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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be told that it's a suprise that my daughter is in nursery this week..

120 replies

Rowood · 14/04/2014 10:43

Im teacher, my daughter attends nursery 2 days a week (Monday and Wednesdays) I turned up with her today on the first day of the holidays and the deputy said to my daughter "oh I'm surprised to see you here today with your mummy being a teacher"...I responded with "oh I'm going to clean the house and do some ironing" meaning I'm going to have a day doing fuck all without my beautiful but very bossy 2 year old ordering me around.
She does this everytime I drop her off in the holidays and I always, stupidly justify my actions- I wouldn't mind but I have two older children (who are in footy club today- their choice!) so it's not like they think I'm dumping running and resting (even though I am today).
What annoys me even more is that In the holidays I drop her at 10 and collect at 3- she sleeps for 2 of these hours and I pay £44 a day anyway! Do they really think I'm going to pay for nothing when she loves going there?
Grrrrrrr anyway I'd better get on with my ironing Wink (switched on the electric blanket)

OP posts:
MoominsAreScary · 14/04/2014 19:32

I did the same with ds2 when I was working, unless we were going on holiday he went in 2 days a week.

He loved going and playing with all his friends and I didn't want to be paying £30 a day for him to not go in.

Noone ever saud anything though

montymum · 14/04/2014 19:35

I was saying to DH earlier that I think Ds needs to start going to the childminder one day a week in the holidays. I have so much school work to do that it is playing on my mind the whole time and meaning that I am not enjoying my time off with ds as much as I should be. If one day a week could be devoted to getting all planning, reports etc done then I could relax and enjoy the holidays with ds. I am lucky to be on a term time only contract with childminder so currently do not need to pay childcare in the holidays. Deputy needs to kerp her opinions to herself!

peppapigmustdie · 14/04/2014 19:49

None of the Nursery workers business! you might have marking to do or a relative to visit in hospital or even a funeral to attend. You are paying and have no need to justify. My dd still goes to nursery on my day off as it varies week to week so have to pay for all week. I use this time to do whatever needs doing in the house or do nothing depending on my mood.

BrianTheMole · 14/04/2014 23:15

Good for you Rowood Grin

thebody · 14/04/2014 23:20

And funnily enough it's not a crime to have time to yourself as a mum.

RedSoloCup · 14/04/2014 23:30

If this was the case my 3yo wouldn't go to nursery at all as I work evenings but yet she goes for her whole five funded sessions a week and loves it! Some people need to get a life....

Xmasbaby11 · 14/04/2014 23:33

I often take DD in when I have a day off. Nursery workers wouldn't know that though since I am not a teacher. We don;t have any family to babysit so the only time we have without DD is if we take a day off work and she goes to nursery.

Sadly my free days are usually spent doing housework as it is impossible to get anything done with 2 yo DD around!

Sharaluck · 14/04/2014 23:37

As you're paying for it I would think it strange if you didn't send her (unless you were going away or had a special outing planned etc)

very cheeky for her to comment!

MidniteScribbler · 14/04/2014 23:59

I'm on school holidays this week and DS is still going all week. I do pull him out early some days and go and do things with him. But I have 30 children all day during the week and him all day and evening when I'm not at school, so this is my only chance to get some time to myself. I'm doing marking and planning, painting my house and enjoying some guilt free nana naps in the afternoon. Bliss.

cat88 · 15/04/2014 06:43

YANBU I'm currently getting DC3 ready for nursery so that I can spend the day with her older siblings doing activities with them that are impossible with a 14 month old running around the place.
Thanks for your thread as I was feeling slightly guilty about doing this.
We pay for the places either way so why not?? Am i the only one who thinks the deputy was hoping for some time off??

dramajustfollowsme · 15/04/2014 08:03

I put dd into nursery in the holidays too. Usually I do stuff like cleaning, decluttering, marking, reports and planning.
However, as I am heavily pregnant today I am meeting other friends - who are putting their kids into nursery too, for lunch and a wonder round the shops. I am ridiculously excited to do this. We meet up quite regularly but usually with children. This will be much more civilised.
Actually, these are my friends - it won't be civilised at all! Wink
They will all have a couple of drinks but I will be chauffeur.
Now just to peel dd away from Milkshake on the TV and drop her off.
Excited!

