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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay £50 for a load of old tat that's been foisted on me?

234 replies

CarrieBradshawsCloset · 17/04/2014 00:36

We get on well with our next door neighbours. We often get together for wine/a takeaway, and the DCs get on well too. We do them quite a lot of favours, such as looking after their pets when they go on holiday, and DH is an electrician so has done a few electrical jobs for them for free. I am a beauty therapist and sometimes wax the woman's eyebrows or paint her nails if she's having a night out, and I never charge her. It's never occurred to me to charge her in all honesty.

She has a DD who is two years older than my DD, and has been saying for a while that she has a big bag of clothes for my DD. My DD has enough clothes and she doesn't need anymore (not bragging, just giving background info), however I said, out of politeness more than anything "thank you, that would be nice".

So anyway, I got back from town today to find a big bag full of clothes on the doorstep. Nothing special, just Tesco, Primark, Asda stuff, that kind of thing, and not in brilliant condition, but useable as play wear. I sent my neighbour a text to say thank you and she sent me a text back saying "£50 will be fine for them all, there's at least £100 worth of stuff there so it's a bargain. Can I have it ASAP please Hon?"

I am genuinely gobsmacked! Firstly that she expects payment in the first place. Secondly because she's essentially foisted the items on me, I didn't ask for them, and thirdly because it's not like it's in good condition, it's old, faded supermarket clothes that are pretty cheap to buy new anyway.

WIBU to pop them next door in the morning and say that we're a bit skint at the moment and I didn't realise she wanted money for them, so she'd probably be better off selling them at a boot sale?

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 17/04/2014 08:02

'DD really doesn't need any clothes at the moment, I only said yes to be polite. You can have them back.'

End of story. But I'd be tempted to add 'And you're having a laugh if you think I'd pay you £50 for a bag of shite I don't want, you grasping harridan.'

Coconutty · 17/04/2014 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzpig · 17/04/2014 08:05

Good grief Shock well you've certainly seen her true colours now!

I agree don't say you are skint, tell her you don't need them at such a ridiculous cost

diddl · 17/04/2014 08:05

I'm surprised that you're surprised given her past behaviour.

Give them back, tell her you didn't realise that she wasn't offering to give them to you.

And that now you realise why she's never offered anything for the beauty treatments that you have given her.

shewhowines · 17/04/2014 08:06

Wow!

SweetSilverSongOfALark · 17/04/2014 08:08

Wow!

Do update us on her reaction!!

KEGirlOnFire · 17/04/2014 08:10

I think I would say 'can I use all the beauty treatments I've done as payment please hon?'. Wink

Sparklingbrook · 17/04/2014 08:11

Anyone else hope the neighbours have an electrical emergency soon? Grin

sewingandcakes · 17/04/2014 08:13

"I didn't realise you wanted me to pay for these clothes; I have returned them as I don't need them.... Hon".

Honest and to the point!

maddy68 · 17/04/2014 08:15

I would say " oh sorry, didn't realise you were selling them, I thought they were in lue of all the beauty treatments" sorry, bit skint. Try ebay

Saski · 17/04/2014 08:16

'can I use all the beauty treatments I've done as payment please hon?'

Love the "hon" at the end. With an X

HemlockStarglimmer · 17/04/2014 08:17

Something similar happened to me. I'd done lots of favours for this particular woman (she was a student and 1000s of miles away from her home) and she offered to sell me a load of clothes that no longer fitted her.

I was a new mother with an unemployed husband. No way was I going to spend money we didn't have on clothes I didn't need.

Sparklingbrook · 17/04/2014 08:17

I am still sad about the chips.

I knew a woman who did childminding. In the holidays she would take her own DC to soft play with the mindees. One Mother of a mindee wouldn't pay for the softplay so he had to sit in the pushchair facing the wall with a book for an hour. Sad Bit irrelevant I know but this reminded me.

JulesJules · 17/04/2014 08:20

Shock The chips! Poor DD!

I wouldn't say that you are skint.

Sorry I didn't realise you expected paying, I really don't need all this stuff so if you need the cash, try eBay as Doctrine suggested is perfect imo.

And next time she wants nails done, tell her that you have decided to start charging.

whatever5 · 17/04/2014 08:20

What a cheek. Even if you hadn't done all the favours for her in the past £50 would be a lot for a bag of second hand cheap clothes. She sounds like the sort of person who uses people.

I would just give the clothes back saying that you don't want to pay £50 for them.

IsItMeOr · 17/04/2014 08:23

I think the chips is the worst. Plain mean.

patienceisvirtuous · 17/04/2014 08:23

What a chancer OP!

Reminds me of the little old lady who sold her house to my parents. Because she was on her own with no family, my dad helped out by unplumbing her washer and replumbing it in her new house (just down the road) etc, took down her light fittings and curtain poles etc.

Anyway, she mentioned a rickety old wardrobe in the spare room and said she would have to organise for the council to take it away, so my dad said, don't worry about it, just leave it here and I will sort it. Her response was... 'how about a little offer for it then, say £20?' Shock :o

ImaginaryPoster · 17/04/2014 08:24

I would text back saying " Oh thank god you mentioned money. I didn't know how to bring it up as we are such good friends. Its April and the accountant is sorting the books for our two businesses. He's wanting to know when your going to start paying off your accounts for all the work we have done for you. I can drop off the updated bills when I return the clothes as DD isn't needing any more." Grin
But I am feeling grumpy today.
I short "Best you collect them then, I wouldn't have accepted them if I had known the charge."

PedantMarina · 17/04/2014 08:28

Sparklingbrook, you are evil.

not at a jealous that I didn't think of it first

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 17/04/2014 08:28

'Oh! I didn't realise we were charging each other for bits and bobs! Hang on then, I'll add up the eyebrows and the electrics we've done and the nails and the babysitting and get back to you, then we can work out who's in credit. Oh and I'll need to actually go through the bag to see if there's anything that we need if it's a purchase and not you just getting rid of old stuff! Lolz HON.'

Obviously don't, just say thanks but no thanks. Grin

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 17/04/2014 08:28

Love that, imaginary poster!

I was quoting another poster upthread but am happy to bask in her reflected glory Grin

patienceisvirtuous · 17/04/2014 08:29

Sparkling that is a very sad story. As is the one re the chips!

Can't understand why the minder didn't either pay for the child or take them all to do something free :(

Purpleroxy · 17/04/2014 08:29

Have you already got clothes in those sizes - you could say that as well as saying you are skint. But what an awful woman. I would be taking a step back from that "friendship".

Inertia · 17/04/2014 08:30

What a mean family they are - one thing I will never comprehend is how anyone can be so hardfaced they would eat in front of a hungry child without sharing food.

The line suggested above about how you thought the clothes were in return for all the free electrical work and beauty treatments is a good suggestion- it makes the point about quite how much they have sponged off you.

riskit4abiskit · 17/04/2014 08:30

Give her the clothes back and cellotape 5p to the bag! What a weirdo