AIBU to want free delivery on formula

[Tangoandcreditcards]

I'm ffing my 2 month-old. (From birth, I've had a double mastectomy) I've been stewing about this for a month.

I ordered a load of formula to be delivered to my local Boots (5 doors down, as opposed to "the high street" which is further away, it's a tiny Boots, so doesn't stock the formula I'm using in the quantity I need (hence the order).

If you spend over £20 online for store delivery online you get free delivery. So I ordered a little over £20 worth. When the transaction went through I got charged for delivery. I contacted them for a delivery refund and was told that because it was formula, they legally can't have any offers on it, and I would have to be charged (£3.95!).

I do appreciate why it's illegal advertise/promote formula for newborns, and why breastfeeding is encouraged by HCPs because I do actually understand that some women might want/need some encouragement and education to choose BFing.

However... BFing is free, FFing is not, and NO-ONE is going to switch to formula because they can get free blooming delivery on it (or loyalty points, for that matter). I feel cheated. Maybe I am just being precious about 4 quid because I'm overly sensitive about the subject. I'll obviously just get off my bum and go somewhere else to get it, but I'm enraged at the fact that I have to, it just seems like legislation taken a bit too far to me! Who can I complain to? Is it poor interpretation of the law or just that the rules don't make sense? AIBU to think that economic sanctions (!!) on FFing parents are unfair?

And....please correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the feeling from ledkr's and tango's posts that it's the fact that there is no decision but they are treated as though it was that us so hurtful

I feel the sane re the expressing. My DC cannot feed properly - even post the tongue tie snip. They just cannot transfer milk efficiently. I have seen a million lactation consultants/midwives/doulas etc. No one can properly explain why. It is not down to supply. I'm expressing 1.5 litres a day. Thankfully I can express but it is not my first choice. I would love to breast feed "naturally" but I can't.

Being treated by others as though this is somehow a choice or a decision by me, rather than me having to make the vest of things is actually very hurtful

Sarinka- the rationale for prohibiting promotion is worldwide and has quite a few aspects. For the UK examples would be:

-protecting those who ff from things like long running discounts which make them believe they can afford formula, then stop and leave them stuffed. Or persuading them into buying a 'premium' brand which they can ill afford;

• the fact that, if allowed to advertise, formula companies can get away with misleading adverts and then a slap on the wrist not to do it again (eg the Aptimil slogan);

• The general ability to push a cultural agenda (eg necessary for dads to feed to bond) that is unhelpful both generally and to mums trying to bf.

There are quite a few more....

OP you are definitely NBU!
How stupid are those rules

I would suggest ordering for home delivery...think the minimum is £40? Did a Boots order when baby was just a week old or so, ordered 4 cartons of formula and a few extra bits to qualify for free delivery.

Have to say it seems totally ridiculous for you to have to pay delivery because it's infant formula.

I was really surprised to learn you can't earn any Boots points when you buy formula...the price is the same everywhere ok fair enough.

Formula isn't cheap, v annoying you can't at least earn some points while buying it, especially considering it can never be on special offer.

OP I definitely feel your rage!!

It can't be on special offer. But Boots or anywhere else could choose to cut their profit margin and permanently price it lower. The fact that nowhere really does I think indicates that a fair bit of blaming 'the code' is just hiding behind it to maximise profits.

Gobbolino - I know there are people for whom the 'decision' or 'choice' to bf has been made 'for' them, and in the case of no breasts it is obvious to anyone that this is the case and clearly the baby absolutely needs formula (though there is a personal story on the internet of a woman in this situation who fed her baby at the breast with formula/donated milk - this is not something most women would do, and no one should even suggest this is something a mother 'should' do). What I am saying is that there are women in situations where their reason for not breastfeeding is equally powerful, to them, but it is a less obvious reason ie one you can't see on the outside, as it were :)

It should not be up to doctors to decide who has a genuine reason for not bf, and who has a non-genuine reason. It is for the mother to decide.

An alternative is for you to sign up for Waitrose online orders. You get discounts for your first 5 orders.

Each time I've ordered enough to qualify for free delivery, you pick the 2 hour slot you want, they bring it right in to your kitchen if you want.

At the online checkout I've applied the discount code and got from £5 to £25 off. As I order 4 or 5 cartons of formula each time (with a normal shop) you could say I've saved money on formula this way....or simply got a discount on my online shop.

Penguins, I'd just add other reasons to your list of why promotions and advertising of infant formula is not permitted, by law, in the UK and in fact worldwide.

As well as protecting breastfeeding - which is culturally fragile as a choice in many sectors of the UK - it also protects the health of formula fed babies. Formula milk should be marketed ethically. Prices should be permanently affordable at a low price, and claims for it should be truthful and informative. That way, mothers who have to, or who want to, use formula (which as we know is the sole source of food for many babies and so should be the best possible quality and prepared safely) don't have to rely on slogans, packaging, or fluffy adverts or indeed discounts, to play a role in their choice of type or brand.

HCPs should regard all this as part of their job - there are plenty of sources of info if they feel undertrained in this aspect.

They can see here info.babymilkaction.org/infant_feeding for info on a video about it all, or they can read something like Infant Milks in the UK.

Yes but threshold decisions are made like that all the time.
For example ds has to pay for his numerous meds as he has kidney failure whereas a person with a thyroid condition gets theirs free.
I had the option of a free wig and prosthesis too, it comes with cancer, maybe the option of free milk should one have a baby be decided at this stage thus taking away the need for ethical decisions about who can and can't feed.