NMFP · 15/04/2014 08:15

Lots of SAHM parents put children in nursery a few hours a week or have help at home every week.

Teaching is really hard work. Enjoy your few hours break.

monkeymamma · 15/04/2014 08:16

I'm off work today and ds is at nursery I'm in bed sleeping off morning sickness. I wouldn't want to mess with his routine, y'know. It's very important. (And I'll be with him all say tomorrow and Friday!)

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/04/2014 08:20

I left DS in nursery one day a week when I was on my second mat. leave, I didn't want to take him out for 9 months and then put him back again, plus it gave me a day each week with just the baby, which was lovely. If I got comments like that I would think it very cheeky.

slightlyconfused85 · 15/04/2014 08:48

I'm a teacher and my DD goes to a CM term time only. Whereas I'm very grateful for the money saved I sometimes wish that she was in a nursery so I could still get a break in the holidays!!! I think that's very rude and I'm sure most teachers who are paying anyway take their children in and use the opportunity to actually relax for once! Enjoy your day

mimishimmi · 15/04/2014 10:05

YADNBU - how rude when you are still expected to pay for the day. I would tell her as much too.

hiccupgirl · 15/04/2014 10:07

I'm a teacher too and my DS carries on going to his nursery 3 days a week in the holidays.

I pay for it and can't reduce his days just for a week or 2, he enjoys seeing his friends and it keeps him in the routine of going especially over the summer. Plus we have no family near by so it's the only time DH and I get to have a meal out or do jobs without him.

He will go to holiday club there 1 or 2 days a week once he starts school so I can get my work done.

whatever5 · 15/04/2014 10:13

She has a cheek to comment. I would suspect that she has calculated child:staff ratios on the basis that your child won't be there in the school holidays and is annoyed that she can't do that..

Dubjackeen · 15/04/2014 16:02

She has a cheek! So you are paying the fees, but she expects not to have to deliver the service you are laying for. If she says it again on Wednesday, I'd suggest come right back with a blank expression, and a confused, oh so is there term time available... Grrr!

Dubjackeen · 15/04/2014 16:02

Paying...not laying...

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 15/04/2014 16:08

I take A/L about once every two months and put DS is nursery as normal. Either DH takes the day off too and we do something nice together (no locally babysitters) or I just have a nice day to myself. I think it's positively healthy to do this.

TattyDevine · 15/04/2014 16:34

I used to get a version of this from working friends. They'd rave about how fantastic the nursery was and how much their child adored going there. It was fantastic, and their children did love it, as did mine. But they thought it was weird I'd send my children there 2 days a week because I didn't work. If their children adored going and got something wonderful out of it, why shouldn't mine, despite my working status! Grin

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 15/04/2014 16:40

I'm about to leave to pick up my ds after corrie finishes and I don't care what they think . It means my dd gets some 1-2-1 time away from a challenging toddler and ds gets time away from his big sister.

Harri20 · 15/04/2014 16:53

I know that feeling. I do shift work which means occasionally I get days off where our lg is due in nursery (which we have paid for) I still take her in especially as we pay £48 a day. So I will use the day for things like house work, uni work, food shop, hairdressers, dr appointments etc all things which are much quicker and less stressful without a 19 month old in tow. Nursery have never said anything but I get that feeling when I drop her off not in my work uniform, they are judging me lol.

TattyDevine · 15/04/2014 17:35

Depends on the nursery of course but the one I used only barely half of the staff had children of their own, probably less. It is so easy to make judgements until you really know how it feels to be essentially on call to several different children of different ages 24/7 as well as co-running a household. Some if the 19 year old nursery nurses still lived at home with their parents and I would wager possibly also had their washing done and dinner on the table when they were in for the day by their doting parents...Wine

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