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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to pay £50 for a load of old tat that's been foisted on me?

234 replies

CarrieBradshawsCloset · 17/04/2014 00:36

We get on well with our next door neighbours. We often get together for wine/a takeaway, and the DCs get on well too. We do them quite a lot of favours, such as looking after their pets when they go on holiday, and DH is an electrician so has done a few electrical jobs for them for free. I am a beauty therapist and sometimes wax the woman's eyebrows or paint her nails if she's having a night out, and I never charge her. It's never occurred to me to charge her in all honesty.

She has a DD who is two years older than my DD, and has been saying for a while that she has a big bag of clothes for my DD. My DD has enough clothes and she doesn't need anymore (not bragging, just giving background info), however I said, out of politeness more than anything "thank you, that would be nice".

So anyway, I got back from town today to find a big bag full of clothes on the doorstep. Nothing special, just Tesco, Primark, Asda stuff, that kind of thing, and not in brilliant condition, but useable as play wear. I sent my neighbour a text to say thank you and she sent me a text back saying "£50 will be fine for them all, there's at least £100 worth of stuff there so it's a bargain. Can I have it ASAP please Hon?"

I am genuinely gobsmacked! Firstly that she expects payment in the first place. Secondly because she's essentially foisted the items on me, I didn't ask for them, and thirdly because it's not like it's in good condition, it's old, faded supermarket clothes that are pretty cheap to buy new anyway.

WIBU to pop them next door in the morning and say that we're a bit skint at the moment and I didn't realise she wanted money for them, so she'd probably be better off selling them at a boot sale?

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 17/04/2014 09:56

Cheeky bitch! Tell her to fuck off.

ProcessYellowC · 17/04/2014 09:57

Some good ideas, particularly not saying you are skint - she sounds like such a chancer she'd try to entice you at a lower price or payment by monthly installments!

If it weren't for the chips and the 5p I'd have thought it was a joke.

RockinHippy · 17/04/2014 09:58

I am beyond gobsmacked at the chips incident, anyone who could behave that way would be getting no favours from me & I would be distancing myself in no uncertain terms - these people are not friends!

I also agree with not giving her excuses, the cheeky cow needs a wake up call - honesty all the way with this one

"Sorry didn't realise you were expecting payment for the clothes, we really don't need or want them, I only said yes out to be polite, leaving them on your doorstep, thanks for thinking of us, I'm sure I will return the favour in future" Grin

TheFarceAndTheSpurious · 17/04/2014 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Aventurine · 17/04/2014 10:05

Have you returned the clothes OP?

SauvignonBlanche · 17/04/2014 10:07

How about, "I'm sorry, there's been a misunderstanding, I never buy second-hand clothes"?

Legologgo · 17/04/2014 10:10

she called you HON?

clearly working class - DO NOT WEAR THE CLOTHES

queenofwesteros · 17/04/2014 10:14

Grasping cow!! YAdefNBU and I agree, don't tell her you're skint and stop enabling her freebies!
This reminds me of my daughter's childhood best friend's mum. We were sort of friends by default though I found her quite hard work tbh. I took her DD loads of places, cinema, soft play, family park etc etc and never asked or was offered a penny from her mum towards it. Loads of sleepovers and tea at ours almost every week but only one very grudging offer back to have my DD for tea. One day the girls went swimming and though my DD had the money in her backpack she forgot where it was and the friends mum paid (£2.40 for a child swim). The next day my DD came home from school and told me her friend had said her mum wanted the £2.85 back by FRIDAY AT THE LATEST. I was utterly gobsmacked, not least because she was making a profit!! I didn't say anything at the time but quietly distanced myself and stopped inviting her out. As it happened the girls became distant anyway at the same time but I've never forgotten that. It wasn't like they weren't well off either!

rollonthesummer · 17/04/2014 10:14

If you say you're skint, she'll probably ask for you to do endless weekly beauty treatments that you'll be unable to refuse, as payment. Then she'll probably keep giving you bags of old crap to get you to carry on doing her nails! Atop this now! Don't leave it on her doorstep in case it gets stolen or a cat wees on it-then she'll charge you! Put them in her hands!! Today!

FrankSpenser · 17/04/2014 10:21

OP? ?

expatinscotland · 17/04/2014 10:22

The OP has returned the clothes.

EverythingCounts · 17/04/2014 10:22

It's almost always people who are financially comfortable who do this. It's how they got that way. I think people get a bit carried away with the suggested responses - you do have to live next door - but saying that actually you don't want any clothes right now so they can have them back to go on eBay is the best response. And readjust your relationship with them now you know how mean they are. Make sure they pay up for snacks etc.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/04/2014 10:26

expat has she?

expatinscotland · 17/04/2014 10:26

She says so in the last sentence of the OP.

Fairenuff · 17/04/2014 10:32

OP are you certain that she has access to all this money they have and that she is not kept to a tight budget by her dh? It wouldn't surprise me, there is so much that goes on behind closed doors, and it would explain why she appears to be so careful with every penny.

BerylStreep · 17/04/2014 10:33

I don't think OP has returned them yet.

BTW, my friend's DD feeds our cats when we are away on holiday, and we pay her £5 a day. Stop feeding their pets for free when they are away.

expatinscotland · 17/04/2014 10:33

Who cares? If she wanted money, she should have said so with the offer.

expatinscotland · 17/04/2014 10:34

She wrote, 'Was I being unreasonable,' and says she returned the clothes on the pretext of being skint.

WildThong · 17/04/2014 10:35

Ah, I read it as "would I be unreasonable" not "was ibu"

If you haven't already returned them, don't pussyfoot with sorrys and explanations of skintness, none of this requires you to apologise in any way.

BerylStreep · 17/04/2014 10:35

Oh, I thought WIBU was 'would I be unreasonable'

Aventurine · 17/04/2014 10:35

Think op was saying Would I be unreasonable to pop them back in the morning in the last para

expatinscotland · 17/04/2014 10:36

So many threads about pisstakers like this.

sherazade · 17/04/2014 10:39

Why should the op even have to pretend to be skint? The neighbour is outrageously , disgustingly rude. I'd leave it on the doorstep with a note saying 'no thanks' and then avoid her like the plague in future.

rollonthesummer · 17/04/2014 10:40

OP said WIBU to pop them next door in the morning

So presumably she hadn't already done it when she posted.

bumbleymummy · 17/04/2014 10:42

Shock at cheeky people!

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