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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to pay £50 for a load of old tat that's been foisted on me?

234 replies

CarrieBradshawsCloset · 17/04/2014 00:36

We get on well with our next door neighbours. We often get together for wine/a takeaway, and the DCs get on well too. We do them quite a lot of favours, such as looking after their pets when they go on holiday, and DH is an electrician so has done a few electrical jobs for them for free. I am a beauty therapist and sometimes wax the woman's eyebrows or paint her nails if she's having a night out, and I never charge her. It's never occurred to me to charge her in all honesty.

She has a DD who is two years older than my DD, and has been saying for a while that she has a big bag of clothes for my DD. My DD has enough clothes and she doesn't need anymore (not bragging, just giving background info), however I said, out of politeness more than anything "thank you, that would be nice".

So anyway, I got back from town today to find a big bag full of clothes on the doorstep. Nothing special, just Tesco, Primark, Asda stuff, that kind of thing, and not in brilliant condition, but useable as play wear. I sent my neighbour a text to say thank you and she sent me a text back saying "£50 will be fine for them all, there's at least £100 worth of stuff there so it's a bargain. Can I have it ASAP please Hon?"

I am genuinely gobsmacked! Firstly that she expects payment in the first place. Secondly because she's essentially foisted the items on me, I didn't ask for them, and thirdly because it's not like it's in good condition, it's old, faded supermarket clothes that are pretty cheap to buy new anyway.

WIBU to pop them next door in the morning and say that we're a bit skint at the moment and I didn't realise she wanted money for them, so she'd probably be better off selling them at a boot sale?

OP posts:
NurseyWursey · 17/04/2014 01:54

5p. Bloody hell. I have more than that down the side of my couch.

AdoraBell · 17/04/2014 02:18

Luckily your DM/PILs/other rellies have just bought a load of clothes for DD so neighbour can have her crap bag of clothes back and give them to a good home the cheeky mare.

YA so NBU.

NurseyWursey · 17/04/2014 02:42

I have no idea why but this has really annoyed me on your behalf. Cheek of some people.

Next time she comes round, put a price list up on your wall. Say casually, oh there's the new price list by the way. She will get the hint.

PlantsAndFlowers · 17/04/2014 02:56

I wouldn't use being skint as an excuse, or you run the risk of her either saying you can just give her the money when you have it, or starting to bargain with you on price!

'Sorry, didn't realise you wanted money for them, am happy to give them back. I'll bring them round tomorrow thanks.'

AlpacaYourThings · 17/04/2014 03:59

Some people are unbelievable!

I can't quite believe that she would eat in front if your child and not offer her any food! Angry that is awful.

5p?! 5fuckingp

Charge her for all the work to be done, cosmetic or electrical. Cheeky bitch.

Yes, agree you should say you don't have the cash at the minute. If she says that you can pay her back later just say "Oh no, I wouldn't be happy to do that. But thank you for the offer, it's very kind if you"

AdeleNazeem · 17/04/2014 04:21

gobsmacked. Totally gobsmacked.

I'm a terrible one for doing favours for friends when I can ill afford the time or cost myself, anyway, but the sheer cheek of that is unbelievable!!!

no more free beauty treatments or electrical works for them. Your solution sounds excellent, well done, a not too confrontational way of getting out of the position, and at least this will serve you as a warning in the future

I absolutely cannot believe people could eat around a child without offering something, even if the child said no they weren't hungry i'd give them something in case they were just being shy or polite, it's just basic good manners and teaching sharing!!!

giraffesCantBoogie · 17/04/2014 04:28

cow

Rachie1986 · 17/04/2014 04:35

Let us know how it goes!

ZenGardener · 17/04/2014 04:54

Actually I agree with plantsandflowers don't say you are skint, just text that you don't want them and leave them on their doorstep.

Do all that "No is a complete sentence" stuff.

Now your eyes have been opened definitely distance yourself from these people.

pombearsforbrunch · 17/04/2014 06:21

Obviously you don't need her washed out rags, but I be inclined to text the following:

Thanks! But there's no way I could afford this right now - how about I owe you 3 eyebrow and nail painting sessions?

OR substitute for something else? Like : the next electrical thing you need doing will be on mates rates.

OR Thanks! £50 is great. That reminds me, I never sent you my invoice for (nails) + (brows) etc. Total is £400. Having a mais come to your own house and tend to you would cost at least £100000000 so it's a bargain. Just deduct the money for the clothes from that.

Botanicbaby · 17/04/2014 06:42

I'd have cut them off after finding out they'd eaten after swimming and excluded your DD. I'm genuinely gobsmacked that anyone could do that in front of someone Easter Angry

Such bad manners as well as being stingy. The 5p is just ridiculous.

I hope you never ever provide her with free beauty treatments again or work on their house.

I wouldn't even say you're skint and can't afford the clothes, just leave the bag on her doorstep saying you didn't realise she was selling them rather than a gesture of kindness.

RedFocus · 17/04/2014 06:44

Thanks but no thanks. Be honest and tell her your dd doesn't actually need them.

MrsBungle · 17/04/2014 06:51

Shock don't say you're skint - just tell her you don't want them. She is a cheeky mare!

And do not do any free eyebrows or electrical work ever again - I'm incensed for you! To be honest, i would be cutting them out after the chips thing.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 17/04/2014 06:55

Don't offer anything in exchange! And don't say you are skirt, that implies you would pay her for her old tat if you had the money. Just say 'sorry I didn't realise you expected paying, I really don't need all this stuff so if you need the cash, try eBay' and stop doing her any favours. She's not a friend, she's a user. I'd have been fucking furious after the chips incident and backed off then anyway.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 17/04/2014 06:55

You are skint

picnicbasketcase · 17/04/2014 07:01

Please do report back on what happens when you give the bag back. She's got some fucking nerve Angry

Wooodpecker · 17/04/2014 07:04

Yanbu. Personally I wouldn't be confrontational as you are neighbours. I would just say you have looked andv realised you don't need the clothes. And then don't ne so forthcoming to do favours next time. I can't stand tight people.

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 17/04/2014 07:08

I'm sure that once you cut off the free stuff they'll drop you anyway

Justnapping · 17/04/2014 07:10

YANBU!!!! Cheeky cow!!!!!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 17/04/2014 07:14

"sorry I didn't realise you expected paying, I really don't need all this stuff so if you need the cash, try eBay"

^^ this

LouiseAderyn · 17/04/2014 07:15

You should have dealt with them after the chip thing. I wouldnt have let it go of my dc had been treated like that. These people are not your friends - they are freeloaders and so far you've been had!

Return the clothes and stop doing them favours.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 17/04/2014 07:15

Incidentally, on eBay, she'd never get half original price for a bunch of faded supermarket clothes. And I'm sure she knows that.

Amrapaali · 17/04/2014 07:15

Agree with Ehric. Dont say you are skint. She may expect you to pay for the clothes when you come into money or next payday.

Tinkerball · 17/04/2014 07:19

Yea some people are clearly stingy but to not get your DD anything to eat when they are all stuffing their faces is just plain nasty.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 17/04/2014 07:20

Totally agree tinkerball - or at least share!