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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to entertain dd all week?

125 replies

Fuckeroo · 14/04/2014 12:57

I work ft and have three children. I love them dearly and want them to be happy. But equally I do not want to spend every minute of my previous week of work entertaining them.

My 11yo and 2yo are happy pottering today. 10yo DD has not stopped mithering to 'do stuff' all day. I am exhausted. I am now on the sofa (on hold to the bank so still doing stuff) and she is having a strop because I said I don't have anything planned for her.

Help me.

Being at work is so much easier than this...

OP posts:

Original poster

Fuckeroo · 14/04/2014 13:24

My point is that she wants to be entertained ALL THE TIME. She has been spoilt by going to her aunts all last week, my sister went into activity overdrive.

She is bored because she is having to entertain herself for the first time in over a week.

OP posts:

Saski · 14/04/2014 13:25

I was never entertained as a child. If my children want a reading, puzzle or baking partner I'm their girl.
Otherwise they're on their own.

Artandco · 14/04/2014 13:25

I think playing alone is reasonable but not all day. You need to either have a plan for later or do something in the morning etc

No one has to stay at home with no money.

all go out for bike ride. Take picnic lunch. Get a bike seat for back for 2 year old

let them all take scooters to park. Pack snacks and drink

take a ball/ tennis rackets/ toy cars to park. Little ones like playing with cars in grass/ mud. Play game ish of tennis on field if no nets. Or all kick ball about.

make kites, take to park

if any money long walk with ice cream at the end

take out to local park/ woods and let climb trees

Going out doesn't have to cost a penny. As well as above depending on where you are there are probably free museums/ play parks/ Easter activities etc

I think you would be more reasonable to explain to 10 year old. Ie can I have a little quiet time to relax until say x o'clock. Then after lunch we can play a board game/ go on garden and play together or something of her choice. She will probably be happier knowing at some point in the day she will have some attention.

BackforGood · 14/04/2014 13:26

Some children need more 'entertaining' than others - I have both types.
I used to ask mine for a list of what they wanted to do and try to fit in what we could, but they knew it came with the proviso that I also needed time to do things I needed to get done too.
Fill up time by getting them involved in doing things to get ready - so making the picnic before going out.
Also have used the phrase 'well, if you are bored, I've got a list of jobs you can do'.
Mine never minded doing 'different' jobs though - washing the windows or some gardening or washing the car or decorating type stuff that doesn't come under 'normal mundane daily chores'.
Also, get them to cook the evening meal rather than just baking cakes.

Original poster

Fuckeroo · 14/04/2014 13:27

This weekend we have done riding, baking, Easter egg hunt, shopping (for her), games, puzzles and crafts.

This morning she has helped in the garden, planned he birthday party, written a story with my constant input and is now on minecraft and allegedly bored.

OP posts:

CoffeeTea103 · 14/04/2014 13:28

At 10 years old she should be capable of entertaining herself. Tell her to play with her siblings, read a book, play with toys etc. She just sounds spoilt and playing up.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 14/04/2014 13:30

I remember as a kid we entertained ourselves. We called on friends and went outside to play. We ran around. We went on our bikes. We went on roller skates, played tennis, played swingball or football or "Princess has a headache" type games. We played for hours outside and we had such fun. If our friends went in for their dinner or whatever, we might go home too and pick up a book and read and entertain ourselves that way.

Now, kids (and I know this first hand as I have a 12 yr old and a 7 yr old) want or should I say demand to be entertained for every waking minute of the day, usually by some form of technology - TV, games console, tablet, hand-held gaming device. It is more unusual to find a kid who will pick up a book than one who picks up their DS.

I empathise with you OP.

Give your DD a book and tell her to read a chapter of it and that you'll ask her questions on it afterwards - things like what are the names of the characters, did you like the story so far, that kind of thing.
or
Tell her you've hidden 5 somewhere in her room and she'll only get the money if she can find it (this might only work if her room is untidy).

Maryz · 14/04/2014 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treaclesoda · 14/04/2014 13:32

I take on board the sentiment that going out has to cost money but it's a big assumption that everyone has a park they can go to. There is no park in my village, no where to take kids to play, nowhere for a picnic etc.

I'm fortunate to be in the comfortable position of being able to put kids in the car and drive to a park or whatever, but if I was strapped for cash that wouldn't be an option.