Tiktok, I may be wrong so forgive me if I am, but it feels as if you're arguing against the doctor prescribing being the only way to get formula milk.

If you are then I 100% am with you that only the mother should/could decide.

But other posters are simply saying that if for medical reasons you either can't or are strongly advised against BF then formula should be prescribed.

The other mothers you mention COULD carry on FF/Mix Feeding if they chose to as they do now - by getting it from the shop. So it shouldn't/wouldn't affect anyone's decision any more than it does now.

YANBU. You were getting delivery to the store, so IMO its the same as just picking it up from the shelf. It is no different really than if they had the right amount on the shelf for your needs. You still have to go down to the store, taking time (and money if you drive) that you wouldn't had you had home delivery.
I think delivery in to store should be free no matter what you are buying, as they will probably be getting deliveries anyway so won't cost the store much (if anything on top of normal delivery for all other stocked items).
I also don't understand why they don't qualify for the free delivery when spending over £20.
I breast fed my children, and I have to say that I doubt the Formula offers would change whether someone breast fed or not. If you were on the fence about feeding, I doubt that £5 off Cow and gate (for example)would stop you choosing to breastfed.. which is free. If money was the only issue when choosing how to feed babies more would breastfeed. The fact is people choose to feed their babies what they feel is right, or what circumstances negate is right. No one should be made to feel guilty about their choices.

Ledkr, I don't think there is a problem with doctors being able to prescribe formula for women in your situation - it should be made explicit that in conditions where the mother has no breasts, then formula is prescribable (and therefore free).

It's the 'genuine reason for not breastfeeding' that I think is probematic, leaving docs to decide who they think 'ought' to bf.

Vix - God can you imagine though? You go to to the doctors because you think you qualify for free formula having tried really hard. And the doctor sends you away because you didn't try hard enough. And can you imagine the divide it would set up between women who had qualified and those who hadn't...

Vix, also there are many, many women who are 'strongly advised' to ff by their HCPs and they want to breastfeed.....the medical opinion on infant feeding is just not reliable.

I don't want a doctor to decide on anything but the very obvious like the dbl mastectomy thing.

(And what about a father looking after his baby because his partner and he have separated? Should he get formula on prescription? Mother 'not being there' is a good reason for not breastfeeding, but not something that should be paid for out of the NHS budget, surely?)

(Sorry, should have included another clause above - the women who are strongly advised to ff by their HCPs are often wrongly informed. Plenty of women post to mumsnet saying they have been told they cannot breastfeed and use particular meds, and the situation is just not as clear as that, or even it is clear ie the meds are not an issue.)

Tiktok I understand the difficulties. I understand that resentment might arise. I was not sure what was being said clearly.

At the moment though everyone pays. So a few with clear medical need (no breast tissue, proven harmful meds etc) 'gaining' doesn't make the rest worse off. They stay the same.

As someone mentioned earlier the nHS already does this 'unfairness' thing - my mum has had her thyroid removed so all her meds are free. I've been a lifelong asthmatic and yet have always had to pay for everything including the potential life-saving bits. How is that 'fair' either?

Interesting question re a father. I don't know. To me it feels like they should receive it too if this came in.
Did I read on here of a gay couple adopting and one man lactating by using meds?
[not advocating that route for all obviously!!]

penguin yes that thought horrifies me. Don't say it out loud too loudly though - the way things are going in some places in the world I fear some people thinking 'ah, if breast is best then women who don't BF are clearly being negligent' and campaining for FF to be curtailed.

I don't think that its a good idea for some people to get formula for free.

Basically it's like this - breastfeeding is usually the best thing. Sometimes ff is the best thing for a whole variety of reasons.

It is surely for the mother to make the decision which is best in her and her baby's case? Y'know the being treated as a competent adult thing?

Whether you are able to breastfeed successfully or not I think it is fair enough to pay to feed your own child. I understand the 'you can still choose' argument but it just further stigmatises those who don't get it free.

and anyway breastfeeding isn't actually free - people end up buying pumps, bottles, cushions, suitable clothes. Not to mention that the calories have to come from somewhere - ie the mother's food which has to be paid for.

So if breastfeeding has to be paid for by special clothes etc why is it promoted as being free?

can you get them to stock it at your local shop? or is that too easy for them?

tobysmum - part of the point is that ff is not the "best" thing in some cases, it is the only thing. As I mentioned before, the chemo meds would have poisoned DD.
As someone who has done both, ff is hugely more expensive. I certainly did not buy specific clothes for bf.

Boots customer service is horrendous and their delivery system a joke, they sent an incorrect product, messed up a promotion by not sending the third item (I won't die I know but it's annoying) and overcharged me to add to my first world woes.

All my emails to customer services about this debacle were ignored so they never resolved any of it. I gave up trying in the end.

Hideous, I say, hideous. Never been back since as it's all too tedious and a waste of money.

Just want to say op you should definitely get the formula for free and congrats on the baby

Fair point tobysmum it does cost for the mother to eat more, but it is not that much more really, you don't need to eat for 2.
Also with regards to the other items you mention, not everyone buys specialist clothes, pumps, bottles or cushions. I for one bought none of that (breastfed both DC till just past their second birthdays). Breast feeding can be very cheap, almost free.
Bottle feeding is very expensive, and I do think formula should be cheaper than it is.

In defence of boots customer services I was sent an item which was damaged during delivery and it was dealt with fantastically in one call with the staff even contacting local shops to ensure I could get a replacement as soon as possible as they knew it was a gift.