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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to swap the packaging and see if MIL notices?

62 replies

fairylightsintheloft · 14/04/2014 10:41

she has a million issues with food. One or two genuine allergies but the rest just a complete obsession with ingredients and things she thinks affect her (but don't), serious over-anxiety. Have brought a different brand of cereal that has exactly the same ingredient list as her preferred one (was in Lidl, they don't do the real one). Shall I swap the bag into the old box and see if she notices?

OP posts:
thebody · 14/04/2014 10:45

Well only if you enjoy being so cruel and dismissive of another persons anxieties?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/04/2014 10:46

Well I wouldn't but that's me< shrugs shoulders>

Is it such a big deal just to buy the branded cereal?

Janethegirl · 14/04/2014 10:55

If you do, you really can't tell her because it would make you look mean. I'd buy the real stuff she likes.

ThePriory · 14/04/2014 10:56

I think she would notice, Lidl only sells total c*.

odyssey2001 · 14/04/2014 10:57

As someone who suffers from complex food intolerances that have nothing to do with anxiety, I think you are being cruel and uncaring. If you had done what she asked in the first place, you wouldn't have this problem. If you didn't want to cater for her needs, you should have either asked her not to come around or asked her to buy her own stuff.

CleverWittyUsername · 14/04/2014 10:58

I wouldn't mess with cereals if she does have genuine allergies. Husband has a nut allergy and knows exactly which cereals are safe despite saying 'traces' on the box, and which are likely to cause a reaction and so on.

LovelyJubblies · 14/04/2014 11:00

I wouldn't but I wouldnt eat breakfast with her

thornrose · 14/04/2014 11:03

Just out of curiosity would you do the same if it was your own mother?

usualsuspectt · 14/04/2014 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nannynewo · 14/04/2014 11:06

Same as clever I also have a nut allergy along with some other food intolerances and it can have an awful effect. Why put her through it? If she finds out, it will make her more anxious because she wouldn't be able to trust her. Just buy her the normal cereal and if you are really that stingy then ask her to pay.

Caitlyn2014 · 14/04/2014 11:06

She will be able see the difference let alone taste it.

Just buy her what she likes, its a box of cereal for goodness sake.

GreenFirefly · 14/04/2014 11:08

My mum tried this when I was little. I could tell they weren't Kellogg s cornflakes as soon as I poured them out.Grin she never tried it again. Some other cereals you just can't tell.

SleepRefugee · 14/04/2014 11:12

So she has "one or two" allergies. She is obviously affected by some foods then. I don't think it's your place to judge what she can and can't eat.

I think you're being mean and very unreasonable!

whitewitchofnarnia · 14/04/2014 11:13

I think it would be very cruel to do this just because you are ignorant and think all people should just like cereal of different brands. Just because you find her food preferences strange doesn't mean they are

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/04/2014 11:13

It's legend in our house about ds3- now 14 and his ability to be able to tell the difference between his favourite biscuit and supermarket own brand.

At 2 years old he could sniff, yes sniff!, a chocolate digestive and he knew if it wasn't McVities.

True fact. Wink

badidea · 14/04/2014 11:15

Agree with greenfirefly - I would totally notice the difference in taste even if the ingredients were the same. And I do think its mean to dismiss her anxieties because you think they are groundless.

If it's an issue getting the right cereal for you (e.g. if lidl is your local shop and doesn't sell it, and it'd be a big trip to get a shop that does) why not suggest she bring her own cereal this time as you've had no time to get some in and you'll make sure you have it for the next visit?

picnicbasketcase · 14/04/2014 11:15

I would try it if I was absolutely sure it was just out of pure fussiness, like people who will only ever eat Heinz beans or whatever. But if she thinks she's allergic I wouldn't risk it, think how awful it would be to make someone ill over pettiness and oneupmanship

pictish · 14/04/2014 11:16

She will sooooo be able to tell the bran flakes aren't her usual brand.
I'm a great believer in the wonderousness of Lidl, but the fact is, their cereal sucks.

wonkylegs · 14/04/2014 11:18

I swapped 'wheat biscuits' into the old weetabix box after being told my niece & nephew couldn't eat them because they weren't the same. They never noticed. They have no allergies though and the whole family are just fussy buggers who I refuse to pander too.
It would depend I guess, I have some easily avoidable food allergies that I don't expect other people to cater for but if it were food basics I probably would look at it differently.

Kittymautz · 14/04/2014 11:21

I would do it IF it was about general fussiness, but no if there was a chance that it was about allergies.

I used to have a friend (lost touch, didn't fall out), who was so fussy about only using particular brands. She stayed at mine once and I didn't have her preferred brand (ie she would never use a different brand) of tea bag. I told a (white?) lie to her and claimed they were her usual brand. She commented on what a lovely cuppa it was - then I told her the truth!

Hissy · 14/04/2014 11:23

What is the cereal. if weetabix, she'll notice...

Groovee · 14/04/2014 11:24

If it was your mother, would you do the same?

Nanny0gg · 14/04/2014 11:32

Why would you do that?

Is it really such an inconvenience to you to cater for her? If so, ask her to bring her own.

Even if it's just 'fussiness', so what? She is old enough to make her own decisions about likes and dislikes.

I think you sound spiteful.

PlumpPartridge · 14/04/2014 11:38

I would, but then I'm interested in how many lies people tell themselves to make themselves feel better in some way and so her blithe ignorance would amuse and interest me in equal measure. Ex-scientist, what can I say ;)

I'd only do it if I were 100% sure it were fussiness and not medically valid though.

And yes, I would do it to my own kids/parents/friends too!

Original poster
fairylightsintheloft · 14/04/2014 11:46

Yes I would do the same if it was my DM and no in this instance it is fussiness not allergies. I have no issue about getting the real stuff just happened that I was in a supermarket that doesn't sell it and the packaging is almost identical (hence me checking the ingredients list v carefully). I am not uncaring about her issues and spend a great deal of time catering to them actually but it is a little hard to take them ALL seriously when she changes her mind on a monthly basis about what does and doesn't cause her problems. It is more akin to the Heinz beans example that someone mentioned. Of course I would never mess with allergy issues like nuts. Strawberries for instance, she is allergic to and I take trouble to avoid them. I buy the specific brand of bread, butter, yoghurt etc she will have and organic milk rather than normal when she stays.

OP posts: