to completely give up on wearing bras?

[Bigredsevs]

It started innocently enough; I would skip wearing bras if I was going on a flight, or long car ride, but now I can't seem to persuade myself to wear them at all!

I am not flat chested (36D, kind of 'wide based' if that makes any sense..). I am pretty sure that ianbu but every so often I feel unsure, mostly because of peoples reaction... my sister is appalled and her boobs are much smaller! I increasingly feel like I shouldn't have to wear a surgical support to change/camouflage the shape of my breasts every day of life.. and that men's people's reaction to the outline of my breasts through clothing is their problem... I do get anxious about whether it is unprofessional for work though, but then I get angry about how the fact that they are so over-sexualised that I feel responsible.

I would wear one if I was in a 'who has the nicest shaped boobs?' competition but am i being unreasonable to give up on wearing one for daily life?

p.s. walking, jumping, doing up and down stairs felt weird and wibbly at first, but normal now :)

Haven't worn a bra for sixteen years - not even when I do sitting trot! I simply don't like them and it certainly hasn't done my boobs any harm. I don't think it bothers anyone. It wouldn't bother anyone that I liked, because I wouldn't like people who it would bother.

Erm, I have no shame in being a woman of my build and age, no! Why on earth would I be ashamed that my tits are no longer armpit-height and forward-facing? Or ashamed that my body's made of flesh, which moves?

Likewise "shapeless sack of potatoes" - nice way to describe your mother. FYI, your mother and I aren't shapeless, we are the exact shape we are, as human beings - two separate instances of a woman over 40.

I've never bothered having an opinion about bras before, except as fashion. Hadn't realised there was so much strong feeling that women must look as if we have two solid lumps protruding from the upper chest

This thread's politicising bras for me!

DH is a 34C That must have been a fun five minutes, Ouryve

Lot of defensiveness on the thread. Almost as if women hate wearing bras and also hate that they feel they have to wear them. You don't have to if you're more comfortable without! Really!

If I wear a 'soft' bra where it is just fabric and underwiring then the outline of my boobs looks just the same, with the same nipple visibility (though probably less movement). I'd have to wear a moulded, structured bra to change the outline and I find that they make them look bigger and more prominent, as well as being uncomfortable. My posture is actually much better without as I can stand up straight without feeling like my breasts are thrusting outwards and attracting attention. From reading this thread is seems like stretchy crop tops and vests with support are the way to go :)

Sugar no it's not the women who don't wear bras doing the hating...but some of those who don't! Read the thread in it's entirety before commenting, you're more likely to make sense.

Milly your Mother doesn't give a shit that people (including her own daughter!) are bitching about her. that's because she is comfortable and feels no need to impress the judgmental arses around her.

I'm with you Bigred - 34D here and I never wear a bra at home - which is most of the time as I work at home. I'll put one on sometimes when going out but often don't bother because i'm more comfortable without. And yes I have got a couple of properly fitted ones.

Well, I work in male dominated environments - always have, and over the years have sat in on, or sat close to, a lot of male conversations -
Do they talk about women's bodies a lot? Yes (particularly on night shift).
Do they comment on the women's boobs? - yes
Do they try to guess women's bra sizes? Yes
Do they notice when a woman is not wearing a bra - yes the "tit jiggle" is very alluring to the men (well, the ones I've worked with over the years) - valued even more highly than the "bum wiggle" - the HOURS they spend commenting on this.

Knowing how these men discuss women's bodies I would never go without a bra - even in very hot countries where the concept of an underwired bra is awful, I still wear a sports crop top.
Maybe I have worked with blokes too long???!!!!

Just to put the gender equality in here, I comment on men's triceps/deltoids/pecs a LOT, so I'm just as bad.

I would also say that the difference between a badly fitting bra and a good fitting one is life changing - thanks to the mumsnet bra threads I now have the comfiest bras I've had for the past 10 years.

As said, if you have small boobs and nobody would notice that you're braless then of course there's no need to wear one. This is not the case for a majority of women though, and large, swinging, bouncing boobs are simply not an appropriate sight for office environment. It's like your male colleagues walking around in tight cycling shorts - appropriate, if they are in fact in a cycling race. Not so much for your accountant.

As for 'it's your problem if you don't like it' - well, you can say that for everything. On a hot day, I would find it more comfortable going to work with wet hair, barefoot and in nothing but a sarong, but most people would agree that this would not be appropriate.

I'm curious: how many of the vociferously bra-less posters on this thread work in conventional office environments?

I used to work in offices. I quite often didn't wear a bra, though of course I did if I was wearing something that might be see-through. My chest was quite perky then. Now it isn't - and I'd follow the same course now, as my shape is appropriate for my age.

