I wasn't going to post as feel both camps have become so obstinate in their views what would be the point of attracting attacks on myself but I have read the other thread which was actually about judging a friend found to have an abortion and now this one and am slightly repulsed by the mudslinging on that thread and some misrepresentation on this thread of the first thread.
I don't feel the need to be compartmentalised by any side as to what I am or should be called eg pro life or pro choice etc because terminating pregnancy isn't a black and white thing and thank fuck for that - it should be emotive, difficult and taken seriously by which I mean the discussion/consideration of it not the actual access to a termination.
I find it sad that in 2014 in a first world country we still have the situation where women get pregnant without choosing to and therefore having to make this decision about continuing with a pregancy or terminating it but then I grapple with why some people have kids only to treat them like shit or in some cases horrifically abuse them - I don't have the answer, I doubt anyone does but Christ it sucks.
I have not had a termination myself nor been in a position of having to consider one - I have 3 kids - so I haven't walked in those shoes and it is this plus the abhorrence for me of thinking of girls/women being in such fear of the consequences of having a child that their lives are threatened by backstreet abortionists that are the cornerstones of why I support the safe and open offer of abortion on demand within the law.
However, to refer to the thread that preceded this one - I do judge women who have had terminations. Not children who get pregnant, not rape victims, not those who have to for medical reasons or those who decide for whatever reason they want ( circumstance, career, relationship, money, DV etc) - but I judge any woman who doesn't then think to herself at the very least "well that was unpleasant/inconvenient situation" and ensures to her utmost ability never to have to put herself through it again.
I judge women who use it as birth control ( thankfully feel this is few in the big scheme of it but I do know a few in my RL) and I judge women who do not seem, to me anyway, to assume the responsibility not to have to put themselves and those around them in the same situation again by absolutely everything within their control.
In the other thread someone ( am sure they will be along to say their piece shortly which is of course fair enough) mentioned a friend who had had 6 terminations despite using double contraception. Simply put I don't understand this. Even after the 2nd/3rd time wouldn't she and her partner have agreed that their way of preventing pregnancy was obviously not working for them and look for another solution? I know someone myself who has had 5, I just don't get why an otherwise smart, witty, beautiful successful woman didn't take more steps to protect herself.
This leads me to this thread as my thoughts on the OP's question is that yes I believe she should have autonomy over her own body like the women cited above but not always with impunity sometimes the right to make a decision for yourself should come with thought, respect and consideration of the consequences and I think a duty of care to minimise the chance of history repeating itself.
I guess that is my struggle with abortion - I want people to feel some respect and care about what they are doing.
But to be clear by this I don't mean women in sack cloths and ashes, feeling ashamed and guilty - what good is that? I feel only sympathy they had to make the decision and would not want some poor woman being haunted by it - what is done is done.
OP, if you don't mind my asking, have you considered having your tubes tied or your partner having the snip? You are emphatic that you don't want more kids and want autonomy over yourself so empower yourself then and take whatever steps required to control this part of your life. I may be mis understanding you but it reads to me as if you are saying ' I could still get pregnant, I 100% don't want this! but it's ok if I do because I have the right to an abortion' my argument is why take the risk of seeing if you do get unlucky? Why be in the position at all? Why is abortion easier then a vasectomy?