I don't often take my kids out to do stuff though. They are very capable of entertaining themselves, they're in the playroom playing schools as I type. I think it's often not so much activities that they crave, but company.

treaclesoda · 14/04/2014 13:33

By which I mean that as long as there is at least one other child to play with, be that sibling or friend, they can manage ok.

Thetallesttower · 14/04/2014 13:34

I love the 'Cinderella duty' idea, I'm going to go with that!

If you have been entertaining her non-stop for a long while, just be frank. Say I don't have anything planned for today and you will need to keep yourself busy. Don't comment on what she chooses to do, be it TV/computer, milling about annoying you. Just leave her to find her way out of boredom.

treaclesoda · 14/04/2014 13:35

gah, I meant that going out doesn't have to cost money.

NobodyLivesHere · 14/04/2014 13:35

We are spending all day today at home, and most likely tomorrow too. We went out yesterday and have stuff planned for Wednesday- I have an autoimmune disorder that means a day out wrecks me for the next few days. the kids entertain themselves a lot on those days. Reading, playing games, garden, iPads etc. it's not unreasonable to want a 10 year old to entertain herself for a while if the OP has other stuff to do/wants a bloody break.

Thetallesttower · 14/04/2014 13:35

And I don't go out every day of the holidays, some days we do, then the days at home are really precious and we can slob about. I don't think a 10 year old needs parental entertainment, especially if she's already had lots of that all holiday so far.

Nanny0gg · 14/04/2014 13:38

From your post it sounds like your staying in the house all day today, that's a bit unreasonable when you have kids.

Really? Blimey. Clearly I (and my children) had deprived childhoods.

Sicaq · 14/04/2014 13:40

A ten year old is easily old enough to amuse themselves for a week. Astonished at the harshness of some of the replies here.

Agree with the posters who say if she's bored there is always cleaning to do ...

Mothergothel99 · 14/04/2014 13:43

I have a child that is needy, plus one who can self entertain. Yes they are tiring!
Get them out in the morning for some good excercise and they are easier to manage. ( we've been swimming this morning and now they are playing in the garden)
I also offer cleaning to any bored child, amazing how they find something to do.

Artandco · 14/04/2014 13:44

Nanny - I as an adult wouldn't want to stay in all day, so assume same of children. Doesn't have to be manic. A chilled out day might just be a wander to local bakery for breakfast crossients in am that passes half hour is so, and a little time out in afternoon going for stroll/ read books outside on picnic rug.

Treacle - sorry you have no park. However surely in a village you have field/ some grass somewhere you can walk/ scoot/ picnic/ read book outdoors/ whatever. Most are surrounded by farms etc. many farmers with lots of land wouldn't mind you walking across edge if you ask first

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 14/04/2014 13:47

Does she not have friends locally she can go and knock for?

eddiemairswife · 14/04/2014 13:47

Doesn't she have friends to play with? I can remember being bored. My mother used to say, smugly, "When we were young we made our own entertainment." As you can imagine that didn't go down very well. I don't remember my own children moaning about being bored; probably because they were too busy fighting, quarreling, and being generally annoying to each other!

FrigginRexManningDay · 14/04/2014 13:47

I wouldnt bring my children to the local park unless I wanted to educate them in alcoholism or drug addiction. The nearest park suitable is a bus ride away.

JohnBarleycorn · 14/04/2014 13:48

Invite a friend over for her or ask her sibling to play with her. Give them a visual timetable so they can all see when things are happening and when they have to do their own thing. Make sire she can access her toys and games. Provide a list of ideas... I once saw a great list online somewhere of boredom busters for kids which might appear in a google search. Set her a challenge. Get her to do puzzles sitting at the kitchen table while you do your own thing next to her. Maube all that will fill half an hour!

Maryz · 14/04/2014 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 14/04/2014 13:59

I'm with Maryz on this.

She is 10 !! Not 3. She needs to learn to entertain herself for at least a few hours.

It is a very bad idea to go out every day ! I always think of this as something mothers of small children do to get a break for themselves.

IamInvisible · 14/04/2014 13:59

Where do people live where they can "wander to a bakery to buy croissants", "ride a bike to a park" etc? It all sounds like an Enid Blyton novel! Try living in the arse end of nowhere, where you take your life in your hands if you walk/cycle on a country lane!

My kids are older now, but they did plenty of entertaining themselves. Yes, I baked with them, took them out for days etc, but not every bloody day.

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