With or without a bra, I've never worn particularly low-cut or plunging necklines or left a cleavage-level button undone. It strikes me that 'vociferous' bra-wearers are much more likely to do so, making them unqualified to criticise others' mobile nipples

That's a very good point Garlic.
There is a lot of difference between wearing a bra to conceal the nipples, and wearing a push-up bra to emphasise the cleavage and shove the tits in everyone's face. I find the latter much worse that allowing a trace of natural outline to show.

I'm curious: how many of the vociferously bra-less posters on this thread work in conventional office environments?

I don't know if I've been vociferous, but I work in a conventional office most days, mostly with men, and more often braless than otherwise.

"Sugar no it's not the women who don't wear bras doing the hating...but some of those who don't! Read the thread in it's entirety before commenting, you're more likely to make sense."

Er, I know. You didn't read my comment properly! The women who seem to get irate at the idea of braless women (like me), are probably the ones ripping them off as soon as they get home. Like I said, defensive.

depends what you are wearing really.
I sometimes see these old hippy women round ere with no bra and it is really not agood look if they down by your waist under a thin jumper

I'm a 36N (UK sizing). There is no way in flipping hell I would venture out in public without a bra on. Would I like to? Sure! Do I rip my bra off when I get home? Most definitely!

Unfortunately though, men like boobs. My husband loves my boobs. He does not like other men loving my boobs and neither do I. They bounce and jiggle and are generally quite obvious (especially given they are quite solid and still perky for their weight) when not supported.

I'm immensely jealous of all you "small" (comparatively speaking) breasted women being able to go without bras and run around without pain... but it's always obvious, no matter the size of the breast, whether you are braless or wearing the wrong sized bra. If I saw you without a bra on I'd think you were attention seeking, or poor.

So yes. YWBU to not wear a bra (or any other form of support) to work. If you can find "shelf" camisoles or whatever that would be a much better solution for work. Enjoy it for all the rest of us though!

Oh god. I'm a 28H/G. If I wore a bra I think I'd take my own eye out/someone else's eye but tbh, I admire you and think you do what you want! Breasts aren't offensive! I get comments on mine WITH a bra on (they are big for my frame) so I couldn't go without though I let them roam free in the house.

I can't stand being bra-less tbh, but it is your choice; if you are comfortable with that then YANBU.

Some really shocking attitudes on here. We haven't moved past dressing for men, then?

OP, if men (or women) have a problem with what you do with your tits then they need to get a hobby. Clearly not enough real problems to worry about.

I've got a wobbly arse, maybe I should stuff myself into one of those body stocking things in case some random mumsnetter stranger thinks I look "a bit grim".

"As said, if you have small boobs and nobody would notice that you're braless then of course there's no need to wear one."

You are so wrong. I look like a boy without a padded bra. Unless I was wearing a shapeless sweatshirt you would definitely know if I wasn't wearing one.

The reason why I felt a bit sorry for that woman was because this was one aspect of her persona which wasn't as kick-ass as she needed it to be, and she has since been managed out of her senior job and is struggling to get anything at remotely the same level. I do not believe this happened because she did not have enough under-clothing body-armour. but I think that betrays a sense of security that she was wrong to feel that ultimately increased her vulnerability

Mistakes she made:

getting pissed too often at industry functions (thinking her contacts were friends)
standing too close to people a lot of the time (using intimate space instead of business space)
not listening to senior people (thinking she was invulnerable enough to do things her own way while pissing people off who had the power to get rid of her)
not listening in general (not acquring information that could have helped her; always thinking she knew best)
dressing in a way that made her appear physically exposed and vulnerable, including that you could see her nipples, and this sent a subliminal message that she was not to be taken seriously
Generally not being clever enough

As you can see, the lack of bra was a very minor element in her downfall but it seems to me part of her not knowing how vulnerable she was, and not taking steps to protect herself

When I don't wear a bra, I get nipple rub. How do you stop getting that without wearing a bra OP?

I'm not bothered if people notice I'm braless & I'm certainly not trying to be attention-seeking (MyName above) but I make sure my nipples aren't too obvious in what I'm wearing as they are the big sticky-out kind. DH loves my nipples to be really obvious but I don't think that's acceptable & I certainly wouldn't want to embarrass my teenage DS. I wore bras during pregnancy & breast feeding as I was huge (well C/D - huge for me) & wanted to support them and they were sore

AMillionNameChangesLater
I'm a similar size to the OP. Can't answer for her but I'm used to being without a bra and don't suffer any irritation at all. I usually only put on a bra if I'm going to take some exercise and as I'm a lazy git that isn't every day.
If your nipples are chafing then your breasts are probably bouncing enough that you do need to wear one.