27 year old Grandmother

[bongobaby]

Her 12 year old daughter has given birth last Sundayand the dad is 13. She fell pregnant in year 6 of primary school. They are totally in love and into each other and want to get married.
Why an earth would you want to be a grandmother at 27 with a daughter of 12 now a mother.

"What are your intentions with my son young lady?"

This has reminded me of the scene in 10 things i hate about you where the dad makes the daughter wear a pregnancy belly before she goes out on her date. Does your DH have one ordered yet?

I think a lot of parents assume their teenagers social lives will be like an episode of Skins whereas the reality is that many teens lives are more likely to resemble The Inbetweeners.

I think lots of teens assume that too. Till they get to 17 and find themselves locked out of their own house at their own house party to which 4 people turned up, none of which are the boy you really fancy and hoped would come, causing lovely friends to offer to ring round and see if they can get some people you dont know to come just to make it look like a party. You refuse as, despite the rebel you try to insist you are, you know your mum will already know people have been in her fridge and you dont wWe all get along fine, bit weekends are becoming increasingly hard work. My step son is sarcastic and a teaser and regularly brings my children to tears. Step daughter is stroppy and stomps about. ant to die twice. Instead you sheepishly knock on your next door neighbours door and ask to borrow a yellow pages so you can phone a locksmith who you will pay £95 to borrowed from best friend's boyfriend who had to drive from his house to bring it meaning your party now has 5 people there.

Or maybe that was just me

Sorry- that was in response to squooshs last post.

Dammit!

Reposted without the C&P from other thread

I think lots of teens assume that too. Till they get to 17 and find themselves locked out of their own house at their own house party to which 4 people turned up, none of which are the boy you really fancy and hoped would come, causing lovely friends to offer to ring round and see if they can get some people you dont know to come just to make it look like a party. You refuse as, despite the rebel you try to insist you are, you know your mum will already know people have been in her fridge and you dont want to die twice. Instead you sheepishly knock on your next door neighbours door and ask to borrow a yellow pages so you can phone a locksmith who you will pay £95 to borrowed from best friend's boyfriend who had to drive from his house to bring it meaning your party now has 5 people there.

Or maybe that was just me

LEMSIPS brilliant.

I think our children should be made listen to these stories. What better way to terrify them of even attempting to be cool and rebellious than educating them on their genetic predisposition to being the one who just cant pull it off. Ever.

LaQueen

What would your reaction be if your teenage daughter told you she was pregnant? Just out of interest what would you do?

I think your view is very simplistic, you place a lot of faith on them knowing boundaries but my experience of every single teenager I have ever known is that they push boundaries, break rules and quite often do things that they know their parents would disapprove of. I hope your approach works with your children.

See I pushed every boundary that was put in place. Actually I don't think I pushed, I crashed through it at lightening speed. My Brother and I were and to some extent still are polar opposites, my parents raised us the same but we turned out very different. To think that because a "boundary" is put in place means your children will respect it is naive IMHO.

Boundaries good, precautions put in place in case certain boundaries are completely ignored (especially when it could result in something life changing) excellent.

Lot's of schools give out condoms, you don't have to be over 16 to get them. There is a reason for that.

Winced when I saw the 'it won't happen' comment...
rMy mum insisted it wouldn't happen. We had all the talks, she was very plain that she'd be shocked and disappointed if I had underage sex or got pregnant young. I insisted it wouldn't happen to me - I'm not that sort, I'm ambitious, a high achiever in and out of school, clued up on contraception. I didn't sleep around, didn't drink, had no interest in sex.

My mum was present at her granddaughter's birth last week.

Ambition, intelligence and 'it won't happen to me' are crappy excuses for contraception.

"I believe that children's nature are pretty much hard wired, and parenting pretty much just polishes up (or tarnishes) what is essentially already created."

If you believe that, why are you surprised that other posters are handling their teenagers with different natures, err, differently?

I Remember going to a friends house aged 13 and her dad let us have one cider and watch The Exosist.

I thought that was the best ever.

Agree also that each teenager is very different even if you parent the same. Some push and some never do.

Hmm, I gleaned surprise from your tone

Things like "I just think it's too easy to be so open and equal opportunities minded and benignly acknowledging of under-age teenage sex " when most posters supplying condoms (in a collage or not) have taken a judgement on their own teenagers and their natures, just like you have.

moonmin are you ok? How old are you?

Look we all parent differently. I think we are all hugely influences by our own upbringing too of course.

LaQueen you sound like you are parenting like your mum did and it worked for you and am sure it will, in turn, work got your dds.

My mum didn't talk about sex at all, was embarrassed by periods and once told me off aged 14 for leaving my box of tampax in the toilet as your father was embaressed

I was having sex at 15 and doing all sorts and she hadn't a clue.

I don't want that for my dcs. So yes may have gone the complete opposite and had a conform box from the time ds1 was 15 and my older dd now 15 is on the pill but I have never pushed it just been there if they asked me for help. As I guess we all are.

I see early pregnancy as so damaging and bloody hard that I am proactively trying to ensure it will not happen to my kids.

Of course it's not the end of the world but I want my children to enjoy life as selfish singles for years yet.

But we all have fingers crossed