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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want autonomy over my body.

999 replies

thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 16:12

Aibu here. I am 50 but apparently still fertile.

I have 4 children already and do not want any more.

According to some posters if I fell pregnant but hadn't used at least 2 methods of contraception I should be denied the abortion I would most definatly want.

I would have to go before a panel of judges in a court to plead my case. They would judge whether I should have an abortion or not.

Of course if there was a back log of cases then I would have to wait and if it reached 24 weeks it would be too late anyway.

I would be forced to give birth.

Aibu to be absolutely stunned at this posters view in Britain 2014?

OP posts:
Swoopdewoop · 23/04/2014 22:12

namechange thank you for sharing your experience. I think some of us needed reminding we're talking about real people and real heartbreak. Thanks

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 22:13

I agree with the poster who stated that anyone who agrees with abortion to term, unless the fetus has a terminal illness, or the mother's life is at risk (then special care units are more appropriate) is completely , morally and scientifically wrong.

I keep asking, why?

MyrtleDove · 23/04/2014 22:15

blackcats that poster didn't actually specify medical reasons being a reason for late term abortions. Late term abortion is available here but only for medical reasons.

I do think that the current law is right.

blackcats73 · 23/04/2014 22:16

Anyway the body, if you believe in abortion of a healthy fetus up to term, then YBVVVVVVU!

Swoopdewoop · 23/04/2014 22:17

lovely "I'm surprised that some of the aggressive pro-abortionists don't agree you can be a feminist and disagree with abortion"

It's purely the forcing of one's values onto another human being that's the non-feminist part.

I'm a feminist. I most likely would not choose one for myself, but I held my friend's hand when she chose to have an abortion and I kept my opinions to myself.

Swoopdewoop · 23/04/2014 22:18

namechange you're right, it's bloody terrifying. I'm still angry about it.

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 22:18

, if you believe in abortion of a healthy fetus up to term, then YBVVVVVVU!

Again, why?

TheBabyFacedAssassin · 23/04/2014 22:22

Northern I'm not sure how widespread the knowledge of it is at present to be honest. At my last appointment with my consultant 2 weeks ago he showed me the communication that had been sent out by the directors of foetal medicine in the royal. Apparently these changes are all down to the new attorney general who took over 18 months ago. I am seeing my consultant in the morning and I can ask him for further information if you like?

namechange I sincerely appreciate you sharing your story here. I completely understand the living one day at a time. My daughter has thanatophoric dysplasia and there is a strong possibility that her heart could stop at any time. I wake up every morning dreading that today might be that day but also hoping that it is. I hope that makes sense. I've spent 10 weeks in this hell and have another 10 weeks to go. I feel her wiggle and move and although I love it, I hate it equally as I am constantly reminded what I won't have. It's getting the point that I am reluctant to go to a public place as so many people, whose intentions are good, smile at me and ask how far along I am, when I'm due and if I'm excited. I just smile and play along. All I keep thinking that had abortion been available to me this part of the nightmare could be over by now and I could be grieving in a more natural sense. I love my daughter, I have loved her since the day I saw those 2 lines appear on the test. I will always love her and always remember her.

Sorry that went into a bit of a ramble. If termination had been available to me I would have taken that option in order to protect myself and my future mental and physical health. I don't believe that would have meant I I loved my daughter any less.

Binkyresurrected · 23/04/2014 22:22

I think I have found a study on self termination of pregnancy, I am having trouble reading it as I can't open it fully (problem with adobe), if anyone would like to read it, I believe it will be of interest, google hospital admissions due to pregnancy terminations

Scroll down and there is a PDF title "reason for hospitalization due to abortion", its on the researchgate.net website.

LoveSardines · 23/04/2014 22:23

Abortion is available to term in the UK for "foetal abnormality". As in “there is a substantial risk that if the child were born it would suffer from such physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped.”

Just FYI. Many consider this law to be disablist, for obvious reasons.

stottiecakes · 23/04/2014 22:23

lovelyjubberly I love kids, do you think i don't as i have had a termination and agree with people being able to choose what to do with their pregnancy and in some cases they do so for the wellbeing of their existing kids. I have 3 and love them all, they deserve a healthy mentally balance mother.

blackcats73 · 23/04/2014 22:25

Anya, because the fetus (with medical help) at that stage is capable of independent life. They save 24 week old fetuses in special care. How can you justify ending the life of a 25 week old fetus in one woman and then saving a 25 week fetus in another just because it has passed down the birth canal. Physiologically it is the same.

On a theoretical level, I understand the argument of abortion to term. Really it's not going to happen. I mean really, how many doctors would you find who would terminate a term, viable fetus/baby. I mean really?

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 22:27

Abortion is available to term in the UK for "foetal abnormality". As in “there is a substantial risk that if the child were born it would suffer from such physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped.”

Just FYI. Many consider this law to be disablist, for obvious reasons

Yep this and that I don't believe that hundreds of full term pregnant women will be demanding abortions.

Original poster
thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 22:28

blackcats

Just about understood the text speak.

Er no it's not about my personal view or with respect yours!

It's about the pregnant persons view and her rights over her body.

I don't seek to control or push my views on anyone else.

Not sure that's the definition of unreasonable!!

OP posts:
Kendodd · 23/04/2014 22:29

if you believe in abortion of a healthy fetus up to term, then YBVVVVVVU!

Again, why?

Why is it u to think it's not ok to abort a full term fetus? Well this raises the question 'when is a fetus a baby'. I think anyone who thinks it's ok to abort at full term is mad imo, of course it's not ok. Would it be ok to abort while the woman was in labour? Can people really not see that at some point along that journey it is not ok to abort the baby. It really isn't just a moral black and white, it's not just autonomy over your own body, there is another person living inside you.

I think it's also bonkers if people think a blastocyst as the same 'rights' as the person it's inside of.

blackcats73 · 23/04/2014 22:29

Sorry too many reallys, but amazed (apart from on a theoretical level) how anyone could justify aborting a fetus past 24 weeks (unless the fetus has a serious life limiting illness)!!!

Original poster
thebodydoestricks · 23/04/2014 22:30

black I have assisted during an abortion and worked my arse off in special care baby units as a nurse.

I see no conflict at all. None.

OP posts:
blackcats73 · 23/04/2014 22:31

Agree kendodd

The body, what text speak?

LoveSardines · 23/04/2014 22:31

blackcats it is legal in the UK if there is a risk that the baby will be disabled to a certain level.

Thus, theoretically, a perfectly healthy baby could be aborted legally at term in the UK.

Swoopdewoop · 23/04/2014 22:32

babyface that's so sad for you. I'm truly sorry you're in this position. It's awful.

MyrtleDove · 23/04/2014 22:33

Kendodd it's not 'mad' to abort a foetus at full term that's going to be stillborn or die very soon after birth.

AnyaKnowIt · 23/04/2014 22:34

But who am I (or you) to say, right here is a cut of date?

It is legal to abort to full term for a disabled child? Why is that OK?

blackcats73 · 23/04/2014 22:36

So the body. Did you assist in the termination of a post 24 weeks healthy fetus?

The line ( I think) is viability.

Again, I believe in abortion on demand ( for any reason) until 24 weeks then only for life limiting reasons past 24 weeks.

Still, everyone is entitled to their views. I don't think the law is going to change. It is right now.

MoominsAreScary · 23/04/2014 22:37

Oh and I did get to meet my baby, we have pictures, footprints. We had a funeral.

The majority of women who have terminations later in pg give birth too. They dont just take you to surgery at 20 odd weeks pg, put you to sleep then wake you up when its all done.

blackcats73 · 23/04/2014 22:38

Anya. I don't believe it's right to terminate a disabled fetus to term. I work with children with disabilities.

I believe it it right to terminate a fetus to birth which will be born with severe life limiting conditions.