AIBU to want free delivery on formula

[Tangoandcreditcards]

I'm ffing my 2 month-old. (From birth, I've had a double mastectomy) I've been stewing about this for a month.

I ordered a load of formula to be delivered to my local Boots (5 doors down, as opposed to "the high street" which is further away, it's a tiny Boots, so doesn't stock the formula I'm using in the quantity I need (hence the order).

If you spend over £20 online for store delivery online you get free delivery. So I ordered a little over £20 worth. When the transaction went through I got charged for delivery. I contacted them for a delivery refund and was told that because it was formula, they legally can't have any offers on it, and I would have to be charged (£3.95!).

I do appreciate why it's illegal advertise/promote formula for newborns, and why breastfeeding is encouraged by HCPs because I do actually understand that some women might want/need some encouragement and education to choose BFing.

However... BFing is free, FFing is not, and NO-ONE is going to switch to formula because they can get free blooming delivery on it (or loyalty points, for that matter). I feel cheated. Maybe I am just being precious about 4 quid because I'm overly sensitive about the subject. I'll obviously just get off my bum and go somewhere else to get it, but I'm enraged at the fact that I have to, it just seems like legislation taken a bit too far to me! Who can I complain to? Is it poor interpretation of the law or just that the rules don't make sense? AIBU to think that economic sanctions (!!) on FFing parents are unfair?

I think supermarkets should sell breast milk that is vat free.

penguin - I'm totally

Not quite sure what the other dastardly things that formula companies do in the UK to subvert breastfeeding. But surely action can be taken to stop that rather than the current heavy handed approach which includes points not being rewarded

Maybe I'm awfully middle class and mix too much with NCT cohorts but my experience is that if people want to breast feed if the can, they will. And that includes expressing etc. if they don't, then there's not really much that can be done it change that in the immediate as it's usually due to societal norms etc - eg they don't know anyone who breast feeds etc. not because they get boots loyalty points though!

Well, there is an increasing trend to regulate alcohol promotion. But I think alcohol is so different it doesn't really help to compare.

To take an example of irresponsible behaviour, Aptimil had to be prevented from claiming that they were closest to breastmilk. People still trot it out. That is fucking immoral when they are the most expensive product on the market and they are guilting or misleading people into choosing their product over SMA or whatever. You really think that if they were allowed to discount or whatever their behaviour would be more responsible?

To reiterate, I'm not against formula. But I am against dubious ethics from any company selling it.

Tbf we could afford the formula milk but I'd be concerned about someone in my position who did find the milk difficult to afford.
Breast cancer doesn't just affect the higher earners.

I'm in an interesting position as I was an avid breast feeder and did it with 3 for well over a year.
So I was genuinely very sad at not being able to feed my girls but also genuinely clueless.
If it were not for the baby having a cleft palate if have had no advice on ff whatsoever.
I was certainly told by the "feeding expert" in a hushed voice that she couldn't give advice on bottles or formula, this was only 3 years ago.

I think the rules could fairly easily be tweaked/clarified to allow standard retailer-specific promotions (e.g free delivery and loyalty points that are linked to spend with retailer, not types of products purchased). That would still keep the manufacturers from unduly influencing consumers via pricing or advertising.

To clarify - I also haven't felt vilified or judged (other posters have though), I was just worn down by constantly having to explain a 'decision' I didn't get to make.

As well as the original point about being left out of promotions that have nothing to do with formula feeding I am frustrated at the lack of consistent, comprehensive FFIng advice which I feel is enabled by the (understandable and backed up with research) promotion ban. Manufacturers and HCPs offer very little in the way of opinion or troubleshooting for fear of falling-foul - although I fancy that consistent feeding advice is a universal problem however you feed your baby as it seems to vary so much even for BFing.

I think a few issues have been conflated in this post, tiktok but I think that the ban on promotions is not fit-for-purpose if retailers can misinterpret it to squeeze extra profit from FFing parents.

And like ledkr I don't find the cost prohibitive, but if I couldn't BF and also couldn't afford formula, I might have stronger feelings about financial help for women like us, but I certainly don't think we should find ourselves paying extra!

Tiktok - what do you mean by "Free formula for women who are unable breastfeed would require a doctor's permission to formula feed. Not a road to go down!"?

When people say they have been told by MWs, feeding coordinators etc that they are not allowed to give FF advice, does this mean any advice? Like the word formula is verboten? [cconfused]

I would say that I give FF advice all the time. The only thing we are truly not allowed to do is recommend a formula (just as we are technically not supposed to recommend any particular brand name product) but BFI guidelines are that FF mothers should be informed and supported to safely feed their baby.

Try some comments on their FB page too.

Tango - as I mentioned, on my understanding I don't think that the code actually needs changing re standard delivery. The fact that other companies like Kiddicare allow it suggests that they agree with that interpretation.

On reward points, I can see the argument but on the other hand the companies do seem to fall into 'give them an inch. ..' so I would wonder whether they would find ways of abusing it. Like the permitted 'follow on milk' adverts that showed a carrycot pram to clearly visually cue first stage feeding.

Last year Tesco had no problem using formula to make up the £40 minimum spend for free delivery (I had one of the six month delivery plans).

Yanbu

Rediculous and delivery for formula would be very helpful for some new parents as carting around the heavy tins is difficult.

breathe, I'll explain.

The decision on how to feed a baby should be the mother's alone. If we are genuinely supportive of this (and I am) , then it does not involve doctors at all. If a mother goes to her doctor and says 'I am unable to bf, and therefore in need of free formula' I don't want the doctor deciding if her reason is 'genuine' or not.

Clearly someone with no breasts cannot produce her own milk. But what about someone who can make milk but decides FOR HER OWN REASONS she does not want to, or the mother who needs to use medication that would prob be safe with bf but which she worries about, or the mother who can make some of her baby's milk intake but struggles to get a full supply.....there are loads of subtle non clear cut situations where a doctor should not be the one to decide if a mother 'really needs' free formula. Imagine a mother being refused free formula on the grounds that according to her doctor she should just try a bit harder.

Bue I take it you are a midwife? Where do midwives get the idea from they cannot give any advice on formula at all? Is this just poor communication?

It was once a day before pay day, I had enough Milk for DD until DS managed to tip water in the box.

Had club card vochours but wasn't allowed to use them, so had to borrow money to get some.

It is ridiculous that you can't get points or special offers on formula milk.

Tiktok - that makes perfect sense. Thanks.

.tiktok I kind of disagree, I think there's a world of difference between mastectomy patients and people having difficulties feeding.
A mastectomy patient just absolutely cannot feed, not ambiguous.
Of course though I can see it would be difficult to draw a line.
I just feel very fortunate to have been able to lose my breasts but still nourish a child which many women in poorer countries couldn't do.

YOu know, I'm doing an online Sainsburys order, later, so just before I hit the £40 mark, I shall add in a tin of formula to see if that goes towards the point at £40 where the delivery price reduces.

Yes, there is a difference, Ledkr! But I don't want a doctor making a decision about it. It's up to the mother. A mother able to make milk but psychologically and emotionally finding it impossible to breastfeed is in the same position as a mother with no breasts. Or the mothers who struggle for weeks and then decide to stop because it's taking over their lives.....it's up to them.

I think delivery is possibly a bit different, but in general the lack of bogof/points etc is a good thing. Makes it nice and easy for parents to compare prices of tins across brands/retailers and keeps the focus of competition on an everyday low unit price.

And in answer to that, my delivery price changed form £6.95 to £3.99 when I added a tin of formula and crossed the £40 mark, so if Sainsburys can do that sort of thing, why can't Boots?

yanbu, breastfeeding is rightly promoted but it shouldn't be at the expense of those who formula feed. It's outrageous too how little information is available on formula feeding because information to someone who needs to or already is formula feeding isn't 'promoting breastfeeding'. Absurd.

I'd probably fall into the ambiguous category - my meds control my condition but whilst physically and psychologically I would deteriorate, my ability to still do every day things in theory wouldnt be affected (ie I'm not going suddenly depart from this world if I stopped taking them!)

But the evidence for bf with my meds is not as extensive as I felt comfortable with (thanks to tiktok who directed me to some online evidence) - the medical advice from my team was to either ff or stop the meds.

For my own mental well being I opted to ff but you could argue that it wasn't the only option open to me and therefore not necessarily essential I ff. I'm fairly sure I would make the same decision again unless theft evidence changed and paid for ff regardless.

Interesting debate though

Interesting ouryve - call me a cynic but maybe they just haven't worked out yet that they can charge a premium to deliver formula and hide behind the legislation.

Now I'm armed with further ammunition that it is Boots that are the truly unreasonable ones here!

The decision on how to feed a baby should be the mother's alone. If we are genuinely supportive of this (and I am) , then it does not involve doctors at all. If a mother goes to her doctor and says 'I am unable to bf, and therefore in need of free formula' I don't want the doctor deciding if her reason is 'genuine' or not.

For people with no breasts/no breast tissue, there is no "decision". These are the people who should get free formula. The doctor can't tell then to try harder - that would be totally fatuous.

In those circumstances, formula on orescription should be provided.