babyfaced, I've been reading your posts, they are both heartbreaking and thought provoking. Perhaps it's my ignorance but I have never considered that there would be women in the uk in your position. It's hard to get my head around the fact that things are so different.
Much as I consider myself pro-life, and I find it hard to pin down my thoughts on the case of babies with abnormalities which are incompatible with life, I think the "best" argument I can come up with is that it should in this case be a matter for individual conscience / choice, and that doctors should be neutral, providing advice on both options equally. I know that when my baby was diagnosed with anencephaly (for those who don't know, a severe abnormality, incompatible with life, involving most of the baby'd brain and top of the skull failing to develop), the option of termination was presented to me as the only option, and I felt under a lot of pressure.
I didn't terminate, but baby's heart stopped beating at 22 weeks, and she was born asleep. I hoped I would carry to term, but honestly changed my mind a million times a day as to what was the "right" thing to do. As you know only too well, there is no happy ending, no good outcome. I can only speak for myself, and the reasons I didn't terminate - which were that I felt strongly that I did not want to make the decision to end this baby's life, I wanted God / nature to decide, that I wanted to value this child's life just as much as any other no matter what abnormalities she had (I am not suggesting for a minute that those who terminate don't value their babies, I know the opposite is true having spoken to many women who have terminated after an anencephaly diagnosis). I also wanted to care for my baby for as long as I could, I wanted her to develop inside me, hear my voice, and have the best life she could however short, even though I knew she would not live after birth. I am glad that I got to hold her, and meet her properly, that I have memories of her, photographs and footprints. I think that because of my pro-life views, I felt I could no more terminate than I could end her life for her if she did breathe after birth. that's how it felt to me.
I don't honestly know what I would do if it happened to me again. I can't even say with 100% certainty that I would not have terminated that pregnancy had it not ended naturally when it did. I just lived day by day not wanting it to be then, and who knows whether I would have stuck it out to the end. In that position again, I would know what was coming and wonder whether I really would be able to face it, and also these decisions are never black and white. My baby with anencephaly would not have suffered, with other conditons where they might, I know that would be unbearable to watch, and to be forced to do that would be barbaric.
But there is a world of difference between choosing to carry to term with a fatal diagnosis and being forced to do so. I don't know what I think about the law, I only know that after what I've experienced, and after I have met so many women who have made the decision to terminate for medical reasons, who have loved and grieved for their babies and made their decision for reasons which were right to them, and for them, I don't believe I have any right to make that decision for them, much less to judge the decision they made out of love for their babies.
I'm hesitating to post this; I hope it answers some of your questions, in some way, about the other side of the debate. I hope you have all the support you need over the next few weeks / months.