to 'take dsc away from their mum'?

[Sampanther]

My dsc are aged 7 and 8. I have a 6 yr old and dp and I have a 2 yr old together plus we're expecting a baby in October. Dps career means he can currently only have one weekend of contact per month because he has to work most weekends. The dsc love it here and always ask to stay longer or come more often. They are close to me and the other children as well as dp. Their mum usually sends them to their grandparents or elsewhere for at least one or two of the other weekends and they have clearly said to us they'd rather be here.

Dp is out from 7-7 so realistically wouldn't see them much extra, but we really want them to feel this is their home and family too and so are considering asking for eow contact. My friend, however, said it's unfair to 'take them away from their mum' if their dad isn't here. Aibu to think that being able to feel they have a home they are welcome in and to have a close relationship withtheir ssiblings is a good enough reason to ask for eow contact?

I don't understand why people are being so negative

Contact every other week doesn't sound unreasonable whatever the situation and even if DP is working, presumably he can put them to bed both nights just in the same way any other working parent would
I understand if your relationship with their mother is tense that the practicality of getting EOW might be tough. Can you get the grandparetns on board? Maybe they can suggest it to her?

I think it's lovely that you all want to spend more family time with the DSCs, and given the background i.e. that they used to spend a lot more time with you, it's not an unrealistic idea, however...

...I would really question the timing. Even if it was going to be straightforward and amicable for you to change the status quo (and it sounds like that is very much not the case), taking on the extra weekend and managing 4 children and a new baby singlehandedly every other week is not going to be easy. If, God forbid, you have difficulties later in your pregnancy/labour or a tiny baby that is harder work than average (!) it may mean the arrangements need to flexible which could be distressing for the children and is more than likely to be meet with hostility and awkwardness by their mum by the sounds of it.

I'd suggest you wait a year until the dust has settled re the new baby & maybe think about it then.

I think that you should be welcoming and open to what the kids want, but also respect the feelings of their DM and GPs. Don't underestemate their relationship either. I'd say something along the lines of "we'd love to have you eow, but won't your dgp miss you?" See what they say. If they are adamant I don't see a problem with your DP arranging more visits, the kids have a right to spend time with their siblings too, and with you as a significant adult in their life (that'll get some mumsnetters' nickers in a twist! Shock horror! )