages like "I need this asap", "I've given you ample warning yet you won't give me my property back" and "I won't lend you anything else until you give this back".

Really pissed me off as I never borrowed it in the first place, it was her lack of organisation that lost it and now is acting as if I stole it. Don't really want to spend hours going through boxes as she's all of a sudden demanded said item back. She has visited a stayed at my place 5 times and never once asked about this item.

Not sure what to do, have been ignoring texts as found them so rude and offensive I didn't want to say what I thought back to her.

OP posts:
Itsfab · 26/04/2014 16:35

The YOU OK? XX Texts are clearly because she realises she has acted like a twat but doesn't have the decency to apologise for her over reaction.

Don't lie and say it isn't there Hmm. Tell her you have boxed everything up and it is in X place and if she wants to go and look for it she needs to arrange that (be it with you or the garage owner.)

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2014 16:47

You are too nice SS. Grin

If you ever have a spare day go over there with her and sort it out. Otherwise she will be all 'SS I need that colander/pizza cutter/lampshade/knitted toilet roll holder every year for ever more. Sad

HappyAgainOneDay · 26/04/2014 18:44

Why didn't you keep a list of what's in each box?

BorsetshireBlue · 26/04/2014 22:49

You must have lots of spare time on your hand HappyAgain if you list the contents of every box you store away.

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 27/04/2014 08:26

Oh happy I barely had enough time to pack up and ram it into boxes!

OP posts:
Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 09:17

Sorry to bump this, but she said a text this morning saying

"What's up your quiet"

I replied

"I think you were really cheeky and offended me"

I didn't go into specifics of how she offended me

Then the reply came

"Your always getting offended!"

This has got me even angryier, she's the only person outside of work that has offended me in years! And two no appologie or thinking about her action, just blaming me.

No point in even replying to that, guess I won't be going to the wedding with her.

OP posts:
Canthisonebeused · 28/04/2014 09:29

What would have been the best thing to do is have texted her when you moved I'm moving x date have boxes of your things, you need to collect them if not they will be left at property or disposed of. Why on earth would you take someone else's stuff to store. The fact you have done that means you took responsibility for her things therefore you need to arrange to have them returned.

If I where you just go and separate all your stuff, and tell her she needs to take it all. Then the whole mess is dealt with.

Deathraystare · 28/04/2014 09:42

Yes, first of ll ask you friend with the storge space if it is all still there.

Then contact the ungrateful bitch and to reply to her "Are you OK"? "Not relly, since a friend ofmine who hasn't been to me in 2 years to collect her shit back has just used threatening language implying I had stolen her shit. Then BOTH of you can arrange a day to get it all out of the grage and decide then and there what can be chucked and what taken.
If I were you I would go no contact with her afterward.

If you don't go there with her to make sure she gets it back, then it will all start up again with some other she you "had ample time to give back to her". :(

CrapBag · 28/04/2014 09:50

Actually I think she may have a point.

Basically, you know that you have it in the garage, you packed up some of her stuff with yours (you said yourself she came back and picked up the rest of her stuff. Obviously a couple of things got over looked and now you are refusing to go and look for it because of the time and effort involved.

It doesn't matter how long it has been. This was her grandmothers, she may have only just thought "I need a tablecloth, oh I know I have my DGM" looked for it and realised she didn't have it so messaged you. You seem to be deliberately being difficult because you don't want to go and look in your stuff that you put in someones garage.

She has given you notice and you are just refusing so I don't blame her for getting shitty about it. And maybe you do take offence very easily.

allmycats · 28/04/2014 09:56

Why all the fuss - quite simply tell her where you think the tablecloth is and then it's down to her what she does about it. There is so much aggression on this post that is totally uncalled for, and there is no need to lie, so why are people suggesting you do so.

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 09:56

Crap, she gradually picked up all the stuff she left behind over the space of a year in the old flat.

She didn't just ask me to see if I

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/04/2014 09:58

Text her back that she's had two years to find her stuff, it's not your responsibility and never was and to sort it out herself.

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 09:58

Crap, she gradually picked up all the stuff she left behind over the space of a year in the old flat.

She didn't just ask me to see if I had it. She all of a sudden demanded I found it and treated me like a their. Then went on about giving me ample time and refusing to lend me anything else. She has visited my house manyh times and has never mentioned it. Then in the space of a few days demands it back and acts like I've stolen some table cloth.

OP posts:
Serenitysutton · 28/04/2014 09:59

She sounds like a total knob

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 10:01

allmycats someone (a friend) treating me like a theif and expecting me to drop what I'm doing to look for something they lost has annoyed me, that's why I'm here.

OP posts:
CrapBag · 28/04/2014 10:02

Then ask her why the sudden OTT reaction to something she hadn't realised she was missing. Instead of seething and being petty about it (which you are by refusing to look, and you still packed up some of her stuff with yours) try sorting it out instead of ignoring her texts, telling her she insulted you without saying why and thinking of lying to her about it.

OwlCapone · 28/04/2014 10:03

I didn't go into specifics of how she offended me

So, she has no idea and you won't tell her. Confused

If you bothered to say why you are "offended" maybe you could sort this out without all the teenage angst!!

Tess999 · 28/04/2014 10:09

ok i don't know why you're being cryptic with her, you both sound very childish imo.

simply state

"you have demanded a tablecloth "back" that you LEFT at the flat we shared. you left me to pack all your stuff up when you left. a friend is kindly storing it all for us. If you want it back so urgently then please feel free to go and get it. But do not instruct me to go and get it for you as it will be a big job to find it immediately. Next time i am there i will look for it. Please be clear you did not LEND me anything - you left and left all your stuff behind. I did you the favour by bothering to pack it all up and store it".

if she takes offense at this she is no friend. she should be begging you to PLEASE go and get it if she needs it so urgently. maybe she has a reason (like her mum/g'ma coming over and she has to have the tablecloth?)

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 10:11

I'm not refusing to look.I'm refusing to drop everything without notice to waste my one day off a week to travel and look for it, when I see no urgency.

I'm not going into the specifics of why I'm annoyed by her, as I don't want to get into a tit for tat argument by text. Would rather she took time herself to figure out what she's done wrong.

OP posts:
Tess999 · 28/04/2014 10:12

grow up.

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 10:13

ok i don't know why you're being cryptic with her, you both sound very childish imo.

Don't want an argument by text.

OP posts:
CrapBag · 28/04/2014 10:19

"Apparently it was her grandmothers.

But still it sounds pretty ordinary"

Basically, you don't see why it is important to her, you think it is pretty ordinary and god forbid you just ask her. You do sound petty and not once have you said that you are willing to look for it but it isn't a convenient time for you at the moment. You have made out that you are completely unwilling to go and look and you refuse to discuss it like an adult with your friend. Talk of burning it and not going to a wedding with her? Hmm Agree with Tess, grow up.

CrapBag · 28/04/2014 10:19

If you don't want an argument by text then PHONE her.

Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 10:22

Crap,I don't see why it is important to her as she left it behind when she moved out and continued to forget about it for two years. Now all of a sudden I've stolen it and have to return it asap.

Maybe I have issues with facing conflict, but really got enough on at the moment and dread receiving unpleasant texts.

OP posts:
Original poster
SuzzieScotland · 28/04/2014 10:24

No the first reply I gave her was I will look for it next time I'm there. But she asked the following day where was it.

OP posts:
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