Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be told that it's a suprise that my daughter is in nursery this week..

120 replies

Rowood · 14/04/2014 10:43

Im teacher, my daughter attends nursery 2 days a week (Monday and Wednesdays) I turned up with her today on the first day of the holidays and the deputy said to my daughter "oh I'm surprised to see you here today with your mummy being a teacher"...I responded with "oh I'm going to clean the house and do some ironing" meaning I'm going to have a day doing fuck all without my beautiful but very bossy 2 year old ordering me around.
She does this everytime I drop her off in the holidays and I always, stupidly justify my actions- I wouldn't mind but I have two older children (who are in footy club today- their choice!) so it's not like they think I'm dumping running and resting (even though I am today).
What annoys me even more is that In the holidays I drop her at 10 and collect at 3- she sleeps for 2 of these hours and I pay £44 a day anyway! Do they really think I'm going to pay for nothing when she loves going there?
Grrrrrrr anyway I'd better get on with my ironing Wink (switched on the electric blanket)

OP posts:
GoodnessIsThatTheTime · 14/04/2014 11:32

On my first child I thought this was really really odd. Now I'm on my second I can see why...

SaveTheMockingBird · 14/04/2014 11:36

YANBU. That would really annoy me.
My DH is a teacher and my DD is at nursery today (I'm at work). DH is looking after DS who is 5 and also off from school and doing things with him that he can't do when DD is also there. DD enjoys nursery and we pay for it, so what's the problem?
I would have no hesitation in sending a DC to nursery for a few hours even if I am off work and I needed some time off to myself. We have no family around to babysit so nursery is our only form of childcare.

MrsDeVere · 14/04/2014 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

andsmile · 14/04/2014 11:41

Nocomt your comments up thread have made me feel more human.

I am a SAHP with a 2 year old - very bossy doesnt sit and play on the rug by any means.

I want her to go somewhere I am not enough. I though about it. I feel guilty for longing for the free nursery place which is a year away!

andsmile · 14/04/2014 11:42

sorry Rowood

I used to do the same with my eldest when I was teaching, he still went most days again he only went for two days anyway.

Id be thinking cheeky bitch as I walked away. You put your feet up.

fuckertyfuckfuck · 14/04/2014 11:43

This really annoys me.
Our old nursery would know that I was off because I'd do the drop off and so many times I got comments.
Ultimately I still had to pay whether DD was in or not so I took advantage and enjoyed a day pottering about or some quality time with DP.
I remember being told off once for asking to collect her 2 hours early!
Im now a SAHM but DD goes twice a week else where. One day is spent doing housework and studying and the other is a day for me whether it be lunch with a friend or just reading.
I pay for it so I shall use it has become my moto!

DramaQueenofHighCs · 14/04/2014 11:46

I work in a school and used to take DS in to Nursary 3-4 days a week in the holidays too. He totally ADORED his nursery and, like you, I was paying for it anyway so why not? I used to pick him up early or drop him off late sometimes though and used to go in to 'help out' some days as well. We had him for 3 weeks of the summer holidays so he still got plenty of time with us.

lynniep · 14/04/2014 11:47

Stop with your excuses - you don't have to justify it. You paid for a service, she should provide it without rude or sarky comments. I would not dream of keeping DS2 off nursery because I'm not working if I've already paid for it (usually when I have to take time off in school holidays). He loves it. I get some rare time with DS1 who is school age and even if I didn't have another child to look after, I would take that down time without question. Pah!

17leftfeet · 14/04/2014 11:48

I would be very surprised if a teacher didn't keep their child in nursery in the holidays

My teaching friends use those days to get on top of jobs in the house, planning, marking etc

RunnerBeen · 14/04/2014 11:48

Not strange at all- and she has no right to be commenting.

DS has a nursery place one afternoon a week, i stopped needing it for work aboyt a year ago (occassionaly still do) but he loves it and it allows me a free afternoon for housework, shopping or catchung up with a friend for lunch or something- things i otyerwose would not get to do child-free as i'm a single parent.

i've never had one comment from his nursery and i wouldn't be best pleased if they did. People use childcare for lots of reasons other than work- including just needing an often well deserved rest!

