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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refused a seat to feed babies aibu?

110 replies

SoonToBeSix · 21/04/2014 14:30

I don't think I abu but am interested to know if I am wrong . I went to a busy tourist attraction and needed to feed my newborn twins. There were several picnic tables but not were empty. One table had a single lady sat at a table that would seat eight people. I went to the table and started to sort out my twins bottles. The lady announced that my husband could not sit at the table( I had a mobility scooter ). I said my babies are hungry and need feeding. She repeated that he could not sit at the table as she was saving it for her family that also included hungry babies.
I said she shouldn't reserve whole tables but her tone was so unpleasant that I felt intimidated and left the table.
Was I unreasonable in expecting the lady to share her table?

OP posts:
SystemIDUnknown · 21/04/2014 14:58

I don't understand how people can get so self-righteous about something so basic and...normal.

In a busy park/themepark/beach etc...if you see a space, you get there. Had a family dumped all of their things on a picnic bench then fucked off for half an hour, I get that that is rude and inconsiderate.

But in this scenario, it's first dibs. Should I make my own and my friends small children stand to eat their lunch just because you have babies? Um, nope. If I see a free table, i'll sit there if we're just waiting a few minutes for people to join us.

Floralnomad · 21/04/2014 15:00

YABU , having twins doesn't entitle you to a table ,the table was taken so you either wait for another or go somewhere else . As you have a scooter presumably there was a wall or some grass that your DH could have sat on . I am assuming that the ladies family were off purchasing food and TBH that actually gives her more rights to use the table if you were not going to purchase food .

JingletsJangletsYellowBanglets · 21/04/2014 15:05

So you came up to table that was occupied by a person and parked your mobility scooter next to it and started getting out baby bottles on the table. Without a word to the person who was sitting there?

So she then asked what you were doing? And when you informed her you're getting out bottles to feed your kids, which would be coming along shortly with your husband, she told you there was no room at the table for your husband as she was saving it for her family.

To which you replied (self righteously?), but it's to feed by babies and the woman said well our party also has babies which we need to feed.

When that didn't work, you told her she couldn't save seats. Until she glared you into shame and you finally retreated.

No, she wasn't rude. You, however, sound a bit entitled.Shock

Hissy · 21/04/2014 15:09

Mumsnet Bingo anyone?

Bottle fed babies
Twins
Mobility scooter
Saving tables

Did I miss anything?

Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 21/04/2014 15:09

Sorry I wasn't clear I didn't sit down at the table and neither did my dh. I was sat in my scooter getting bottles out of my bag. Before I had a chance to speak she announced in an aggressive manner that the table was reserved. My dh would have asked before sitting down we didn't get that far.

OP posts:
MincingOnBy · 21/04/2014 15:09

YABVU

She was using the table and any normal person would say "are these seats free." Or "do you mind if we share the table" etc. You seem to have no manners, courtesy or understanding of normal basic etiquette.

You were the rude one!

Morgause · 21/04/2014 15:10

YWBU and rude.

CSIJanner · 21/04/2014 15:10

"Mumsnet Bingo anyone?

Bottle fed babies
Twins
Mobility scooter
Saving tables

Did I miss anything?"

Fruit shoots and greggs sausage rolls and you've got yourself a full house Grin

MincingOnBy · 21/04/2014 15:10

Xpost, okay that is not so bad but it paints a different picture to what you described in your OP Confused

Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 21/04/2014 15:11

Jinglets there was room to share a table I wasn't asking her to give up her table for us.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 21/04/2014 15:12

You were still getting ready to help yourself to the table though, OP. The time to ask would be before you start getting things out of your bag. Anyway, what has this got to do with you not having a seat to feed your babies?

Still Confused

aermingers · 21/04/2014 15:14

You were rude and deserved telling off. I'm sure if you had asked and she had explained that she was saving the table for family who also needed their babies feeding you could have gone to another table where they had seats which they didn't need.

YABU. Incidentally my father has MS and uses a scooter and we have gone out when I had a small child and we still managed to be polite.

SpiderNugent · 21/04/2014 15:15

But you didnt know how many were in her party so you have no idea if there was room or not wighout asking

Hissy · 21/04/2014 15:15

Positioning the mobility scooter is an act of occupation OP.

That incumbent woman was 'managing your expectations'

Had YOU have asked if the seats were free it'd have been different, but you rocked up with no acknowledgement of her being there already.

Your DH could have sat on the grass if need be, you had a seat.

WooWooOwl · 21/04/2014 15:16

You don't know that there was room to share a table, in fact you were told that there wouldn't be room to share a table and you should have accepted that.

If you were getting bottles out of your bag right next to her table then you probably looked to her as if you were about to start using her table without asking, so that was why she spoke first.

Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 21/04/2014 15:16

Mincing sorry didn't mean to drip feed my point was meant to be about sharing tables not is it rude to just plonk your self down I would now I was being unreasonable if I had done that (grin) but it seems like I am being unreasonable and got the reserving table etiquette wrong. I genuinely thought in a busy place people would be happy to share a table.

OP posts:
SystemIDUnknown · 21/04/2014 15:18

So your dh and the babies weren't with you yet?

So I assume, had you parked your scooter next to an empty table whilst waiting, and along came my family and I and started unpacking our stuff on this table, you would have moved on? Because after all, you're just a single person sitting at a table, you shouldn't reserve it etc etc.

OR would you have told me that you were waiting for your dh and dc who needed feeding and the table was reserved?

Fairenuff · 21/04/2014 15:20

But, but, but OP, how is this a thread about you not having a seat when you did have a seat?

LouiseAderyn · 21/04/2014 15:20

Hmm. Not sure I believe that OP. I think most people expect to be asked first.

WaitMonkey · 21/04/2014 15:21

Both rude, but you where rude first.

Goblinchild · 21/04/2014 15:24

I have shared a table often, but never without a conversation first.

FuzzyWuzzywasaWoman · 21/04/2014 15:26

Why did you need a picnic table to feed newborn twins? Especially if you were already sitting down as such. Sorry if I have missed something.

Original poster
SoonToBeSix · 21/04/2014 15:27

I wasn't occupying the table though I needed a table to make up the bottles. Yes I was hoping my dh could sit at the table to feed one of the twins but the lady did not know this I could have just been I intending to make up the bottles and move on.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 21/04/2014 15:29

Why didn't you speak to her?

saintmerryweather · 21/04/2014 15:29

People probably would be happy to share if you asked. You didnt ask