To think it's unfair that I can't get my tubes tied?

[saggybaggy]

It is my body at the end of the day right?

I have two beautiful DCs and I'm happy with just that. DH and I definitely do not want any more children and I chose to get sterilized.

So I went to the GP for my 6 weeks check up and had asked to get my tubes tied only to be refused because of my age (22) "Youre still young, you may change your mind" bullshi..!!

I'm happy with my decision so I think it's bloody unfair for my GP to refuse. Even if DH and I divorce (God forbid!) I won't all of a sudden feel 'cheated' as I personally do not want anymore children, even if the worst happened.

AIBU? It's our right, right?

[fifi669]

It's also an argument on the best use of nhs resources....

[wheresthelight]

I understand your desire however unless medically necessary they will not consider on anyone under 35 without a very good reason.

I have a condition that puts me in a high risk group for ovarian cancer. I was told at 16 and have asked every year since for a full or partial hysterectomy. I was refused for various reasons including Age.

They do not refuse just to piss you off. There are medical reasons not to do this let alone personal ones. get some proper contraception like coil or deposit and be sensible. As others say you may change your mind

I. Now a mum after 17 years of being told my condition would mean I would never have kids so I am very glad they refused me

[aprilanne]

i was sterilised after ds3 ..my gp say there guidlines are 3 children or over 30 .so maybe this why yours reluctant .it is not an easy operation to be honest .my periods were never right after words .if i had my time again i think i would just have got the implant just as effective i think .

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Then the answer is "that's not available on the NHS under 35 - please chat to private providers" not "you're still young" etc.

[Meow75]

I'm 38 now, been asking for sterilisation since I was 25, if not earlier. Never wanted children.

First dr said there was no chance, and the other health benefits for a woman not being at an early age - osteoporosis is one that springs to mind - but when I said that my MiL had been sterilised at the age of 28 in 1979, after my younger SiL was born. Admittedly, she was given HRT as it was newly available then, but at least she didn't have to worry about any more pregnancies (she'd had 4).

My dr just shrugged. Since then, I've been on Depo-provera for about 8 years, and then implants - my second one needs replacing in Aug, 3 years each. I am wondering whether I will FINALLY be able to get sterilised, but I'm not too hopeful, tbh. At least with the jab and the implants I've had no periods, and if I am only offered sterilisation that might result in them coming back, I might stick with an implant.

[saggybaggy]

kepekcrumbs ahh that's sad that the junior doctor treated you like that! I'm glad that you were given the procedure and even more glad to hear that you didn't and don't regret it.


I think it's unfair for people to make those who are 100% sure about their decision feel as if they can't possibly know what they want because of their age.

What would people rather? A termination because of an unwanted pregnancy?I may be taking my argument too far asking that but it's true.

[TeacupDrama]

bodily autonomy does not really exist in any branch of medicine, I would not extract a tooth just because you wanted it done, I might consider it if you wanted extraction as opposed to root treatment but in no branch of medicine can you just request a procedure and just get it done on NHS

[saggybaggy]

itsatiggerday I can't answer as I know my answered would be biased based on the fact that I am adamant to get my tubes tied.

[saggybaggy]

answers** hate my phone and it's auto correct

[Edenviolet]

YABU

The gp is right, it is too young. If possible look Into other methods of contraception that are reversible. The heartbreak at making the wrong decision to be sterilised is horrible.

[FrigginRexManningDay]

It is your body, your fertility so I think your gp should refer you. As for the financial side, she will save the NHS money not needing contraception for the next 28 years.

[Fathertedfan]

YANBU. I was sterilised after two children. Knew I didn't want to have more and my doctor agreed that it was a good idea. I was a bit older than you, but if you're sure two is your limit then so be it.

[itsatiggerday]

.

But if that's what you said to the GP I can understand why they stalled you. Seems all about the 'now' rather than the permanent implications. Mine wasn't obstructive (and I was under 35 with only 2), just clear on why they would need to be persuaded of the clarity of our thinking. l actually think she did an excellent job of providing the kind of expertise & counsel that GPs are often accused of not spending enough time on. Obv I wasn't in yours to hear patronising instead.

[ExcuseTypos]

I was 40 when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I had to have an operation and I asked to be sterilised at the same time. I told the surgeon that the ectopic pregnancy had been so frightening that I would never want to get pregnant again. I alread had 2 DDs and I didn't want anymore.

The surgeon refused and said I could possibly make a decide like that at that time I'm 48 now and have spent the last 8 years terrified of getting pregnant. Can't wait for the menopause!

[NurseyWursey]

I fully agree it's your body and you should be able to do want you want with it, but I completely understand where your GP is coming from.


I've actually got a video recording of my friend from a couple of years ago SWEARING ADAMANT that she will never have another baby, and wanted her tubes tied. She's now TTC. I'm not saying you'd feel this way, but 22 is awfully awfully young to make such a drastic decision and I think you'd benefit from the flexibility.

There are plenty of other things to prevent pregnancy, although they're not the one you really want they're worth thinking about.

[Mintyy]

I understand your argument completely and agree with you. However, its an elective procedure, not a life or death one, and therefore you don't have the right to demand it on the NHS.

[NurseyWursey]

The thing with the autonomy argument is, GP's still have to weigh up what can happen.

Regarding an abortion, the worst is you'd regret it but 99% of cases nothing goes wrong and you're able to give birth again if you wanted to.

Having your tubes tied is very often irreversible, meaning it's a drastic procedure.

It's like that man who wanted his hand removed because he was in so much pain. With the bodily autonomy argument, he should have been referred for surgery. But he wasn't.

[NurseyWursey]

nothing medically goes wrong that should say*

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

I don't know that case, Nursey. Did the hand guy have to take a pill every day to stop his hand hurting?

OP has to do something to prevent unwanted pregnancy so there is no "do nothing" option.

[NurseyWursey]

TheDoctrine Yes, he was on a cocktail of painkillers none of which were working effectively enough for him. He lived in constant pain.

He had no 'do nothing' option either.

Anyway I'm not using that as an argument in this debate, I just wanted to add that to the autonomy issue

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

I think he had a good argument for the surgery then, I wonder why it was refused?

[NurseyWursey]

I think because it was such a drastic procedure and the hand worked but the pain was still there. Plus it would set a precedence maybe? I suppose they couldn't really allow everyone to chop their limbs off if they say they're painful.

Anyway the fella ended up attempting to amputate his own hand :(

[itsatiggerday]

Don't know but amputating hand might have caused complications & still not solved the problem. Amputee patients report pain from missing limbs too. The brain is an extraordinary thing.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

How sad