LindyHemming · 14/04/2014 11:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mintyy · 14/04/2014 11:50

I really like that suggestion upthread ... say to her "Oh, so teachers don't have to pay for a place here in the holidays then? Fantastic! why didn't you say?" load it with sarcasm, she deserves it.

Misspixietrix · 14/04/2014 12:00

I like Lauries Idea. Tell her you're off to the pub next time!

Burren · 14/04/2014 12:09

I get a version of this - not from our lovely childminder, but from random people in the village - because I am a writer who currently works entirely at home. Why they think it is any more possible for me to write a book and meet editorial deadlines with a stroppy toddler hauling me by the leg than it would be for me to run an office/meet clients/teach at a university, I don't know. Perhaps it is not a job if you can perform it without getting into a car in a Karen Millen suit in the mornings...

juneybean · 14/04/2014 12:11

I'm shocked she says it to the child!? YANBU btw, you pay for the space, why wouldn't you use it to have some time to yourself? (and yes I know you're cleaning, but it doesn't matter, you can do what the hell you want!)

WipsGlitter · 14/04/2014 12:16

I'm off tomorrow and Wed.

I'm going to be looking after DS1, but DS2 will still be going to daycare because (a) I'm paying for it and (b) I'm paying for it and (c) it means I can do stuff with DS1 that would be a pain to do if DS2 was there!

BrianButterfield · 14/04/2014 12:16

DS's new nursery charges teachers for one day a week to keep the place open during holidays - I said in that case I would probably just send DS in anyway and the manager said "oh yes, that's what most people do." So it's perfectly normal!

Original poster
Rowood · 14/04/2014 12:19

Thanks everyone! I feel utterly justified from your reactions- and the fact I've just had an hours kip!
I'll let you know if they say anything when I go to collect her...I've got lots of ideas for answers now that I'm really hoping she does! Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Rowood · 14/04/2014 12:25

Meant to add that the nursery is based at a farm and play barn which is very expensive to visit £12.95 per adult and child(although she would be free because she is under 4 but y other children wouldn't) knowing she will visit there each day for free saves me having to pay to take her and my other children their. Instead I can spend my money doing other things with them knowing that she has had this experience already.
I have to say the manager of the nursery never makes these comments though just the deputy it would seem

OP posts:
Mutley77 · 14/04/2014 12:27

Gosh I must be a dreadful mother then as my 10 month old DD (DC3) goes to nursery one day a week while I sit around and do nothing all day use the time to productively do things for myself or my older 2 kids, that can't be done with a cruising terror in attendance! EG hairdresser, helping at school, sorting out toys/clothes at home, clothes shopping... Or sometimes just napping, reading or meeting DH or a friend for lunch.

We also don't have any family or friends close by, DH works full time, so effectively I would otherwise have absolutely no child free time.

I think I would have struggled to do this with my PFB but now I am a more experienced and wiser mother I recognise and appreciate the importance of head space - and I think you are totally doing the right thing. You are not alone :)

WilsonFrickett · 14/04/2014 12:29

Few things are more teeth-itchingly nippy than a child-care provider who judges parents for using child care Rowood and it sounds like the deputy is one of them.

Hulababy · 14/04/2014 12:30

DD used to go to her nursery a couple of days a week in school holidays - I was still a teacher then. It meat that I can do my work - planing and prep, marking, etc plus time to do some housework.

Then meant the other days of the week we had to do what we wanted and have fun.

Hulababy · 14/04/2014 12:31

And like others have said - you have paid for it already anyway; no term time contract at DD's nursery.

moanymiserablemum · 14/04/2014 12:42

I would put all my dc in full time child care, for the entire easter holiday if i could afford it...I kid you not!

YANBU!

TheScience · 14/04/2014 12:43

DS1 always goes to nursery when I'm off - in fact I'm on maternity leave now and he's still going!