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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why Mumsnet is obsessed with boys wearing girls clothes?

109 replies

eatmoremoveless · 21/04/2014 21:09

Honestly, you know YANBU, you know everyone will say YANBU, anyone who dares to say YABU will be soundly told off so why bother?

There are so many threads about can I put my son in a dress, tights, pink, florals ... YANBU. You're a right-on, trendy, liberal parent. WE GET IT.

But by now, tedious is what it is: tedious and boring.

OP posts:
usualsuspectt · 21/04/2014 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
eatmoremoveless · 21/04/2014 22:57

I think you DO need to calm down MrsDeVere

I don't really care whether you see your GP or not but I don't like being drawn into a fight. YOU were the one who accused me of calling your son a "little freak", who told me to stick it up my arse and informed me you're from the East End of London - if I AM being unreasonable, I don't think I'm on my own ...

OP posts:
IsadoraJ · 21/04/2014 22:59

YANBU OP. I have also noticed this and think about 70% of the time people are just looking for a gold star for their parenting.

Original poster
eatmoremoveless · 21/04/2014 23:01

As a gay woman myself, funnily enough that's the exact opposite of what I want, usual, but as you hopefully know clothing and sexuality have nothing to do with each other and why you have brought this up I don't know.

Unless you do believe that all gay women stomp about in Doc Martins and shaved heads while gay men wear silky pink tops - which presumably you don't, so I don't quite honestly know why the one has been compared to the other.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 21/04/2014 23:01

I'm not offended - why would anyone be offended by being called liberal

I do think it's very quietly goady though

with a definite agenda

there are lots of things posted here that make me roll my eyes ... I don't feel the need to start a thread telling everyone about it though

caruthers · 21/04/2014 23:01

Well it's pretty easy to hide threads on here.

But if posters hid the threads that they didn't like they wouldn't be able to see what they have got the rage about.

usualsuspectt · 21/04/2014 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ikeaismylocal · 21/04/2014 23:02

Why would dressing your son in a dress/skirt/sparkley pink high heals give you a gold star or make you trendy? My mum dressed us in clothes marketed towards the opposite gender 30 years ago there was certainly no trendyness about it then.

Original poster
eatmoremoveless · 21/04/2014 23:04

I don't think I have a 'problem' - other than to ask why people keep asking if they are being unreasonable when they know what the response will be, almost to the letter!

OP posts:
ThePassionOfHoneydragon · 21/04/2014 23:04

An individual posting a thread about a given subject that currently relates to them is not obsessive.

Lots of different people who happen to have posted on the same subject does not make them obsessive.

Noticing only one particularly type of thread on mumsnet out of literally thousands and thousands and getting annoyed by the subject to the point of disliking the ops is probably is a little bit obsessive.

There are loads of repeated subjects on mumsnet. This one isn't much. It's simply something that you have have an issue with.

UABU to try and make it a generic issue and expect everyone else to feel the same.

andsmile · 21/04/2014 23:05

I had to study gender as part of a child development unit last year. Much research has found that gender are intrinsic to a culture and are reinforced generation after generation. Fathers are more likely to reinfroce traditional gender stereotypes than mothers. Though once children get to a certain age they know firsr knwo what sex they are, then after they become aware of what it means to be a boy or girl in their culture.

usualsuspectt · 21/04/2014 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tenrec · 21/04/2014 23:10

YANBU. Boys can wear girl clothes and vice versa, I don't care. But I think nearly all the OPs on those threads know that most people on MN think that and are posting to be told how wonderful they are. I think it's fairly obvious when that's not the case and there are some posters who genuinely don't know, but a lot of the time the poster is just asking for praise imo. I've noticed quite a few popping up and steer clear normally even if I think the posters are NBU at all.

ThePassionOfHoneydragon · 21/04/2014 23:12

If I had dyed my son pink instead of my daughter blue, do you think the op would've thought I was doing a "I'm so liberal tee hee" post?

Grin
andsmile · 21/04/2014 23:13

Nothing but it can get a bit too PC..I dont know anybody who would happily dress their DS in girls clothes, 'girl colours' yes but thats it.

ThePassionOfHoneydragon · 21/04/2014 23:13

How can tell whether they need praise or reassurance? Are you spying on us all Shock

usualsuspectt · 21/04/2014 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
eatmoremoveless · 21/04/2014 23:16

I'm slightly more worried by dyeing your children full stop! Have I missed a trick? Grin

I did once dye myself blue. It was an accident: my cheap school uniform was blue and I got caught in the rain. It would NOT come off!

OP posts:
andsmile · 21/04/2014 23:16

its not wrong, but neither is it wrong to say no I think it is wrong.

ultimately the OP can listen to all the opinions then take what they want from it, However a lot of people IMO dont want to be seen as being unPC or judgey.

I swear this place is not at all reflective of RL opinions on such matters.

5madthings · 21/04/2014 23:18

Yabu

And posters don't always get support,they ate often told They are opening up their children to ridicule and bullying or that they have an agenda and are trying to be hippy and right on etc.

If you have a child who goes against gender stereotypesthis is a real issue, why shouldn't they seek advice on a parenting site?

Original poster
eatmoremoveless · 21/04/2014 23:21

You see, I have honestly never seen that, 5. The responses have been overwhelmingly supportive in favour of the child wearing what he (it usually is a he) wants to.

There is the odd poster who raises concerns about bullying but they are (IME) given short shrift.

It goes to show how we see things differently, to a large extent.

OP posts:
ThePassionOfHoneydragon · 21/04/2014 23:22

My dd wears ds's old clothes.

My ds borrows my t shirts and hoodies

Ds's female mate, nicks his shoes Grin

I borrow ds's t shirts.

It's not a gender thing, it's because we're snappy dressers. I'm also enough of an old gimmer to not give a toss what others think, but some others need a bit of reassurance that it's all cool and groovy to do stuff like this! and I can't see why they shouldn't get if.

usualsuspectt · 21/04/2014 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 21/04/2014 23:25

I had a thread myself about ds3 and was slated fir letting him wear dresses. Accused of making him do it and people insisted it was because I have four boys (I also have a daughter)

There was a thread about a boy wearing a he'll kitty onsie and another one about a boy with a bag that could be considered 'girly' both posters were told They were setting their child up to be bullied. Another one I remember was a boy wanting to spend his bday money on a dolls pram, again the op was told not to let him.

Fir a while there was a run if them, they were instrumental in a group of mnetters setting up the lettoysbetoys campaign.

andsmile · 21/04/2014 23:27

You know Im think Im quite old fashioned but shoot me my kids seem to be getting along fine I am definately in the what children want is not always what is good for them

I find extreme child centered parenting, and being told it is ok to be such, very damaging. The world does not revolved around the child, there are consequences in the reactions from others...I dont think it is ok to let them blindly choose whatever they want to wear..