Girldfriend's mum has banned Ds from seeing her.

[DieselSpillages]

Ds 15 and his girlfriend have been very close for 4 months now.

Girlfriend's mum phoned me up last night to say that he can't see her any more. Apparently she found a text where they were talking about smoking a joint. She now thinks Ds is a drug dealer !

Obviously I am very concerned about the smoking of cannabis but am not so naive that I don't realise lots of kids try it out.

I think her reaction is harsh as they live in the same small village and it will be difficult to police keeping them apart. She has also threatened that her older sons will get involved if necessary.

I think at their age banning them from seeing each other for ever more is a sure fire way of driving them closer.

AIBU to feel she is over reacting and being a tad unfair to entirely blame my son for this. He is completely devestated.

Yes posters like shakes Making assumptions and not reading the ops posts, the op has stated that she was not happy with her ds having over night stays and has not allowed it.

Cor blimey! Remembering my self at that age, I was no innocent young petal. Well I was, but wouldn't have thought of myself as such. Is there anyway you can sit in same room as GFs parents, have a glass of wine and disuss this? It sounds like you are coming from the same page regarding your dc's behaviour but it the histrionics on the part of the other parent that is making this a much bigger deal than it needs to be....

Jjsuk has been goading and posting random shit on other threads. Ignore!

I have read the update surb, thanks. Not sure what risky strategy it was saying the situation sounded 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, that I hoped it worked out, that the son would maybe learn from the messy situation, and also that lots of parents would have a knee jerk reaction to finding out their 15 year olds were using drugs?

The OP says in her post at 09.52 that her son 'has been smoking joints', hence my understanding that he is a cannabis user. The text inferred that the OP's son was complicit in the daughter's use and that they were planning to do it again. OP has said the daughter was smoking, but doesn't say whether that was smoking cigarettes or smoking cannabis and she hasn't said anything about the text making it clear it wasn't her son so there are other equally assuming posts on this thread too.

The mum is an ex addict, not a current user, according to OP's update. She cares that her daughter doesn't follow in her footsteps so much that she's moved out of her area to keep her daughter away from bad influences and was horrified to find it going on with OP's son. The one person in the whole group who knows the real consequences of drug use kicked off about 15 years olds using drugs and yet has been utterly slated on this thread. I do not condone the threat about the brothers (which I said earlier too) I just think the OP's son's cannabis use has been a bit minimised and the focus was on the other mum as being terrible, which I think is unfair, I still think it is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

OP, I am glad that things have calmed, your husband sounds like he handled things well. I hope your son rethinks his cannabis use and good comes from the day's drama.

And that the dd rethinks her cannabis use also of course.

you are right shakesBooty the mum was absolutely horrified to think her daughter was smoking dope again.. yes it was dope she'd been smoking previously. It touched all her buttons and she freaked. She is a single mum struggling with a tricky relationship with her daughter. I do feel for her. I think once she realised we both want the same for our Dc she calmed down a bit.

Her initial reaction blaming only my son, banning the relationship and threatening to involve the police and her older sons was not at all helpful and threatened to derail any meaningful outcome. Thankfuly DH's job involves conflict resolution and she felt safe enough to open up and communicate and feel heard.

I am genuinely pleased it has calmed OP. Hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend