To think it's unfair that I can't get my tubes tied?

[saggybaggy]

It is my body at the end of the day right?

I have two beautiful DCs and I'm happy with just that. DH and I definitely do not want any more children and I chose to get sterilized.

So I went to the GP for my 6 weeks check up and had asked to get my tubes tied only to be refused because of my age (22) "Youre still young, you may change your mind" bullshi..!!

I'm happy with my decision so I think it's bloody unfair for my GP to refuse. Even if DH and I divorce (God forbid!) I won't all of a sudden feel 'cheated' as I personally do not want anymore children, even if the worst happened.

AIBU? It's our right, right?

[DoJo]

Well, if this thread shows anything, it is that there are plenty of people who do change their minds about sterilisation, despite being adamant about it at a given point in their lives. I wouldn't presume to say that you will change your mind, but a GP must see plenty of people who do, and they would be irresponsible not to consider the possibility when being asked to refer someone for surgery.

Could you 'humour' your GP by insisting that they provide a reliable and easy method of contraception that has a similar risk of side effects as sterilisation? Presumably your main concern is preventing pregnancy, so finding a way to do that which would set your mind at ease as much as being sterilised would might be a compromise until such time as you are able to have the op?

[twizzleship]

i know how you feel OP, i too asked to be sterilised in my early 20's. i too was refused on the grounds that 'i was too young and might change my mind'...i knew when i was in my mid teens that i did not want children nor any 'accidents'! I have always been happy with adopting if i ever wanted to be a parent. At 19 i went on the Depo injection, which was much more reliable than the pill in my opinion. Again, I wasn't allowed to have the coil because 'i was too young' When the Depo began giving me bad side effects i went onto the coil, which again is hormonal but at least it stops the periods (which i've never liked or wanted). I wish gp's and the system were as patronising and offensive and anal towards the people wanting to get pregnant, maybe then we wouldn't have half the social/welfare problems we currently have.

Female sterilisation is more than 99% effective and only 1 in 200 women might become pregnant after having this done, so it is actually a much better contraceptive than all the others out there.

i wouldn't pay to get it done, i would expect the NHS to pay for it considering i've been paying my National Insurance contributions for many years.

I will be bringing this up again with my gp soon and i am prepared to fight for it if i come across any more opposition or patronising attitude/comments. It is your body and it is your right to choose to be sterilised instead of pumping your body full of hormones for the rest of your fertile years. So stand your ground and fight for it even if it means having to make a complaint to higher authorities.

[MandarinCheesecake]

you can't know at 22 if you will want more dc in 10,15 or even 20 years time

I knew the day my 2nd ds was born that I didn't want anymore, I was 23. Everyone said would change my mind i didn't.
Things didn't quite work out as i'd planned though but my feelings have never changed

I am 39 now.

[fifi669]

My point when OP said it was her right to have it done was that she was demanding it off the nhs. It's not a medical decision, it's not essential. It's much like demanding a boob op. If you don't have a genuine need in the doctors professional opinion then you have to go private.

I personally think 22 is too young. My friend swore no more after her DD. Got pregnant again happily. Her DH then had the snip. She recently said she hoped it didn't work as they'd try again! You never know how you'll feel in the future.

[twizzleship]

i disagree, it is a medical decision as the only other alternative that could offer similar contraceptive protection is using hormones and they can have contraindications for some women, and it is essential for those of us who have thought it through and made an informed decision as to what is best for our selves. it is also OP's right to demand it on the NHS....or do you think it is only the right of those who wish to continuously breed to demand medical help funded by the NHS and the taxpayer?

[Bogeyface]

"Justin Clark, a consultant gynaecologist at Birmingham Women's Hospital who is pioneering Essure, acknowledges that there is believed to be an overall 'regret rate' of ten per cent among women who undergo sterilisation, which rises to 30 per cent under the age of 30."

This is why they say no, ok so 70% wont regret it (or dont voice the fact that they regret it) but 30% do and that is very high. Lets not forget that every op costs the NHS money for what is after all a lifestyle operation, not a medical one.

The other issue is that the failure rate of female sterilisation is (quoted from the NHS website) 1 in 200, which aint that great when you consider that other methods are only just less than 1 in 100, so you could have it done and still end up pregnant. Other website claim failure of "between 1 & 10 per 1000" 10 per thousand is same as 1 in 100...you might as well go on the pill!

Better to use a long term method for a few years and then consider your OH being "done".

[Mignonette]

I was sterilised at the age of 27.

Never regretted it for one minute. The consequences of another pregnancy for me would have been fatal in all probability. But even without that, I'd have still been done.

Depends on the GP. That is the issue. it is so arbitrary.

[Bogeyface]

twizzle tell the breast cancer patient she cant have the drugs that may save her life because of budget cuts that your sterilisation is essential and medical. See how well that goes!

Things have to be prioritised and a non essential operation that could be replaced with something else is not going to be high on that list.

[Bogeyface]

Mignonette its not the GP though, the GP knows that the NHS gynae will in all probability say no too. So it just a waste of resources to refer the OP on. Your sterilisation was in order that your life wasnt put at risk by another pregnancy, thats totally different to what the OP is saying.

[DoJo]

I don't think cost should be a factor when it comes to provision of NHS services - pretty much every aspect of pregnancy costs the NHS, so it's hardly fair to say that someone can choose to have children and expect the NHS to fork out for the costs involved, but to deny those who choose not to on the basis of cost.

I think it's more to do with the physical and emotional elements of going ahead with it, which makes me think that something like the same criteria for abortions might be a better compromise - if two doctors speak to you and agree with your position. Of course, there will always be some degree of subjectivity to their decisions, but people should at least have a chance to state their case if they want to be sterilised and not just be dismissed out of hand on the grounds of their age.

[Mignonette]

Yes- great point by Twizzle about the cost of repeat pregnancies and health care for the resulting children and the idea of women wanting several children daring to judge NHS expenditure on sterilisation and the remote chances of a regret induced reversal.

[Mignonette]

My sterilisation would have gone ahead REGARDLESS. My gynae was clear in his belief that I wouldn't want more children regardless. The decision needs to be made with a clear correlation between what you want, feel and what you know to be 'right'.

[twizzleship]

some women may regret having been sterilised, just as some women may regret having had abortions and some women may regret having had kids....it comes down to personal responsibility. Once you have made an informed decision on something this important then you have to live with it.

[Mignonette]

Bogey

decisions on funding cannot be made like that/ Otherwise anybody having more than one child would be lectured on selfish use of resources, we'd lecture everybody injured through DIY accidents, car accidents, every lifestyle factor and sports injuries.

There are hospitals FULL of folks there through their own actions. Let's face it.

[Bogeyface]

I agree but this isnt an accident as a result of bad judgement, it is a choice and if that choice cannot be funded by the NHS then it must be funded privately.

[DoJo]

But why should that choice not be funded by the NHS? The choice to have a child is.

[twizzleship]

bogeyface: tell the breast cancer patient she cant have the drugs that may save her life because of budget cuts you can't lay the blame of budget cuts on women choosing sterilisation-especially seeing as it is now mainly done on an outpatient basis and has therefore reduced the overall cost of the procedure.

perhaps if the NHS were not spending so much money on being forced to provide medical care for people who keep procreating and all its related problems on the grounds of that too being a 'lifestyle choice'...they might not have to make such drastic budget cuts.

Better to use a long term method for a few years and then consider your OH being "done" , all contraception has to be paid for somewhere along the line-we're just bloody lucky that we get it for free in the UK. Longterm hormonal contraceptives also bring their own problems which the NHS then has to deal with. Also, you seem to be forgetting that women fought long and hard to be able to have rights over their own bodies....why should we be leaving something as important as this down to men?

also, the issue of cancer drug funding also has a lot to do with the extortionate prices the pharmaceutical companies charge despite making billions in profits each year.......

[Bogeyface]

why should we be leaving something as important as this down to men?

Off to bed so will reply properly tomorrow but to the point above, mainly because female sterilisation has a far higher failure rate than vasectomy. If you are going to go for a permanent contraceptive then surely it makes sense to go for the most effective option?

[twizzleship]

it is a choice and if that choice cannot be funded by the NHS then it must be funded privately

considering the current situation where the booming birthrate is causing financial problems both in the NHS, in welfare and in society in general....do you propose that anyone wanting more than one child also fund that lifestyle choice privately?

[twizzleship]

It may have a 'far higher failure rate than vasectomy' but overall female sterilisation has a failure rate of less than 1%.

there are pros and cons to both male and female sterilisation and it is down to the individual to decide which decision they make. It isn't anybody elses place to make that decision.

[passmethewineplease]

YANBU, I also find some of these posts incredibly patronising.

If you did regret it then that is your issue to be dealt with by you as another poster said above.

I also don't agree with you having to have hormonal contraception because they declined your request.

I cannot abide hormonal contraception, it changes me, it does not suit my body at all.

I would like to get sterilised too OP, I am 24 and have two dc I know I do not want any more children, I know I wouldn't be able to cope with any more.

I'm looking at either saving up to go private or seeing what dp thinks to the snip.

[itsbetterthanabox]

It's not a necessary medical procedure. It's expensive and any surgery is risky plus if you can safely tolerate the implant or coil they are just as effective. I can see that weighing it up the nhs won't see it as the first port of call. Although of course I do think after offering you alternatives they should still consider the request but I'm sure you can get it done privately anyway though,

[DoJo]

But the OP was refused on the basis of her age and on the assumption that she might change her mind, not because of the risks or cost of surgery.

[NinjaLeprechaun]

My point when OP said it was her right to have it done was that she was demanding it off the nhs. It's not a medical decision, it's not essential.

I'm not in the UK, so I may be misinformed, but the NHS pays for fertility treatments don't they?
I can't think of any medical reason a woman would need to have a baby - no matter how much she may want one - which makes it a non-medical, non-essential, procedure. So please explain the difference to me.

[NinjaLeprechaun]

*Should be non-medically necessary, of course.