To ask for your support if you were brought up by a working mother

[BumpNGrind]

This isn't about creating an argument about what's better-being a mother who works vs a sahm

I am pregnant and last week met up with a friend. She was lovely about my pregnancy and really happy for me and DH, but she started asking about what I was going to do afterwards with regards to work. She seemed really put out that I intend to work at least four days if not five, and convinced that I should and would change my mind. She accused me of only being a weekend mother.

I wasn't expecting this and just kind of shrugged it off, but I got quite upset afterwards. I was brought up by working parents, and don't feel that my parents were there part time, or that they loved me any less because of the choices they made. WIBU to suppose that there may be others who have positive experiences of being brought up by working parents? Please share if so.

My mother was a beauty therapist when I was born. She took a short break when I was newborn then did 2 days in the salon and 3 days mobile. She took me with her to many appointments & I had a childminder (who I absolutely adored) until I was four and in school. By that time, she had had my sister and her and my dad had separated.

Throughout my entire childhood my mum worked. She worked, setting up her own shop when I was 9 that proved to be fairly successful. She's now runs & teaches yoga holidays/retreats/classes here & in Europe and is also company director for a new start up project.

No, she wasn't always at every assembly, every sports day or helping out at the school fetes, and yes at times I was upset by that, why couldn't she stay at home like such and such's Mum. We drove a clapped out car, wore hand-me-downs and were vegetarian because we couldn't afford meat. BUT we had a holiday every year (nothing fancy!), owned our home and above all else had a work ethic installed in us that if you want something, you work for it, you don't have it handed to you.

Having said all that I'm currently a SAHM(!!!), but not through choice; my contract came to an end last year and due to personal circumstances haven't yet been able to find a job that allows for suitable home/work/family balance. But I will!

DF left when I was two and DM brought me up as a single mum. She always worked. Part time until I went to secondary school and then full time from then on. I would go to my cousins' house after school until she finished work.

I am not traumatized. I am so proud of my DM for carrying on even when unexpectedly becoming a single mother. I'm an only child and we have a fantastic relationship. I can honestly say I never felt abandoned or anything at all like that.

I am a sahm at the moment but am going through a separation. As a single mum I will be following her example and going back to work as soon as I can. I want to provide for my ds on my own.

Coming at this from the other side, my mother was SAHM when I was small, mainly because she thought it was 'the right thing to do' and because she has never really found a career she enjoyed.

She has often said to me that her staying at home has given me the 'best start'. I don't have the heart to tell her that my main memories of her from childhood are of her being bored and snappy, resenting her life and my father. She chopped careers a bit when she went back to work, now still works full time and worries about money, whereas my father (who worked full time) has retired early and therefore I am able to see him much more often and we have always had a great relationship, probably because he has always been satisfied with his life.

I don't have any children yet but I will be working full time when I do, because I have found a career I enjoy and am good at (and that doesn't take kindly to career-breaks). My aim would be to gain seniority so that when my children are older I will be able to do things like help them move house, go for lunch with them, possibly look after their children sometimes, things that my mother now cannot do for me because financially she has to work full time (I don't mind this btw).